1) High feast. On the table, among others — nearly empty bottle of wine. You take it and ask everyone: "Well, who the last drop?" Here you have a bottle angrily grabs the hand of the guy who claims, "I do not blame you, sorry, but the bottle — mine, and I decide to whom and when will this last drop ".
2) Head: "You are as translated for payment of their private conversations with a working phone? Four stamps? And in the account is 4.02! I had to pay extra for you 2 pfennig, lend. I hope that this will not happen again. "
I — only 50 pfennig coin, the head twenty minutes out of their exchange.
3) At check tenderly kissing couple. Tape lined purchasing it. Comes of all couples, man, cashier, "My — up here, stuffing and rolls." Girl pays its "Orbit" on their own.
4) Treat the people on the street are not accepted, except that uglyadkoy. Guys do not look at the girls, the girls do not look at guys. People look directed straight, you can cut in a counter-passer.
5) to bump into you, he can not just because of the limited angle of view, but also because he has principles. Why did he have to take a step to the side, and not you?
6) Three times I've watched the fight running around in the desert and a spacious park of men: they frontally collided with one another on the run.
7) The principle of "speed does not beat" the Germans have no effect. Kicking.
Nothing angers German, as an attempt to get something for free.
9) Being invited to visit, the Germans are trying to eat as much as possible: officially declared the freebies should be used to the utmost.
10) The Germans are almost never invited to visit.
11) In the cities people often do not have curtains
12) If you're not disabled, no one would ever show compassion to you, under any circumstances. Every man for himself. Participation in other people's problems society does not.
13) A lot is based on a social contract, even if the situation is, in principle, can not adhere to the general rule, the rule will be followed: If I do not hold the rules, they can, and the other does not hold, thinking the same way and so on. — Under the threat of the correct functioning of the system.
14) If a German does not recognize what kind of system is at stake, and I am confident of their impunity, we will gladly do a dirty trick.
15) If your Maserati or Aston Martin is not in the garage and under the lamp — sooner or later it across the length of the chip went keys.
16) The Germans hate the Russian
17) There are two categories of Germans who love France and regularly commute there on vacation (a minority) who hate France and the French because of the alleged arrogance of the latter. A common language with French German may find, in principle, for there is no more different nations.
The French laugh at the sight of German women in the stretched jeans and flip-flops, worn on the socks, and serve them as homeless.
18) The Germans perfected civilization, but culture — no.
19) The Germans are very unpretentious in food. For dinner, they may very well be a piece of bread with two slices of sausage disgusting cheap discounter. If they invite anyone to visit, you will be treated with boiled potatoes with sour cream. And supplements are not offered.
20) The Germans are surprised if they find out that you can easily cook chicken soup.
21) The Germans did not collect in the forest, with rare excluding Republic. If a German — mushroom hunter, he knows at least eight species of fungi, and accompanies them to find narcissistic naming of species in Latin.
22) In the forest, the Germans are afraid of panic (extremely rare), the fox tapeworm, which for some reason they are very intimidated in the sixties. Never try to say, zemlyanichinu. Phobia extends to raspberries, which no fox in my life nakakat.
23) strawberries and so on. harvested on private fields, the output of weighing and paying collected. When the official season passes, and the home team rolled up trade, on the field yet it is quite possible to collect buckets of product, for free. But no one does (except for Russian).
24) The Germans did not know that growing abundantly here currant, dogwood, cherry, viburnum and rowan can have. On collecting viewed with disapproval.
25) Germans like elder. Disgusting elderberry juice is considered very enjoyable, just as tasteless and Elderberry syrup color.
26) If you live in the city: once a month, if not more, on Saturday you will wake up at 7 am. The sound of a diesel lawn mower is impeding the morning sleep. And dizelnaya "listosduvalka" is also very noisy.
27) German women — a special subspecies of Homo sapiens. They differ from vkorne German men. The concept of "love" they do not cultivate, as do women in Russia, France, and so forth. The women here — open cold rationality creatures, amazing rudeness of his world. No ladies shi-shi.
28) It should be very high to climb the social ladder, to hear surrounded by conversations on other topics than football and cars.
29) The standard machine is a German peasant — diesel, silver metallic Mercedes-Benz C 200 T-Model.
30) The Germans are very fond of mushroom dishes, in markets where there is a rack with roasted mushrooms (oyster mushrooms grown industrially, and shiitake mushrooms) — turn. While in a forest full of white, milk mushrooms, aspen mushrooms, chanterelles …
31) The Germans subtle love tea, but it is brewed in pouches. They love to speculate about the difference in the fermentation of green and black teas, and the duration of infusion.
32) The Germans are very fond of a variety of healers, especially manipulation. Medical care in the first place diagnostics, Germany has a very bad (for the layman obychnogo)
33) In pools and so forth. showers are common to both men and women. Next to a couple guys will shamelessly to wash lady. In the baths of both sexes are steamed together.
34) You can not count that the Germans will hold the door.
35) The Germans hold the door, consider themselves very gallant. If a German you hold the door, and the door you have ten meters — you need to hurry: the face of a German might be skewed, he is gallant, you hold the door, and you're a freak impolite, force yourself to wait.
36) If A colleague has agreed to have dinner in the dining room with a colleague B, then you can offer to go for the company. It would be very rude not to invite. While it may not offer … But in conversation three of you will hardly participate: they are the same couple agreed, and they will communicate together. Your remarks are likely to be ignoririvany.
37) At work, the Germans are working.
38) The Germans are very smug and self-assured. We need a big effort to defend its position against any idiot, illiterate, half-educated. Mostly slack — and you have written off the account.
39) Prudent courtesy and discretion are seen by the Germans as folly and weakness.
40) The Germans cut the plain truth, no back and forth.
41) At work, you — not the person, and the function. The manifestation of personal emotions, reasoning on the topic of his inner world — a sign of the fool.
42) The Germans are vindictive.
43) Favorite Country Germans older (sixties) — Spain. Someone younger — South Africa, New Zealand and Australia. An example of why South Africa-minute drive like Russian as a model for the transition to democratic values.
44) Any decent high-school student spends a year on exchange in the United States. Germans with high-school education, almost all speak well in English.
45) The common people to know that you have — degree, you will be treated to a "Herr Doctor."
46) People with advanced degrees people can not stand.
47) People believe that you, as a foreigner, to hate the German national football team and gloat over her failures.
48) The Bavarians differ significantly from other Germans. They are more likely to be brunettes, and among them there are often well-meaning people and welcoming.
49) The image of the Hamburg beauty: tall girl with yellow hair and slender like a horse next big teeth.
50) The Germans rarely chew the cud. Smokers generally lower strata of society.
51) Fashion skateboards among German adolescents passed.
52) In public restrooms raprostraneny yumoristichie how to use the toilet brush (just wrong, wrong, almost right, right).
53) Swearing the Germans have anal fecal character.
54) The old men who were prisoners of war in Russia, like Russia. Now there are almost gone.
55) The Germans are privately collected sending humanitarian aid to the post-Soviet Russians. By nespravlyayuschimsya on life in the German civilization Germans are ruthless, to misery out of German civilization are treated with compassion.
56) Trains in Germany are frequent long overdue.
57) Medicine in Germany is divided into clinical (hospital, clinic) and in private practice. It is better to use uslogami clinics. Private doctors — fatcat arrogant redneck driving a Porsche.
58) Police in Germany are polite, they can easily ask for help. Due to the different and even small rallies seen whole regiments of police. Private German policeman in a flak jacket to look at perceived as a thug GRU.
59) Drug addiction is concentrated in Germany in the station areas. Among the many Russian junkies.
60) The Germans are very fond of ordering in a cafe latte. They seem to like psevdoitalyanskoe name of the drink (Latte macchiato, which in Italy no one drinks, especially in such monstrous portions, as is customary in Germany), transporting them mentally to hang naturally-Mediterranean lifestyle.
61) Presentation of the perfect evening of German women, one with a good book and a glass of French red wine on the couch.
62) The Germans know nothing about the French and non-French red wines. They themselves produce good white (Riesling, Gewurztraminer and Grauburgunder).
63) Cheap sparkling wines associated with the Germans (in German women, mostly) with a chic lifestyle. French Champagne is seen as boring at the same time show off.
64) Eat in Germany can be very cheap. Beef is much more expensive than pork.
65) The Germans love to eat fish. Despite the direct access to the sea, the fish in Germany is very expensive and the choice of its extremely poor. Cod — a delicacy. Names of fish here, no one knows of river fish on sale there (except factory trout in several varieties of carp so of fishing ponds). Occasionally sold smelt — wormy. Sale of fish dishes are concentrated in the hands of a fast food chain Nordsee.
66) For self-fishing to pass the exam, which includes throwing the sinker in a ground target from a distance of 15 meters from the reel, and the written part that covers the definition of species, understanding the mechanisms of the different layers of water saturation of oxygen and how to use the cage.
67) The basis of the German catering — Turkish eateries, and the country's best-selling dish — doner kebab (half round white bread with meat, salad and sauce inside). Standard specification for ordering: With sharp little! (Applies to the addition of red pepper) should be pronounced in broken German — as is the custom, or no longer correct.
68) Favorite food kids — potato fries with mayonnaise and ketchup (with "barrier", that is) in the canteen on Wednesday — schnitzel with potato fries. Attracts a large number of people.
69) Pack of Marlboro cigarettes worth five euros in Germany
70) For the purchase of cigarettes in the automatic identification is required by the card with a chip, the information on which to the age of the buyer.
71) In Germany, only two rivers (as far as I know), in which the water is regarded as a relatively drinkable. Of the other does not drink.
72) Parking in the center of Frankfurt is 28 euros for 8 hours.
73) The Germans love to dress in pastel colors, especially those who are older.
74) In almost every village has its own club free lances. Each squad — their customs, uniforms, hats, medals and marches. Once a year is chosen Streletskiy king; very proud of this title. Groups shooters like marshirivat fanfare on interregional spetsprazdnikah ending booze.
75) The Student and cities are still common student corporation. As a rule, they come together on the basis of a male student fraternities. Corporations are generally detached villas and rooms in their rented for corporate dime. Participants follow strict statute of association shall include those present in ritual drinking bouts. Distributed hazing. Beginners clear — rookie with all the consequences. Corporations are of two types: Fighting and no. In fighting — mandatory exercise saber and epee. Former corporate recognized by the honorable scars on their faces.
76) Did you get a penalty for wrong parking lot — sometimes a question of a few centimeters. Frequent notes from the municipal checkers like: "In measuring the distance from the tip of the left rear wheel rim to the place where the height of the curb road starts to decrease, indicating the band simplified transition of pedestrians, you blocked the ETU band at 11 centimeters. Kindly pay a fine of 15 euros. "
77) As in the Chukchi German jokes often serve the inhabitants of Friesland. Recently — rarer. Yes, and telling anecdotes from the Germans — a rather rare phenomenon.
78) Do mnogoh Germans — mental illness. The figures now google will not. Perhaps the fact that they often diagnostitsiruyutsya? When doctors too lazy to get to the cause sores — one, and shall cleave psychosomatics.
79) One of the common causes of labor inadequacy in Germany — clinical depression.
80) The main causes of depression: mobbing in the workplace, fear of tomorrow and loneliness. The reasons for these reasons, I think, sufficiently highlighted in the preceding paragraphs.
81) In Germany legalized prostitution. Prostitutes are entitled to pension and other social security tokens, as well as representatives of any other profession. There are even unions.
82) In Germany — great humorists. Ruthless, clever and subtle humor. For fans there is, of course, and the barracks.
83) The Germans bring up children strictly and without concessions. There may well be severe, with no allowances for age, yelling at the two-year toddler klyancheyuschego buy at the store bright candy.
84) The Germans carefully monitor compliance with the order in the queue. If you do not hack his way, which side stand and walk in front of someone — hard malice.
85) Mature German women often torn otovaritsya forward line, just ignoring others.
86) My favorite gear from the Germans: the real criminal cases played out in detail the scenes of actors, audience, able to help the investigation, call the transfer. Then — report disclosed by the public occasions.
87) An important question in characterizing an unknown perpetrator — the presence or absence of an East European accent. It comes down to what a person is described as "a tall, athletic build, without speaking Eastern European accent."
88) What a strange man on the street, an unfamiliar face in the village — a stream of frightened calls to the police.
89) The question of how to sort garbage tenant (eg, empty Tetra Pak cartons — in a tank for waste packaging, not in cardboard for recycling) is very nasuschen and often resolved in court.
90) In trottuaru cycling have the right person, not those reaching the age of eight, accompanied by their parents. Direction drive must match with the direction of traffic. On velah requires lighting, fueled by a dynamo. Theoretically, riding roadies at dusk and later banned: neon / Diode bulbs are not fed with dynamo.
91) Spirits are used rarely, usually in the villages, where they can entertain schnapps.
92) As in other parts of Europe, the German village hosts the annual festivals, fairs, kermes: in one village — cherry blossom festival in the other — feast of pancakes, in the third — party pig feet.
93) riotous Christmas markets clearly prekrashayut its activities in 22:00.
94) The Earth and the people of East Germany from there — Class II for FRGshnikov.
95) The German, her neighbor, was drunk oblevavshy your balcony, silently, without apology will come to you in the morning with a bucket and a rag in his hand.
96) The Germans, who are in mainline churches, pay tithes. Her collection is entrusted to the tax authorities. More and more Germans go out of the church for this reason. Request an anathema.
97) In the name of my daughter, then five days old, came due to medical transportation services. Wellcome Institute Germani.
98) Only the Germans with a degree of seriousness reason acc. forums to stimulate their vibrators in the shape of a dolphin or a bunny.
99) Of the Germans who stand up to leave at five to take the position of deck chairs, sun loungers towels on them, they know, probably all. The real truth. Germans in pure form.
100) A Russian Germans for that and hate that they just ignore these towels.