If you decide to have a baby

Try first to pass these simple tests and then you decide whether you are ready for it. 1. Take the supermarket with you to the store a couple of small animals, such as goat and pig. All the time keep them in sight. Before leaving, pay for everything they ate or broken. 2. Dress Up Take a live octopus, big and angry. Shove it into the net marketplace, making sure that the fact that all the tentacles were inside. [Cut] 3. Breakfast Take a large plastic bottle. Fill halfway with water and hang from the ceiling. Swing the bottle. Now imagine that you — the plane and try to get a spoon of cereal in the bottle. We have? Now, stop the bottle and turn its contents on the floor. 4. Take the test for inventive piece of cardboard which usually sell eggs. Using scissors and paint, make of it a crocodile. Now, take a roll of toilet paper and turn it into a pretty Christmas candle. Only use masking tape and a piece of foil. Finally take the bag out of milk, a table tennis ball and an empty jar of instant coffee. Construct out of this replica of the Eiffel Tower. 5. Now spread the mess all upholstered furniture and curtains chocolate oil. Put herring tail behind the couch and let’s lying there all summer. 6. Take the toy box of Lego for 50 pounds (you can substitute the same number of large buttons). Sprinkle around the house. Remove the sneakers and tie her eyes. Now walk around the room to the bathroom or kitchen. Just quietly — baby just fell asleep. 7. Night For this test, you need a small sports bag that needs to be filled with sand — 6.5 kg. Submerge the bag completely into the water. At 15:00 grab a bag and start to dance the waltz with her, muttering something under his breath. Continue until 21:00. Put the bag on the couch and arrange side by side. Start the alarm for 22:00. When you wake up, grab her bag and sing all the songs you’ve ever heard of. When that will be more songs left — think of yourself ten or twenty, and sing them until 4:00 in the morning. You can relax a bit, but be sure to have the alarm for 5:00 am. When you wake up, cook breakfast. Continue in the same spirit every day for five years, trying to keep a cheerful view of a happy parent. 8. Forget the BMW car and buy a van. The first step is to put the glove box chocolate ice cream in a waffle cup and forget about it. If you have a radio, cassette bundled into 5-kopeck coin. Buy a big box of crackers and chocolate crumble all the contents in the back seat. Now, take a rake and a couple of times walk around the teeth on both sides of the machine. Excellent. 9. Physical test (for women) Take a bag of peas and attach it to the front of clothing. Remove the 9 months. Try not to pay attention to what your closet packed with clothes. You do not have long to dress a. 10. Physical test (for Men) Go to the nearest drugstore. Put your wallet on the cash register. Tell the pharmacist that he did it all himself. Now go to the nearest grocery store. Find director and agreed that now your salary will be credited directly to the store. Buy a newspaper. When he got home safely read it last time. Find the latest job family which already has a small child. To lecture them about what to do to rebonok was disciplined, diligent and polite. Do not forget to give some handy advice about toilet issues and about table manners. Offer a variety of options. Emphasize the importance of not allowing children to blossom. Enjoy your moment of triumph pedagogical talent. This is the last time you all know it.

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