Teach me LIFE

A friend of my mother — Alla — many years ago adopted a girl Lily. Up to two years of h yl I lived with an older sister Masha and alcoholic parents. Then Dad killed Mom and went to prison. Lily went to the house of the baby. When she was five years old, Allah took her to Paris, in a large bright apartment in the 16th district, learned to speak French every year used to take a rest on the Cote d’Azur, where she has her own villa. The first shock Alla felt when Lil’ka pointed to the iron and asked, «What is it?» They have clothes in the orphanage itself becomes clean and ironed. The second shock was a year later. Lily arranged for normal children scandal "buy, buy, and Alla tried to calmly explain that, firstly, it is such a tone would not respond, and secondly, money does not grow on trees, and squander them on endless toys and entertainment — a luxury. Lily immediately struck back: «I regret that you adopted me. If you have not adopted, I would have adopted rich people, who every day would buy me toys." The psychologist explained Alla, that the «spoiled children of the orphanage» — it is a social phenomenon. «Spoiled»? To understand how to actually bring in an orphanage, we Vanya Smoking photographer drove in two children’s institutions in the Smolensk region. We have chosen them for a reason. It was there that a charitable foundation «Our Children», founded by Anna Margulis (Margulis and his wife Eugenia, a former guitarist «Time Machine»), launched a project — «public housing». I, a man who grew up in a house with kitchen, bathroom and parents took time to understand what it is. The fact that the children’s home — this is a problem in Russia, spoke only in the early 1990s. And in the minds of the public Honourable formed then the image of cold and hungry orphans. Something like Momma from «Republic SHKID», which hurt all around — the pioneers, the windshield wipers, the state. He should be required to fill up with toys and sweets. Adults aunts and uncles have created hundreds of charities and rushed to collect money for the computers. Of course, children’s homes must be computers, mobile phones, delicious food, and all that we give to children in the family. With only one difference — the parents of their children in parallel teach and then forced to live on their own (because the sense of family — grow from a child an adult) and children (as well as any other state-owned) homes, even if unintentionally, forged infantile deprived children free will. Left in 18 years without care, they will be helpless in the face of fraud, employers, the meter, the refrigerator and the door lock. They need a little bit to prepare for the real world. For this fund in the two child care centers equipped apartment — just like the real thing. Children go there populated by turns in small groups to themselves for a while to farm. We are asked to directors of children’s homes are not specifically try to our arrival, I wanted to see everything «for real», but when the car drove up to the door of the orphanage, we have already seen, «tenant» Igor and Egor. They just finished setting the table. Foundation staff told us what to bring gifts — tea set and dumplings. On the table steaming tasty burgers, which according to the educator, clocked and fried to our arrival, Igor. He, like many others, regularly attends classes at a cooking studio in a boarding school, where you learn to cut the lettuce and cook soup. The apartment at the time lived four boys — who finish 9th and 11th grade. The main task of the apartment — to teach them to live independently. What do you mean yourself? Children’s home to 18 children live without pocket money and do not ask where does the bread on the table (How? He is always there!), And then they are pushed out of the nest. They learned how to fly or not — time will tell. Here is one real, and, unfortunately, a typical story: Acne, a graduate of the orphanage at age 18 received high school diploma and the keys of their own housing. (This is not a miracle — by law the state provides housing for all graduates who do not have apartments in the property. But, unfortunately, it often happens that a child somewhere is registered, but there are living relatives who are not happy about it at all. Then the state apartments not supposed to. But that’s another story.) Acne also given start-up capital, something around 200 rubles (depending on the region the capital varies on average from 100 to 300 thousand rubles) — also from the state. And he was alone in the city, however small. He had no job, no profession, no relations, there is not even a basic understanding of where to start. And four months later in his apartment without electricity. It took another two months to realize Acne — the light turned off for nonpayment. How, tell, he was aware that for the light you have to pay? Well, guess teachers call the orphanage, they came and explained. And in most cases it ends with the kids just squander the money, and well, if not redeemed black realtors apartment (now the apartment is no longer given to children in the property and draw up something like a social tenancy without prior sale). It remains resentment, feelings of injustice, cruelty, anger and depression. According to the Prosecutor General’s Office in 2003, of the 15 thousand teenagers 5000 fall in the dock during the year after graduation, 3000 remain homeless and 1.5 thousand commit suicide. I worked for six months on this material and tried for yourself to understand how to solve the problem. Simple answers are not found. In my opinion, the system nedodaet graduates of two basic things — they do not know how to love and do not know how to get in real life. And if the first could only teach the foster family, then the second challenge you can try to manage within the orphanage. In this sense, the project «Social kvartiragt;) should help. However, in the sanitary rules, approved by the chief sanitary doctor of Russia, and compulsory for all children’s homes and boarding schools, it is written: «Socially useful work of children of the senior and preparatory groups, held in the form of self-service (duty of the dining room, help in preparing for classes, and others. ). Its duration should not exceed 20 minutes. » I can see how I’m in my 15 years of knocking on the clock, and allude to my mother that for 20 minutes, during which she is entitled to my slave labor of cleaning the apartment, has long expired. And I do not believe it, clearly hear what she said to me in response. But at the orphanage such requirements should be carried out strictly. The ban on «child labor», by the way, appeared in the Soviet Union only the best of intentions. This rule is still no one has canceled. Therefore, social apartments — this is only the initiative guide. By the way, while I was preparing for a trip, it seemed to me that these apartments are some much more profound task — to change the minds of children, teach them to be responsible. And so on. But in reality, everything is much easier. So simple that even some of the problems seemed far-fetched to me — why, for example, teach someone to cook soup? Well, Victor poured the broth when cooked chicken. He also made it clear: «broil chicken.» About broth nobody spoke. What’s so dangerous to life? But one of the teachers, open up, explained: «Imagine a child one day collapses habitual way of life. The nurse will no longer ironed jeans (pat them there, though!), Do not pour the soup cook, caretaker will not issue a new jacket to replace the old torn. How to live without a schedule and a fixed schedule? And if you do not teach them at least basic things that children simply do not know where to start. Either wash the laundry, whether to look for a job, whether to shoot. Therefore, many are in prison — there is a comfortable and familiar framework. And no need to decide for you is all about the convoy. «

I AM YOUR bureaucracy is very unpleasant!

During the experiment, the children artificially create circles of bureaucratic hell, through which they will sooner or later take place in real life. We made out of paper, along with Victor and Maxim, pupils Shatalovskogo orphanage.

It all begins with an application for accommodation, which Victor and Maxim up in the office of the social teacher. The statement — all passport details and the exact length of stay.

Then — the conclusion of an agreement with a lawyer. The document clearly stated the rights and obligations of the parties. The conditions under which could be evicted from the apartment. The mandatory rules. The contract must be renewed, that is, to follow the calendar.

The most difficult step — to sign an agreement with the director. Director finds fault anything. Sets tricky questions, send a contract for renegotiation, meticulously asked what the rights and obligations of the parties. Verifies data. And only after that sign.

With the agreement signed Victor and Max go to the secretary, who writes for their products from the warehouse. With this statement — in accounting. Accountant of the invoice for the cancellation of products. It is necessary to sign the act, which states that all products are written off will be eaten children. This is not just an ingenious test — or children’s home could be accused of theft and embezzlement. Discarded products in the consignment note, children can get in the dining room.

Then begin the nice things. For example, a trip to the store. In the dining room give only products authorized by the Ministry of Health, potatoes, bread, meat, fish, cheese and so on. The rest can be bought in the store. The real money, however, no one gives — in the store, you can select the products, and then they pay adult of charitable funds. Victor and Maxim know how much they can spend. By the way, the menu for the day — an important point. You must be able to plan. If you fail, you can go to the dining room of the orphanage. In the life of empty refrigerator will remain empty. «Eggs, cucumber, peas and .. — Viti voice becomes quieter -… mayonnaise.» Orphanages mayonnaise is not put on the orders of the Ministry of Health. The child learns to communicate with government agencies and authorities. In our country, this is an important skill.


Living without supervision outside the orphanage his students can not — that’s the law. Under the project, the children built a very real apartment — with living room, bathroom, kitchen and bedroom. Washing machines, kitchen appliances, showers — all grown-up. But they remain one except at night. All the rest of the time they regularly visit social workers. Some sit quietly by and not interfere in the habitual way. Other tips to help and can even mend potekshy tap. Students graduating classes have to spend several weeks in the apartment. Eighteen people — it’s not a kitten who wants to take the pen and stroke. He’s a grown man, who will compete with a billion other such adults. It is unlikely that he will cope if to adulthood to treat him like a baby.

The person with whom I conduct a joint household before the move into social housing, children write essays on a simple topic — «What I want to get from the project.» Then he reads the work psychologist and holds a plurality of compatibility testing. There were cases when after the first day of trial the children refused to live in the same apartment. The reasons ranged from the banal «it does nothing» (by the way, is the main reason for divorce, especially among young people) to «not get along.»

A bit easier than in real life, of course, to establish within the State boarding conditions, one hundred percent identical to a private apartment, you can not. Children are allowed to come into the dining room at lunch and for dinner after school, take things to the cleaners. In short, to use the services of their usual children’s home.

The right to rest Computer and TV — your favorite entertainment in a social apartment in a boarding school in Safonov Teachers do not prohibit. (Pictured left -Misha. While everyone was asleep, he plays in the Heroes of Might and Magic). Children choose themselves how much time they look at the screen. But there is a condition — in the apartment must be clean, dinner is prepared, the lessons are done. And then, Cinderella, you can go to the ball. In the photo above: the girls at the boarding school in Safonovo holidays, a lot of time, and we have taught them the game, like in the movie Tarantino.

CHECK OUT every two or three weeks the children are changing — so that every graduate had the chance to live in the apartment. Children are incredibly cherish this opportunity to take a sip of freedom and responsible approach to the observance of the treaty. For violations can be evicted. Safonovo have the option to extend the contract. A few days before the end of the children are already starting to worry about, they will extend it or not. Educators, okotorye ra-byuotayut with children in the framework of the project «social housing» is already considered a success the fact that the need to wash the dishes by teenagers gives pleasure.

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