Too. Much. Information!

It seems it’s all too easy to overshare

50 shades of awkward

My housemate had invited me to her friend’s party (begrudgingly), but was vague about what it was for. I turned up to be greeted by a mass ofpenis balloons… but it wasn’t a hen party; they were celebrating the 50th time they’d had sex. Yes, really. There were T-shirts with charts citing the average number of times they’d done it per week (three), and how often they’d both ‘come! It was all so awkward I couldn’t handle it, and snuck out after a few drinks. Why?? Ellen*, 24, medical student, Liverpool

Caring and sharing

I’d been in my new job a few months when I found myself in the kitchen with my older, male boss. I started to make small talk, which culminated in him asking, «How are things between you and Matt*?» I thought it was a bit weird that he was asking about my boyfriend, but I went with it and started telling him about this massive argument we’d had on the weekend. I realised about five minutes in that he meant my colleague Matt. Way to make my boss feel uncomfortable!» Nat*, 23, sales executive, Cardiff

Foot in mouth

A mate wanted to introduce me to her new boyfriend, so she arranged for us all to go for lunch. I’d just been for a pedicure so we got on to the subject of feet. Trying to keep the chat flowing, I started going on about my toenail, which had only just grown back since I’d stubbed it months earlier. Not great dinner talk, I know, but her new man went green and let the table. Apparently he has a phobia of feet and my anecdote didn’t go down well with his steak. Hannah, 25, personal assistant, Sheffield

Paddy power

In Sainsbury’s with my boyfriend, I was returning to dump a pack of sanitary pads into our trolley when I saw my boyfriend had bumped into his brother. Discreetly slipping the pack into our trolley, it was only when we walked away that I realised I’d put them in the wrong one. Worse, my boyfriend’s brother then picked them up and waved them at me, shouting, «Hey, Alice, are these yours?» I was so mortified, I ran back, babbling, «They’re not actually for me, I prefer tampons — pads are really uncomfortable!» while they stood there looking really confused. Major overshare. My boyfriend still asks why I said that. Alice*, 28, teacher, London

Pole position

I do pole-dancing lessons to keep fit, and one day at a family party I was showing my auntie a video of my slick new move, where I spin around the bar, legs akimbo. I didn’t notice a load of my dad’s mates behind me watching it too — until at the end they all started cheering and making comments. I don’t know who was more embarrassed, me or my dad. Hayley, 22, blogger, London

I’m telling everyone

Having had a year-long sex drought, one Monday morning I excitedly sent an email to my workmate Sarah*, about some Saturday-night fun I’d had with a hot man. Unfortunately I sent it to the wrong Sarah — one of our clients — who replied politely explaining that, while she understood it probably wasn’t meant for her, I should double-check before I shared such information via email. Nicola*, 24, PR, London

Speechless

I was a bridesmaid at my best mate’s wedding and was sat at the top table enjoying the speeches. The best man -who’s also a good friend ofmine — was making everyone laugh with his. Then he started going on about the tradition of the best man getting with one of the bridesmaids, and announced that he’d have to choose one ofthe others as he’d already had a fling with me. Trouble is, nobody had known about it — including my ex, the bride and groom, and my dad, who were all sat in the room. I could’ve killed him! Nicki*, 27, writer, Bromley

Homecoming queen

I got very drunk on a night out in my hometown and ended up having a one-night stand on the beach with my childhood crush. On arriving back home, after tipping the sand out of my shoes I realised I’d ripped my sister’s dress.

Interview gaffes

High pressure + nerves = recipe for disaster

Bored meeting

I had a last-minute interview the day after a long-haul flight and I was really jet lagged. It was an all-day assessment too, and I was just about coping with the aid of plenty of coffee. That is, until the group presentations. So dull were they that I fell asleep — and was woken by one of the managers informing me my snoring was disrupting the assessment. Awkward. Lewis*, 27, website designer, Brighton

Prime example

I had an interview recently at an estate agent; it was all going smoothly and I was down to the final round when the interviewer asked me ifI was competitive. Obviously I said yes, but when she asked for an example, my mind went blank and I ended up blurting out something about the previous summer when my friend and I got competitive over this hot girl who was staying the same hotel. Surprisingly, I didn’t get the job. Charlie, 25, estate agent, Surrey

Badmouthed boss

I was interviewing to be an assistant to a company director, when he asked me why I’d worked for a smaller start-up in the past and not the other bigger firm in the city where I’d lived. I told him I’d heard bad things about the latter, and that the boss wasn’t pleasant to work for. I was stopped mid-rant by him informing me he had been MD there until recently.. Liam*, 27, marketing assistant, London

Suddenly I was ofered three interviews within the space of a week. I felt quite confident as I’d done loads of research on the companies, and in my first interview I recited masses of facts and figures. But at the end, my bubble burst when the director told me I’d been referring to the wrong company for the whole hour. Lesson learnt. George*, 23, marketing executive

Like this post? Please share to your friends: