The Distraction Monkey

Don’t let him get to you

SOME PILOTS ARE METHODICAL and thorough when doing a preflight inspection. Some are not.

And some, like me, find it difficult to stay focused and are always feeling the urge to get the preflight over with and get into the air. It’s like a monkey on your back. He appears when I’m first moving the airplane out of the hangar, jabbering away and urging me to just hurry up and get flying.

Usually, he confines himself to, “There’s never anything wrong with that,” or “Look! Everybody else is gonna take off now.” Although I’ve

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The daft heroes*

BRUCE WILLIS, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger are meeting their agent who wants to put forward some ideas for a new film.

We’ve got some scripts of classical composers. Who do you want to be?”

“Can I be Beethoven?” asks Willis.

“I’d love to be Mozart,” says Stallone.

“Who do you want to be, Arnie?” asks the agent.

Schwarzenegger replies, “I’ll be Bach.”

Out in the cold*

A COUPLE are on holiday in Spain with their young son. The only way to get any action’s to make him play on the balcony. When they finally get down to it, he

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There’s Gold in Them Thar Files

Anyone who has viewed any episodes of the various CSI, NCIS, or Low& Order shows knows that: (a) If something works, then you should keep using, tweaking, and reworking it; and (b) performing autopsies is really, really important because it enables you to do «a.»

You know those TV ads that say you’re sitting on piles of gold in your closets and drawers at home? And they go on to tell you that all your old, forgotten jewelry and silverware can yield big bucks to buy things you need and want today. Well, right

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Whether you are new to mastering or an experienced engineer, the following few pages could change your life. Here is THE complete guide to a process that will transform your sound.

Any article that claims to be ‘The Complete Guide…’ is worth starting with a bit of a history lesson, so let’s look back at the early days of this ‘dark art’. Mastering began as a means of transferring recordings from magnetic tape to various media, such as vinyl, while maintaining as much of the audio fidelity as possible. Vinyl, for example, cannot handle much bass without the risk of


The big squeeze

Whether you’re making lemonade or going on a juice cleanse, get ready to press, squeeze, and twist with this tangy lineup of juicers

1. JUICY READ. With its 250 recipes of healthy juices and smoothies, you’ll be whipping up glass after glass once you read this book. Squeezed: 250 Juices + Smoothies, P999, Fully Booked

2. STEEPER STORAGE. Catch bitter citrus seeds and store orange and lemon halves inside these lovely steepers. Silicon Tea Steepers, P99.75 each, Dimensione

3. ICONIC SIGHTING. Beautiful and intelligently designed, this award winning, Jetsons-like juicer is even easier to clean—just run it under the tap!

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MTV presenter Laura Whitmore hangs out with rock royalty every day in the name of work. We gave her a new job — to model this season’s beauty trends.


Aka makeup that means business. First you’ll need a second-skin foundation for that pretty porcelain effect. Next, use a black liquid liner to mark out the double eye line, followed by a gel or kohl liner to fill in the flick. Revlon makeup artist Aimee Adams, who created Laura’s looks for our shoot, explains,»As long as the lines on both eyes are symmetrical, the rest doesn’t off the start

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Zombies, Brains, and Adobe’s Creative Cloud

In April, Adobe’s Russell Brown brought his Art Directors Invitational Master class (ADIM) to Boulder, Colorado. As Adobe’s long-running «resident mad scientist» (and senior creative director), Russell has led ADIM in various cities since the 1990s, but this was the first ADIM after a five-year hiatus.

This year’s theme involved monsters, zombies, brains, and—the Adobe Creative Cloud. Amazingly, Ed and Marsha Edmunds, stars of the Travel Channel’s TV show Making Monsters, brought in their talented team from Distortions Unlimited to create some outrageously realistic props, including a giant head with its brain exposed, which


The ABCs of ZCIs

A zero-clearance insert puts your stock throat plate to shame.

Your tablesaw has a big mouth, and it may be getting you into trouble. Here’s the problem: The stock throat plate that came with your saw has a large opening to allow the blade to tilt. That’s good for making beveled cuts, but the wide opening means that there’s no underlying support for the wood fibers. So, the wood tends to tear away at the sides of the kerf as the blade teeth come crashing through the underside of the stock, leaving a nasty looking cut that comments rather profanely

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Matt foundation

Metallic nail polish

A fringe

Brow mascara

Grey eyeshadow

Jet-black eye pencil

Thickening mascara

Wine-red lipstick

Texturising spray


This season, beauty gets attitude!

If there was an enduring message from the A/W shows, it was how to get real! «The overriding feel was playful, not perfect,» says Maybelline makeup director Sharon Dowsett. «There were so many punk references. It feels more urban, less pretty»‘says Terry Barber of Mac. Brows are now a beefed-up natural shape (albeit not full-throttle -phew!). At Dior, lips were applied neatly, then the edges dabbed off to give a casual stain, but keeping

Continue reading THE 10 THINGS YOU NEED THIS autumn


On its face, you may think there’s nothing wrong with using a smartphone or digital media player to connect with some one who is nearby. But not being face-to-face has its consequences—some fairly obvious, some not so much.

The accident risk when taking your eyes off the road to type in text or read the screen exceeds the risk when driving while drunk. «There are simple limits to our multitasking abilities,» says Stacey Hanke, a Chicago-based management consultant. «We can’t safely drive a car while typing on a keyboard or reading a screen. The human mind simply isn’t capable of


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