As can be understood and to understand in specific situations that we discount itself? Here is the most common life situations and circumstances, as well as the resulting form of depreciation themselves and their lives.
Fact the first. We are letting strangers run our lives, determine our choices, our values and goals, allowing them to control themselves. We allow other people's negative opinion of us to be a priority, and most importantly the "true." We stick together internally so negative itself, which has been defined for us by others who would like us are "close", but somehow behave toward us like strangers. Yes, that's as foreign, alien to our heart and our soul, but we stubbornly do not want to notice and recognize. We are afraid of destroying his illusion to face the truth and thus cause yourself heartache. But they had to be.
We choose a more convenient and "easy", but, obviously, a false path for itself — it is a way to mix themselves with the permission of the dirt and negativity. After that, we ourselves begin to believe in their futility, perversity, mediocrity and other negative, which actually has nothing to do with us. We allow our "well-wishers" to break and reshape our lives according to their own negative. Gradually, we stick together, merge and fuse with the negative self-image, with the unfortunate chosen not by us life, with the false way, that we have defined our "close" strangers of his "good faith" in accordance with their "correct" vision Our "happy" life. With our acquiescence are people dressed in shabby clothes us unworthy poor dirty soul and body. And we humbly try on it in the hope that "Well, now, then we just accept and love can be …".
Break this vicious circle can only awareness of self-worth and the real motives of your "close" to strangers.
A theme is actually quite banal and painful at the same time:
— Take your place in my personal or professional life.
— Take away everything that rightfully belongs to you — family, relationships, dreams, business or personal reputation, a place in professional or personal life, different kinds of value.
— Eliminate you as a rival for the material and other benefits, attitudes or values.
— Brighten up, justify or cover up his worthless life — "Well, they say, not just me so unhappy and so bad live."
— Enhance and embellish themselves and their lives at the expense of your failure, weakness, humiliation or disgrace.
— You subjugate yourself and take advantage of you, your family, your personal life resources, wealth, power, and communication for their own gain.
— Fill up your vitality, samoutverzhdayas at your expense.
And many other reasons and causes.
Second circumstance. Also, what other people equate us to all sorts of negative, we and identify with it. This is another extreme form of depreciation of himself and his life. How does this happen?
A man under the influence of unresolved problems of the inner world he attracts any negative, equating himself to the negative, trying it on yourself or identifying himself with any development of the negative, which he only can see or imagine in the world. All that one sees around him bad, wicked, shameful shun unattractive, unclean and indecorous it, consciously or not, identify with them mercilessly mixing themselves with mud and vice. He constantly punishing yourself for humiliation nonexistent film, causing yourself incredible pain and suffering. In this state, the person is completely absent face self-esteem, he is not able to protect themselves and to demand respect for themselves and their needs, interests and values. Such a person can not go through life with dignity and use all their internal and external appeal, their strengths and talents for the benefit of themselves and others.
Another severe depreciation of himself and his life is the following third circumstance. Rather than deal with them, build their lives, achieve their goals, some people are engaged only in that just ringing left and right about their dreams, aspirations and values, plans, professional or creative talents, constantly talking about them all the details and the details his inner circle, and sometimes everyone. Thus, they wasted their life energy on not always loyal to them people and hope that they love the location and instead build their own future and the present. In reality, these "Gratitude" is a lot of students and they are happy to use your time, your energy and your talent creator. Many even become your "fans" and the regulars get-togethers at your home or office. Other happy to talk to you about their problems and concerns, feel free to listen to your advice and take your help, taking advantage of your kindness, and so mercilessly and irrevocably devastate your personal life resources.
However, after a while, you become more and more difficult to communicate with people. You feel tired and devastation. And this is just the beginning. You initiate a true lack of energy, apathy and laziness. You are not so much want to reach their goals or to realize their dreams. And your "grateful audience" disappeared somewhere and do not rush to comfort and support you. You feel frustrated and unhappy. Your life and dreams begin to crumble before our eyes, the relationship does not add up, resources are being depleted, and the loneliness and heartache growing. Moreover, soon you suddenly discover or accidentally find that your recent "grateful audience" was successfully carried out your dreams in your life for your own expense — at the expense of your creative energy and material resources.
Fourth circumstance and the following form of the depreciation of himself and his life — is an irresistible desire to have control over other people and their lives. Many of you probably love to teach other people's lives, give them advice, criticize and express his surprise at the fact that what these people are stupid and clumsy, unless they want to change their lives and see the correct one obvious solution to their life problems. So, many of you spend an enormous amount of personal time, resources, vital energy to change other people and the constant control of their lives. Many people do not notice that so deplete their own resources and use their life energy is wasted. But that's not the worst. The biggest disappointment awaits ahead. People you so carefully looked after, it is still to get their way, so it is convenient to them, taking with all your vital energy and other resources of your personal life. Then you get to them is not needed, and they put you off, sometimes even in rough form, or outright ignore you, cause you unbearable emotional pain and even more frustration. In fact you yourself have caused her anguish, because initially refused to deal with themselves and their own lives. You by choice prefer someone else's life's own interests, aspirations and values.
Circumstance fifth and the following form of the depreciation of themselves and their lives — to put it next to a lift or over a spiritually immature, full of internal negative energy or malnourished people who are spiritually asleep or who has overcome mental laziness. Danger also close friends and deeply with them, especially if their system of values alien to you, and you are on a different level of personal growth, because you get to them the energy, emotional and creative enrichment. In addition, the equal and fair relationship of energy metabolism in such a relationship can not be. Under such circumstances, it may slow down or completely stop your own spiritual development, and your life energy will be spent on the maintenance of unequal destructive relationships, to "assist in the development of another person," as you think. Although he personally you did not ask. You yourself have made this decision out of some of his personal motives. But many of you for some reason forget to ask yourself one important question in such circumstances — "And whether it's the man? Why does he stay with you? And you do what? ". If, at this very moment to stop and think about it before you can open the following picture.
You are afraid to build a relationship with the spiritual, and energy equals people, because few appreciate and love yourself, and surround yourself with, for whatever reasons, the weaker people who are not looking to develop and improve their lives on their own, or otherwise, because they and so happy with everything. These people just use you as a free source of vitality, creativity, relationships and opportunities, wealth, success and organizer guide their personal happiness. These people drink your life and steal your luck, and you are usually too late to realize it. After that experience the emotional shock, mental anguish and then depending on your personal power and state of mind, you will either find the inner resources to cleanse and restore, or fall into a spiritual sleep or mental laziness.
Instead of choosing a more powerful or equal to itself in the spiritual growth and the pursuit of personal development of people, you choose much less degrading themselves, are a dream in the mind or mentally lazy people who are engaged in opportunism to any situation of his life, thereby devaluing and myself and you.
Circumstance is the 6th and the following form of the depreciation of themselves and their lives — is the direction of attention, and thus his life energy to initially insignificant, unpromising, negative situation for you, events, relationships, plans, goals, projects and information. In other words, you are wasting your attention to the objects that are below your spiritual, personal, professional, or creative development, beneath all of what you already have in your life, or that are able to create in the future. Thus, you will miss your success, luck and inspiration, losing vitality and devalue themselves and their lives.
Fact the 7th and the last form of depreciation himself and his life — is allowing spiritually immature people or people in a spiritual dream to advise you, to teach you to live, to evaluate you or to direct the different areas of your life, personal development and spiritual growth. In doing so, you take responsibility for your life and cease to be the master of his life, thus, completely devaluing themselves and their lives.
An excerpt from the book "Waking Life" (Irina Olkhovskaya, 2012)