Children's fears — adult horror

Director of the Company on October 7 Free Theatre and the father of two children, Nicholas Khalezin posted on his blog a hard text in which teachers called "utilitarian, cowards and scoundrels." According to Nikolai Khalezin, "the country irreversibly zaglyblyaetstsa in alcohol intoxication and mental illness. And the reason for it, our teachers, who dutifully went to the election commission and action groups, and which perform every whim of the current government, having covered the phrase: "If I get fired, what I'm going to feed their children? .. "

Evaluation was Khalezin seems to me too hard, and its conclusions — provocative. However, it is impossible not to agree that teaching has long been the unofficial armies, and the teachers themselves — the soldiers who follow orders without question, be on guard of state ideology and counting the days until vysluzhanyh years. However, the reason for the election of such a fate is quite different, other than the desire to arms to defend their homeland. These people ruled by fear.

Fears help the child to adapt to the reality of

Meanwhile, fears are human at all stages of life. Children's fears may look kind of funny.

Boy"I am very afraid of bandits. Bandits without guns are not afraid, but I'm afraid the guns. With the guns did not see, but saw some undercover spies — twice. I got out of the bus and went home, but looked back on the bus, and then the driver mustache come off! And the second time I saw a very strange spy, very, very strange! It was a man dressed as a woman! "

Bandits without guns are not afraid, but I'm afraid the guns.

But little children are the most helpless in their fears and dependent adults. In such situations, the first to notice the danger mom. Here is what Natalia, who raises six year old son:

Natalia"What confused me — that he was afraid to sleep alone. In principle, it was not noticed before, because he had slept in the same room with her grandmother and was accustomed to the fact that it is always in the room with him there is someone. And when he went to school, it settled out in a separate room, and now he is the first, and with difficulty falling asleep, and in the middle of the night when he wakes up and realizes that he is alone in the room, he immediately runs to us, the parents not to be alone.

When I began to ask how and what happened to it any fears: he is afraid of what will be lost and not find him. But this is, in principle, the second fear, which he developed. The first — it was a few years ago — he was afraid of any ghosts or something. As I understand it, he once saw some program on TV. "

Elena has three children and a good experience in dealing with children's fears:

Helena"Every child I absolutely do not like the others. And if a senior somewhere dark and was afraid that, for example, the younger leaves at night to travel around the apartment, and absolutely nothing he does not care. But he is more afraid of what my mother once again run away somewhere and leave him with a babysitter. We nannies for her grandmother, and he is very closely followed, when my grandmother crosses the threshold. He then immediately tracks did not go mom dress. "

There is an interesting point: the Pope almost never been a source of information about their children's fears. Only at the beginning of the XXI century Australian dasledchytsy Marilyn Campbell and Linda Gilmore drew attention to the fact that studies of fears almost entirely based on data obtained from the mother. This study also testified that dads are afraid to express themselves as parents of children with psyhaematsyynymi problems and hardly find time for a visit with the child rehabilitation classes. However, the same study confirmed that the data from the mother and father are fundamentally different from and even be in conflict. Information from the dads can better understand the nature of the particular child's fear and make the process of overcoming it more effective.

How many times have the appropriate fear was called in response to the question: "What scares you" (interviewed 220 families).

  Category Number of References
Father Children Mother
1 Safety 104 86 110
2 Animals 38 81 26
3 Wound / death against himself 18 39 21
4 Public recognition 87 36 78
5 Monsters 14 26 13
6 Appearance 42 22 55
7 Forwards 7 19 15
8 Bodily injury / death to other 6 17 8
9 World Events 12 14 10
10 Natural disasters 12 10 11

Sami scaring children? Grow a coward and a scoundrel!

But Ms. Elena notes and important feature that, unfortunately, is still characteristic of the Belarusian education of children:

"Sometimes it's stronger than us, and we pull out of the subconscious some phrases. They're just digging yourself. Then, in hindsight, you realize that it can bring harm to children. But as they say, the word is not a sparrow, therefore, in principle, these fears die hard, after all. From generation to generation they will be transferred. Especially as strangers at a meeting with the child, which kapryznichae and does not listen to their parents, are also trying to help the confused mother so that scare, saying, "take away" or something like that. Children are afraid of the real, and that's when you see this is a real fear for children, then you start to think that every word has a meaning. "

Psychologists practices have their eyes on the children's fears. Here is what Svetlana Dyadova, psychologist, family center psyhaterapevt Julia Gusakovskaya-Starovojtovoj:

Dyadova"Parents are really concerned about the children's fears, but the fact is that it is often triggered by fears of children by
parents. Quite often, parents can bully children, especially small ones. Sometimes such things happen when a child may have something a little scared, but it could quickly forget about it. But parents, sometimes, more children are frightened and the child that fear is fixed and becomes more stable. Often, children have fears, when the parents themselves quite alarming: they are worried — "but do not go out there", "there is a big dog," "there is high", and all of this is passed on to children. "

What parents are afraid
Last year's study in Russia (polls) show that 45% of parents are afraid of drug and alcohol abuse, and children respectively believe that the greatest danger to children create drug dealers, drug addicts, pedophiles and other deviants, 30% of adults believe that the greatest threat comes from their peers.

Belarusian island of stability, surrounded by fear

The United States has for decades conducted a large-scale study of child and adolescent anxiety, which is compiled on the basis of the scale of fears. The results of this research are used by official government agencies. For example, in recent years it has recorded an additional 20 new species of anxiety. Among them — the fear of terrorist attacks, the participation in hostilities, a shot of the car, an imperfect shape.

Fear of the mirror.
U.S. Department of Health reports that 80% of girls 6-9 years of age have negative feelings associated with his figure, and say a lot of attention classmates and friends to this topic. Teenage boys are going through because of lack of sports figures and believe that the strength of the muscles and the amount of coverage of the breast is more important than knowledge, the ability to empathize and emotional stability.

And the answer is family and child psychologist dasledchytsy Hope Morozova the question whether such alarm Belarusian children:

Morozova"In my experience, rare cases when children's fears are dictated by the social aspect. Most children are afraid to walk through the dark streets, and adults are often afraid to walk themselves. Rather, it is the fear of attack by drunk teenagers or adults. But older teens may be talking about the end of the world, especially if they are in some groupings associated with the phenomenon of death, or even the history of various events. But as earlier feared war or the like, that at the moment the children are not afraid of any global events worldwide. "

Hope Morozov says about views on whether Belarusians can be called a "nation of cowards":

Morozova"The Belarusian experience of" if only there was the war, let it be different, but there is no war, "it is, of course, it does. Because Belarusians, some of their temperament, more peaceful, non-aggressive, some inert, perhaps. This affects the overall perception of the Belarusians, and the way they raise their children. "

But the fear of war was characteristic of Belarusian children a generation ago:

Helena"I remember that a few years I was worried about the nuclear bombing, I watched all the moratoria Gorbachev-Reagan. And my parents, in principle, did not know this, because I suspected that I was misunderstood. I hid it your own, fought with him in person. And my mother can, and to this day does not know that I had a problem. She thought that I just have a stomach ache. "

Of course, a good thing that our children, and we are not afraid of really terrible phenomena faced by people in other parts of the world. However, it izalyavanasts from the world of events keeps the fears of our society at the level of "monsters under the bed."

The land will disappear?
Habitat Heroes — the first global online network that brings together children with "ecological" worldview — initiated the poll in the United States. According to the results, one in three children aged from 6 to 11 years are afraid that the earth will not exist when they grow up. And half of the children surveyed believes that the environmental conditions of life on earth will deteriorate to such an extent that life on the planet will be very difficult.

We got no help from the older generation who still lives in the "if only there was the war," and the need to deal with this fear, which so diligently to support our national ideology.

We give our children in the hands of such a cowardly and powerless people, shifting them to your fear, anxiety and responsibility for children.

Morozova"In consultation boy came nearly seven years of age, who does not talk to me. And when we began to draw pictures of what it fears scare why he does not talk, he painted himself in such a little man-robot, whose mouth was taped, had big ears in his hands he had guns, bombs, and in his feet shot. He was naked, with all the signs of sexual organs. That's something I was very surprised and aroused great sympathy for this child of any reason itself became such a little robot who is afraid to talk. "

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