November 3, 2011 9:10
It all started much earlier, not in any one moment I would say — "Well, began." Just once, to my surprise, I began to notice that, despite the outward prosperity and open the prospect of social growth, in me more and more began to appear some acute dissatisfaction. Seemingly banal situations in our time. However, gradually began to take shape dissatisfaction in a simple but sharp questions for me. Their sharpness was so painful that I felt — no answers to these questions in life becomes torture and makes no sense. Then I remembered that I asked myself these questions is a long time ago, and since then they are invisibly present in me, slightly podnyvaya somewhere deep inside.
Who am I? Why was I born? Where is my place in life? What is my purpose? What is the meaning of what is called 'life'? …
For some, these questions may seem redundant, unnecessary or impractical. Someone thinks it's too deep philosophical themes, and leaves them to decide philosophy: "Let there specialists themselves sorted out, and then I will talk." Somebody thinks, "The less you know, the more sleep tight." But more often leave the resolution of these issues for later, when decide to "basic" vital task — "where will the money and all you can for them to buy." For me, these issues have become more and more vital. I felt them as a long-standing phenomenon that I am for a life after life. So I can not even tell when they are in me emerged. A long, long time. And all this time, "long", I felt that while I can not answer them, I can not live. I went into my childhood is with these questions. But, of course, then I did not know whether I have any right to them. Maybe I should just grow up, and then, in dealing with older people who probably already know all this, I can find out. But, as time went on, and the questions did not disappear. They become even more urgent. The adults were always doing something to your very important, and for some reason no hurry to share their experiences secret life.
The state in which I was, it was hard to call life, because I had the feeling that I have so far, everything is decided and actions of other people or any external, foreign to me the program.
At first, I felt vaguely some concern on what I do not know the rules of the game called "Life", which I somehow missed. So if you want — or not, you need to play — if you want to live. While still quite inexperienced, had to be guided by the values that most people recognize. I found that, in general, people of my age for some reason they want to pursue higher education. I got it. Then I saw that they all want to get a job in their field. There have already appeared values such as a prestigious job, position, career, salary. Not understanding why this is necessary, but, having no alternative purpose, I found a job in his specialty, quickly began to get more and more senior positions. This process sometimes I even exciting. By achieving these goals, feeling their taste and not experienced at this meeting, I began to doubt them, and not only them, but also the competence of the people that I offer these goals. Dissatisfaction grew. I looked at the way in which I was in life, and saw it completely — from the beginning to the point where I was, and then he looked into the future, where it leads. And this way I do not like. Did not like. Wafted from him dying. This was a direct path to the grave for me, which is not a body, and not the post. I saw how I got the following position and increase in salary, then another position or even a degree. This for me was not just nothing pretty, but thinking about it, I give up, started nauseated, and I felt that a few more steps on this way — and I just will not. There was a feeling that I was on the road footworn some other people, and in this way clearly felt very uncomfortable, viscous, suffocating state, which will only increase until the end of the way, if I had not come down. I realized that the state of deadlock and death did not come out now, but much earlier — when it still seemed that this is "life." Then most of the people confirmed to me that "life — it is a difficult thing." But now a "life" was not just a "hard thing", but I would have called a "dead-end thing," which for me was just unbearable. This condition could not drown out anything. From it you can only temporarily distracted by some momentary pleasures: food, movies, meeting with friends, sitting in a cafe — all the things that most people consider a normal life. I saw that because most people live. It was for me a startling discovery. It turns out that most people live as well as I — completely unaware of who they are and why they live. And few people concerned about this. Everybody is trying to pretend that all of them just fine. And those who are timid yet somehow trying to raise the subject, found in the eyes of most perplexing: "Can such things at all interested in normal, healthy people?"
I saw the reason why people drink alcohol, take drugs, tend to have a variety of sexual relationships, by all means try to get more money. All this for at least a moment to free your spirit of hard prison his ignorance, silence hopelessness, frustration, or at least replace the real sense of life variety of sensual pleasures.
It was a turning point in my life in which I lived every moment in a state of euphoria — not because I understood the essence of life, but because he knew — "you can not live like this, and something urgently needs to change." Now I know what I want. Now, I know from what you can push. You only know where to go. At this point the authority of society and all its value to me collapsed. I was left alone in front of him as before the open by unknown, which is now a pleasant light of hope shone through the open door of the knowledge of dark rooms of my ignorance.
I started looking for answers in books, hoping that in the millennia of human experience certainly can explain something to me. But books spawned in me even more questions. I started to get involved in various doctrines, and sometimes I even thought that I understood everything about life. But it bothered me that my life from this knowledge has not changed.
How so? It seems that I understood it all, but still went on to make all the same mistakes as before, and a sense of meaninglessness is still not left me. I have not changed under the influence of what is learned. I realized that I was in illusions about my spiritual growth. I was in a deception and a lie — their own lies, taken as the truth. Finally, the time came when I got tired of thinking and talking about one, and live very differently. I'm tired of being in deceiving yourself some intellectual concepts. I wanted to live the truth, truth, knowledge, and not talk about them.
But how? How are you not to cheat?
… I have to drop everything that is not me and not my thing I do not feel all that I do not live in reality, to understand where, in what the real state of the Spirit, I am at the moment.
I must admit that what I am, what I do know, without embellishment and pulling on the desired reality.
I have to be very simple, even easier, even easier … to feel what I do not doubt, and what I do live. And then, from this simple experience, have already started to move towards more knowledge.
To be a simple, become very simple.
What I do know about myself, no doubt? Most of all, I only know that I exist.
Do I really exist? — Yes, I am. No doubt I am.
I exist! I really feel that I exist.
I do not only exist, but I'm not doing anything to exist.
Incredible! Something besides me carries my existence. I can not even get out of it at will.
Obviously — this "something" is some kind of force that gives me existence and all with me.
What kind of power that can give me a living? Why I had absolutely no idea? How silly! I need to know it right now.
Unlimited benefits! It is in me from the inside, from the center of me. There is something very good, which can be.
My existence — the great blessing for me!
BENEFIT my existence overwhelms me and breaks out of gratitude for what I have. Simply IS. Without the "I". "I" attached to the "IS." The "I" is itself means "IS."
Power of my existence does not depend on what I think about it, what are my plans or philosophy. It fills me, structures and provides all that I need to survive.
I have to trust this Power!
I want to open up and trust her completely. Without it, I can not even lift a finger. It drives my feelings, thoughts, emotions, and fills the body with force, including all the processes in the body, regardless of my reasoning and opinions. This is the greatest reality in which I live. What could be more real than this?
The deeper, the more concentrated and pure is my existence.
In the very depths of pure light. Light — this is living!
No analysis. Just dive attention in 'I am' and deeper and deeper …
Concentration, Essence, Essence, Existence, Light Awareness.
In existence is everything.
Now feeling "is" open to me always. At any time I can go in and take what I need. This Power has opened to me his main secret — existence is present at all levels of life, in all beings, and at each point of the universe. "I am" — a reference point against which all knowledge is revealed.
Now my main occupation — shades of the force of existence at all — not only in itself but also in the different events and in other people. Some people deliberately use the Power of Existence. These people I have met are not many. Each such meeting, I believe a great success. These people are special. They exude a wave of Life and Light. I think their own teachers. Although they did not know about it. They did not give me any "Psychometric" about life. Meetings with them are always very ordinary, and yet it seems that nothing is happening. But I was filled and teaches their presence. More precisely, the presence of these forces Existence — Power of Spirit. Thanks to the experience of communicating with them gradually changed something in me, something changes in my thinking and perception. May be changing my attitude to life, or something awakens, something that was always in me, but asleep. Perhaps most of all I awaken what I see real people, the power of the Spirit which is incredible. Therefore they respect any manifestation of existence. They — the embodiment of knowledge, of the Light that I see in myself, in the "IS." I see the possibility of a large power of the Spirit. Not in theory. Such people do exist. I looked at them and see them — the ancient representatives of Eternity. I listen to them the simple words of life that might seem trivial to me, had not heard from their lips. But they fill the usual words of highly concentrated essence, significance and subtle force that can not be understood, but you can only feel it.
For some time, I was constantly chasing one question. It was very interesting to see how the feel of these people from different countries and cultures, making them look like something? Something in them there is, so I can take them to a certain category of people.
I say "these people" because they do not know any other word that would have marked them somehow. The word "enlightenment" seems too old tired to be so called. But they just carry the Light.
What they like is subtle and at the same time very pleasant to me, friendly and family?
This question always arises in me, very subtly but persistently. But the answer is always slipping away, which further prompted him to look for. And at some point, I found my answer.
All of them are very simple. Especially their eyes. Clear, open, bright, lively, happy and simple, like a child's eyes. I look into their eyes and realize that their wisdom is not that what they say. Their wisdom is in simplicity. Their wisdom is not the result of study in school or college, reading, watching television, and the like. They went to this state through the silence, purity and simplicity.
Finding the answer, I consciously observe and enjoy them this pleasant feeling.
I look at myself and realize that I built, and so now I can not fully know what they know. I want to learn from them. I want to learn just simplicity. Now this feeling for me — the thread, which I keep my travel life. And every time I'm faced with a choice, I check to see where the thread is called "Easy."
… Just pure attitude.
Gradually, everything falls into place. How much of all that hard in my life. From this it is necessary to quickly get rid of. I do this and do not live. Therefore, do not give up-what. This is something empty, invented, not even invented by me. Some concepts (interesting, but invented by different people), exercise (authority for someone, but not for me), the principles of (the meaning or purpose of which I do not understand), popular life goals (which are imposed, and I do not care) , trivial concerns and thoughts. Even if it's all good, and maybe even good for something, but if it is not easy, I do not need …
Now the state of simplicity helps me find inner silence. Over time, it became apparent sense of silence, even in noisy environments. It turns out that the silence had never left. She silently present at conversations and noise. But is it worth all shut up, silence speaks. It is always present, even in the very sounds, as the gaps between the vibrations. And if you look closely, listen to the vibrations, you recognize that this is the very vibrant silence.
All — Silence all — Easy …
I started on the path of Silence and simplicity in order to find a simple, quiet knowledge.
By Oleg Bokach