How are the children in homosexual families?


Dumbledore was gay

Introducing "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" in the United States, Harry Potter author JK Rowling announced that Albus Dumbledore has always been a gay man.

The first years of independence, we live in a society that is entirely devoid of fear. This short time impulse of freedom was so strong and fit, even years of Lukashenka's regime could not drown out the cravings of people to say what they think they should, and do not hide in front of other nature. Then, in the mid-90s, there were the first Belarusian gay community, clubs and periodicals. They formed the people who are not afraid to admit — I'm different, I'm homosexual. However, the Belarusian society, as well as many others, sensitive to any display inakshastsi.

Many recalled that he knew same-sex families, but it is very difficult to find people who would openly agreed to discuss the essence of their relationships and share their problems. The reason for this one — fear. And I am also afraid to hurt his companion, so the names of the characters and the voices of the majority of the program changed.

Nevertheless, there are people who believe their personal invocation to protect the rights of sexual minorities. The head of the human rights project "GeyBelarus" Sergei Androsenko tells how to live Belarusian homosexual families:

Sergei Androsenko

Androsenko"Despite the fact that same-sex marriage legalized in Belarus — there are no laws that would regulate such relationships — gay ligament in Belarus is. And some even dare to have children. Of course, this is partly female couples. The percentage of such families is very small — they can, tens throughout Belarus. But it is now — in the post-communist Belarus, and only in 1994 to decriminalize homosexuality. "

Belarusian society is rigidly pursuing individual homosexuals who prefers to ignore homosexual families. By Irina:

Irene (name changed): "There was a time when our daughter was born. When a child is born, come sisters and doctors on patronage — inspect the place where the child lives, in what conditions, and the like. That's when there was a moment when asked who we are and what we do. We have given this question a definite answer, although medical records still recorded something like "relatives on a line," sister or something like that. "

These families are faced with the most mundane family problems, familiar to all.

Belarusians are raising their children to jokes, ridicule towards homosexuals.

Androsenko"So couples constantly have to lie. If they are sending their children to school, a kindergarten, someone is sister to all who girlfriend. This is already a problem. Take the child out of kindergarten — and can not pay. From the school of daycare — too. Responsibility for the child in a hospital or in a hospital. And the baby is growing — and with him forced to work, he should not say that he has two moms, all around, so it does not become a victim of jokes and insults. Because Belarusians educate their children on the jokes, ridicule towards homosexuals. Well, no one is safe from the fact that if someone gets to the hospital with a serious injury or die, in the case of a same-sex partner of a second family will not be able to take the right of the child to education, and to be sent to an orphanage. "

The first family, in which the theme of homosexuality — a parent. Admit to his parents — the first step to ensure that open to the public. Here's how it describes Igor Ivanov:

"My mother was able to relatively quickly to talk to me about my sexuality and my life. But it took her a very long time to start talking openly to others that my son is gay, and that she did not hesitate. One of my friend Brit, a theologian and a very nice man when I told him about it, he laughed a little bit of it all and said, "You'll see that your mother would be a great defender of gay men as a result." And in a sense, it so happened, because my mother was the only one of the parents who came out to Minsk Gay Pride last year. "

The legal status of homosexuality in the world.
Shades of blue — same-sex marriage in varying degrees, are permitted.
Orange — a fine, red — the conclusion, brown — the death penalty.

What mother feels when a child recognizes that a homosexual orientation?

Tatiana (name changed): "I went through it, and all will survive, I think. Well it happened: someone who was born with one arm, one leg of someone born. But it's your child, it is impossible to strike out of life. Well, let the other moms and dads somehow come to terms with it, understand and talk. I believe that if problems will be less. But all this must be open to both children and parents to understand each other and trust each other. "

But that said twelve year old sister is a guy who for several years does not hide his homosexuality:

I'm even proud of my brother.

"I'm even a little proud of my brother, he's such an unusual, not like at all. Very good, very good to me. At first it was something unusual, and then I was used to. When he first went to all these tips, I'm worried, my mother said that it is dangerous. I do not quite know what it is, and then became a suspect, and my mother said. "

How to explain to the children that their loved ones are not like the others? Mrs. Tatiana had to decide for itself how to tell her daughter about the difference between a brother from other people:

Tatiana"Of course, very afraid, because somewhere it can get — the same media friends know somewhere, sometime teacher — as different people have. And it may somehow affect it is not very good.

I saw that she realizes she has started some questions for me be. I just explained to her that there are boys and girls among us, here are the boys who like boys, I say, and the girls like girls. She says, "What are they, motherfucker out there, crazy?" I say, "No, this is normal." And she said that no conclusion, everything else after you yourself understand. I think she's more no one could say. "

The oldest American university professor Clark Abby Goldberg wrote the book "Lesbi and gay parents and their children." In it she analyzed how to relate to children in same-sex families, researchers and society, and made its findings:

Abby Goldberg

Goldberg"Previously, many of the researchers believed that children who are brought up in homosexual households, just face more psychological problems compared to those with heterosexual parents. Among these issues were called
low social adaptation, depression, conduct disorder. And this is supposedly because they can not identify with a specific gender — girls do not understand what is to be a girl, and the boys — what it means to be a boy. But my research has confirmed that these children are all well — they are open to communication, they are warm and friendly relationship with their parents, they normally developed adaptation skills. And these are the main results of my research. "

Not only for our society is still problematic, according to families of same-sex unions. However, in this regard can only listen to themselves members of these families. The story Irina and Galina:

Irene"We identify ourselves as a family regardless of whether it is recognized by the State and the society in which we currently live. But what's different? We're a family. Of course, gave birth to consciously, of course, wanted this child, of course, fussed over every movement to save this baby to be born healthy. In order to date raise this child, so it was a happy and we were happy. "

Galina (name changed): "We're both mothers. We will not deceive a child. We already define themselves as mothers. And not only us, but also grandmothers and grandfathers. "

For same-sex couples in the Belarusian problem — the possibility to have a baby. In richer countries, especially where legalized same-sex marriage, such families are turning to the technology of in vitro apladnennya or adopt children. In Belarus the opportunity to educate their children are extremely lesbi-family and they mostly have to use traditional methods. Adel says:

Adel (name changed): "I was never married, very much like a child. He immediately knew. He has his own family. We will not deal with the time not even seen each other once. And he never even interested in what happens to us. "

Most people do not even realize that the same-sex couples are raising children. However, Ms. Goldberg has collected in his book, a lot of evidence that confirms the following:

These children are more open, more tolerant, more capable of compassion …

Goldberg"I think the children of same-sex families get a deeper and more significant understanding of what is gender identity. They are not pushing hard rule about their sexuality, so they feel a lot more comfortable and free. They have already incorporated an understanding of what it means — "to be different, not the same as everyone else." My research confirmed that these children are more open, more tolerant, more capable of compassion, and not only in those situations when it comes to sexuality, and that their overall social feature. They are tolerant to people of another race, another nationality, they have the ability to communicate effectively with others. "

Abby Goldberg found that girls raised in lesbi-families are more likely to choose professions that are traditionally considered masculine — for example, a lawyer or a doctor. These professions have chosen 52% of women of lesbi-families versus 21% of women who were brought up in heterosexual families. At the same time, 95% of boys chose "male" professions, no matter what family — homosexual or heterosexual — they were raised. Adults raised in same-sex families, more likely to choose the activities associated with the implementation of social justice, and more contact with homosexuals.

According to Abby Goldberg, there is no reason to worry about the children of homosexual marriages:

Goldberg"I categorically deny that these children are missing something. This is especially true opinion that they have little contact with the opposite sex as their parents. For example, if they are raised by two moms, that they do not see the men. This is just a laugh. My study of lesbian families found that children in them have a wide range of contacts with men — that's uncles, grandparents, neighbors, teachers. This is the same tire contacts as children of heterosexual family. "

Natalia Vasilevich, editor of the "Church", said that the lack of Belarus laws that govern the existence of same-sex families, harms society as a whole. However, this issue can not be solved explicitly:

Natalka Vasiljevic

Vasiljevic"Conservative Christian churches very hard against it. But there is a liberal church who say that these families are not errors.

The greatest conflicts were related to the fact that Catholic adoption agencies obliged to ensure equality of marriage — homosexual and heterosexual — to give children from Catholic orphanages in homosexual families. These shelters felt that it violates their rights. "

Sergei Androsenko explains what you need to do to same-sex families feel like full-fledged components of society.

Androsenko"I think we have to be sincere and honest. Both the church and the state should stop hypocrite and pretend that we do not, and try to modify. I think there comes a time when you need to recognize people for who they are and listen to the truth. Business as usual is not worth it, not talk about them. I encourage homosexual families go to LGBT organizations, do not be afraid to try and defend their right to a family. All the more so in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights states that everyone has the right to a family. "

In order to understand the other person, it is enough to just shut up and listen to it yourself. We often say that everything that we do, we do for the sake of a bright future for our children, but very rarely measure our actions this good for the baby. If we all come to the same issue of legalizing gay marriage, it is good for children should be the main argument.


children, gays

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