Results of the week — 2012. I ask the nerve to leave the room

The end of the year. "Snake" crawling all closer, "Dragon" back backs, and means it is time to take stock of the "Dragon" results — results in 2012. We offer our readers opus on what actions the passing of 2012 shocked the world and most of its inhabitants, of which one of these residents shocked a bit more than all the others. Perhaps we will not take responsibility, and to build on the importance of action, because the significance of — the concept is very personal, and therefore we offer to each of you personally determine themselves with places any actions taken separately and if you want to add those announcements retreating year, about what to siih revelations are not mentioned.

So begins a tale that gave us the Dragon 2012.

About the anti-corruption "eggs"

As you know, dragons (lizards, lizards and others) — being, "not suffering" teplokroviem, and therefore more steps, the brightest are particularly cold-blooded, which, but calmly narrate a very, very difficult.

Get at least the most high-profile internal Russian Event 2012 — resignation of Defense Minister Anatoly Serdyukov. It would seem, and that, in fact, such an extraordinary result? Well, the president took a decision on the resignation of the military bureaucracy — is worth out of this to make a political sensation? Over in other countries: the resignation of the Minister at least some — it is completely non-personal. But we are living completely in "other" countries, and in their homeland. And no matter what we bureaucratic resignation — is like unto a bolt from the sky. Maybe it would not thundered so if asked by Anatoly Eduardovicha his post numbers that way May 7 (day or earlier day or later), but … man deigned to linger. Tunic his gentle lady's hand ironed again, polish shoes, tie tied, and more delicate lips uttered: "Even though not think! You are us, Anatoly E., still amiss! "And yet, apparently amiss … At least until the beginning of November leaving a leap year. And in November — rushed soul to heaven …

The country has awakened from some tectonic unrest. Russians began to wonder, why would this earth tremors began. It turned out, Anatoly Serdyukov was sitting suprotiv president and fidgeting in his chair, nervously tapped his heels on the polished floor "Farewell of Slav" (and farewell "Slav" sovereign El'kina, by the way, too). The country and the world of communications journalists and representatives of the RF IC learned that the Ministry of Defense in recent years gradually transformed into the office, "Barnyard", and some employees of this office to allow themselves to adore items not essential uveshivaya their walls, put to sleep fingers, ears, ramming into a desk drawer, under the bed and bedside tables.

In Moscow began to roll out the "black crows", walking people in the civilian with a typically knitted brows and stone-faced, which seemed to be read as "a thief should sit in jail."

It seemed, that's it — began. Began extensively announced the fight against corruption scourge. But … We somehow forgotten that the dragon — not being viviparous. He first lays eggs. That aside, not quite in season (in November), but still. And according to biorhythms (for example, from the island of Komodo Dragon), pending the eggs will result only in 8-8.5 months. Scamper to the estimates, if deported to Anatolia Eduardovicha free bread in November, and when you consider that at the same time corruption "shkandal" began to gain momentum inflated, in full accordance with the biorhythms, everything should be resolved under a "plus 8 November 2012 — 8.5 months is July 2013. " And here we are, you know, waiting for a New Year gift. Early, gentlemen, sooner … But by July of next year yet oh-oh-oh how many events happen. Anti-corruption eggs can freeze in the cold, or baked in the heat, in the end, in general, be someone to eat without bread and salt …

Hallelujah, we are in the WTO …

Year 2012 has presented the new status of the Russian Federation. Since August, we have taken a strong position 156 between Samoa and Vanuatu. What did it for the rating itself, in which some detractors Russian Federation have prepared a place between the said island country? Neuzh it — top anti-corruption activity? — May wonder active reader. But this is not a rating, and the serial number acceptance into the World Trading Company. Yes, yes. Friends, we are now in the WTO. Some even said: deep in the WTO …

18. Our long-term home of 18 years was in this exciting international company, which is rumored to those same enemies of ours with you, was created only in order to promote the products on the world market in the form of planetary giants overgrown utterly companies. But we all know that it is not so … In fact, the WTO — is indeed the citadel shopping humanism that (citadel), even grandmothers-Summer Resident of Ryazan, Tula or provinces will allow output to the global market-grown agricultural products.

And it so happened that we were accepted into the WTO at the end of the summer — the Harvest time. Grandmother, tying scarves, already, was willing to head out to the agricultural fair in New-york or Sydney, or by purchasing a ticket for the insurance, or the funded part of the pension. But … These 6 acres at one point approached Gazelle-native numbers. Summer Resident loaf that the WTO comes specifically to their house. But only Gazelle "of the WTO" license plate, for some reason, were Dagestan …

Strong guys offered to agricultural producers referred to by the "three" for a kilogram of potatoes on the grounds that the new WTO-shnymi rules and while they digested that for such draconian rules in the Year of the Dragon, collection loaded in the Gazelle and vzmetnuv clubs rural dust decline towards throned. There we begin the WTO, the WTO there, apparently, and ends …

And in general, they say that only some years after 18 of the WTO on us manna will fall. What type will be the manna have no one does not specify, but it certainly would be better than at the moment. Pronounced "be!" Means will be! After all, we all promises made!

Good sacristan

2012 gave us a concert with a sequel. Cover certain parts of the country at the end of 2011 to draw the protest movement spread even to the Year of the Dragon. In February, the country was given to hear and behold the group, which has decided that you can not only engage in intercourse group in museums, fountains run on a negligee in the presence of kids and stuff for themselves, fresh frozen foods to the places only a single demonstration that in a number of prescribed cane drugs, but also to trample gryazyuka Orthodox faith. Group of 3, apparently unsatisfied either spiritually or on a physical level, God forgive me, girls, stormed the main Orthodox church in the country, and showed that the majority of ordinary people has caused the desire to spit in the tele-screen or meet with " singers "and bring to life the motto" Feel our love "with a strong willow rod in his hands.

After the "concert" ladies decided to close, though, in principle, the same sacristan (the term ROC), who talked about the "defiled — not defiled" could just pack a day "speech" has a couple of podklyucharey and without any place to call incident of law enforcement officers pour songstress to the places in which they were pleased to tuck kits brawn … No, we naturally assume that such actions on the part of the clergy would not have looked quite as Christians, but here is where the Orthodox world, and many speak out so hardly sympathetic to the sacristan podk
lyucharyami condemn would come from. Yes there … Who would condemn in general about these unmet guitarist know? .. Well, you know, came out of the temple with a couple of bruises on Myagenko places — prayed intensely, fell, floors, slippery … And then the camera their "collaborators" with the same active prayer hit the ground, well, povyletali of their flash drives …

But everything went according to the liberal rails, as we know, these rails on rovnenky terrain is not withdrawn.

The era of "Sing for PR», «pee for PR», «Peel for their own." In the end, the two "virgins" were given a realistic time frame, and the third was sentenced conditionally released and back home in the courtroom. The verdict this time hurt feelings of unbelievers (especially in nothing believers), and the wave of "human rights" movement cleared the world … Madonna, Sex Pistols, McCartney pronounced that they "did not hear anything, but the sentence condemning" …

For such is the very Madonna, a notorious betrothed us human aging b., Slightly was not sentenced in St. Petersburg to nadraivaniyu deck cruiser "Aurora", but she managed to slip out just right out of the hands of the deputy Milonova Themis and St. Petersburg, and, shaking the old days on the road, has left in a more tolerant point of the globe …

The system administrator and her army

A wave caught "vociferous" representative once an organization that likes to light in the presence of third-party Teles. It's about, you've already guessed themselves, FEMEN. Breastfed Anna Hutsol, which in turn has someone and something nourished, substitute your breasts then the falling crosses, then the gloves riot, then the hands of employees of district election commissions. Mammary glands Stavan to Patriarch Kirill, the Egyptian Embassy in Sweden, before the French police and French opponents of same-sex marriages. All, except the last, treated to a demonstration of breasts, which act on something quite relaxed, but the French girl's breasts to feast on, and they thoroughly walked fists on Myagenko places representatives of FEMEN, impaired a fact not only myagenkie space, but also persons and reputation. In the mass could be heard shouting that if more of these on the streets of Paris without underwear clown will see that everything — the Sabbath! Instead of wreaths on their heads put on chamber pots together in the content.

And yet, after such soldiers of the Hutsol almost all figured out and understood. Some even decided to engage with evrofeminizmom and carry out actions within the boundaries of their own apartments for the curtained windows. So after all is calm … That's just bad luck — sponsors such "silent protests" obviously do not like … And they are pushy sponsors — chest forward and uttered the barricades means necessary to take the salute (a wreath on his head) and the rush to execute … So the duty wreaths reluctantly, but again put on his head with quiet curses in the address of the employer, "Yes Schaub you die, Hutsol-Shmutsol …"

Sentenced to two-bedroom …

Year of the Dragon is not remembered by one court, and far not only in Russia. Many were watching, what a penalty in Norway will receive a smiling and satisfied a killer of 77 people, Anders Breivik — the son of a diplomat and honey sisters. World deeply struck by the sin of the Norwegian citizen, to which a child or father-diplomat was very diplomatic and smacked the belt as necessary, or the mother-nurse from whooping cough and mumps cured incorrect medications.

About the terror attack in Oslo and a mass shooting on Utoya Peninsula, also on the degree of guilt of the sovereign Breivik Norwegian tribunal reasoned few months. During this period of time we were able to behold the murderer and in a tuxedo and suit the brave officer, and laughing, and bring forth tears, and with a spectacular beard and clean shaven. Did you manage to hear the emperor Breivik in court extensively talked about his mission in this world, how should society be it purely on personal views.

Many began to think that 33-year-old sovereign tribunal generally found insane and send a few years to breathe the sea air in a special resort for those who are "a little" lost his current path. But the Norwegian Themis went even further! For the killing of 77 people by Anders Breivik Norwegian tribunal sentenced to 21 years already in prison with the possibility of renewal. Oh sentenced that cold-blooded killer is now "dragging out a miserable existence" in a three-chamber consisting of the office to work, bedchamber and gym, complaining about the low ceilings and forced the daily cleaning of the teeth and under the care of calling the conditions of its own content truly sadistic. And it is, indeed, more than a terrible punishment! And in general — solid sadists these employees Norwegian prisons. That, you know, fish neprozharennoe prisoner served, the coffee digest, the bike grease forget. At the end of the insolent monsters! Unless there so you can suppress the emperor, who was a bit not give freedom to the entire population of the earth.

Yes, those beasts and breyvikofobov now help out only one — mandatory and momentary amnesty for "arrow" to the right to carry guns and personal orders at ironed suit. Well, or at least let the fish is fried in olive oil, that heartburn is not a prisoner tortured …

Ear for Mitt

And what is the most democratic elections in the other hemisphere? Failed! Failed! Another would be failed! Election on Tuesday — this is the most it. According to the "box" showed the world stubbornly 2-candidates, and were (oh my) besides other … And you've heard their names? Oh, lucky for you Big! The most democratic in the world of American TV did not complain about the sovereign Johnson and Ms. Stein airtime, and of their role in the debate were the breaks between advertising aggregates cat litter and dishwashing detergent after the consumption of it in food fried turkey.

Americans voted cheerfully: in laundry and hot dogochnyh, in the offices of family therapists and societies Narcotics Anonymous. Foreign observers, usually in the U.S., followed the election on TV or from a distance shot rifle M-16. Activists of the OSCE ODIHR, which decided to go for the sake of enthusiasm to the polls in the U.S. closer experienced for themselves, which means fist sheriff. In general, the election of all the world's population has recognized the progressive democratic. What else? .. Demos has once again won …

But the poor guy Mitt lost. Lost not just a presidential candidate and the most beautiful country in the world of justice. Loss bishop of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Lost the father of five sons. Loss exemplary spouse, which the South American equivalent Russian Investigative Committee has never managed to get caught in the apartment of a third party ladies of early afternoon … Lost people, hot anxious neuvvyazkami each of us — the Russians.

Republican flags at half-mast, the U.S. national anthem plays in working towards …

In the heavy, as is common among political show business of the United States, the fight he clung to his jacket Obama struggled to call for help even the most democratic of the head, from Zbigniew Brzezinski to "prisoner of war" by John McCain. He and his entourage was confused by the excitement of the Republican font in the title of the country: Amercia instead of America (sorry no USSR instead of the USA). He knew exactly who the main enemy is the Stars and Stripes of the country.

But, as his supporters fondly called in Russia, Mitya still failed. And in this regard, in November, the Dragon year in Russia, and was walking on Brighton saying: "Mitya losing — soup asks …" So, you could
be thrown off for a couple of bream …

Taking into Russian, a guest will be!

In 2012 in Russia rapidly became open a discussion on the question of how to deal with migration, both internal and external. Our legislators, as happens from time to time (though somewhat less often than in our brotherly Ukrainian Parliament), then thrown into the hot and cold. After the Government had created the ministry responsible for the processes of the Far East, some MPs have attended to the problem of undeveloped areas and almost immediately offered to open the borders of the Russian Federation for the 50-70 million people overseas. Like, specifically so Kyrgyz, Uzbek, Tajik, Moldova, Turkmenistan, and others will help out Russian Far East from the inevitable decay and other Train … ts, in accordance with the views taken separately deputy, alternates should be focused on the BAM, Trans-Siberian Railway and other highways in side of Primorye, Amur region, and Koryak to make even from Magadan paradise.

However, his deputy same initiative was destined not to support, after Vladimir Putin that we need only skilled immigrants and Russian immigrants, and personnel from the category of "Bring-fetch", "stuck-fallen off" for us and for themselves scarce. And that the "highly qualified" spetsy feel that they belong to the place of Russian culture, it was decided to test the knowledge of the Russian language at a basic level.

Oh, and how this exam is not found fault those who decided to capitalize on the vast Russian expanse, changing the native village or Kishlak on "cozy" basement flats or sentry boxes of metal profile in the Moscow suburbs. Like, my friends, yes it is a real outrage on the part of Russian authorities. We, you know, came from Mother Russia knee raise: the facades of four-storey townhouses obkladyvat businessmen and officials, to build swimming pools in the cottages for traffic police officers, deputies or assistants regional legislative assemblies, and you roll the barrel here … Yes, for what are ordinary Tajik guest workers to recognize the language of Tolstoy and Esenina, because he is in the capital's dorm without his knowledge can create. Maybe he is without the knowledge of Russian with the guardians of law and order and the staff of the FMS to "Belmesov-denominations" versions of conditions.

In general, the exam was given a hostile reception, official Moscow is accused of violating human rights, the new imperial ambitions and a reluctance to cross Innovative economy. Just look what want: that poor-prebedny guest-worker also in the Russian treasury funds paid for the exam! Help! The arbitrariness! Rob!

"And the" grandmother "this marriage was carried away …"

And at about the same time took possession of the central region of Russia unbridled joy of Dagestan, Chechnya and Ingushetia weddings. Citizens who put off by himself, looked at how the registration numbers flashed North Caucasian republics of tuples of the cars, the price comparable to the price of the 10-ka Polga requiring repair of apartment buildings in Gudermes, Kizlyar and Nazran. Shone not only car number, and highly polished "guns" from which flushed Caucasian guests were firing in all directions under raznosyaschiesya from the Manege Moscow Ring Road to the solemn sounds of lezginka. Traffic police officers to calls immediately the brakes car drivers head tuples reacted relevant figures clasped fingers of hands-free driving. The fingers of the other hand (also free driving …) has already gained great-uncle's room on the strip mother grandfather's wife, who according to party lists was held in Parliament in December last year.

Grandpa, received "messedzh," has wound up its "blue bucket", and raced in 11 metropolitan Reds signals of traffic lights and 8 double solid by the band allocated to the movement of public transport, before that the old mountain customs drained to the bottom of a half-liter "horn" whiskey … In the end, saying that to any intimate relations with law enforcement officers to stop the train, he is ready to go straight on Tverskaya Street, a relative gave the green light to continue the marriage, and detained for shooting promised to set things right.

Ultimately, and this wedding, and many others continued to sing and dance to compel the inhabitants of the city of involuntary crouch shots of legally registered to his wife traumatic weapons … Young walked in the restaurant, where under the guise of Japanese chefs and waiters worked Kyrgyz citizens who have bought the book through an agency honey legal aid workers from Central Asia. Year of the Dragon continued …

The end of the end

People were living for themselves quietly, with the word "Maya" most born association only with the naming of the famous dancer or bees from the German cartoon, took advantage of a nice little old Gregorian calendar … And then someone decided that the Gregorian calendar — a relic of the calendar and the time of stagnation to dive deeper into the abyss of centuries. Dove and has emerged from the nightmare with a twisted face. Mom conscientious! And live it remains quite a long time — 21 December 2012, is the end. Why the end? As the end? Is it sanctioned by the local authorities?

It turned out that it sanctioned the ancient Mayan Indians several hundred or even thousand years ago. Well, not to sanction — just a stone at them for drawing calendar periods ended — that decided the brakes on its laurels. Well, the truth — not as endlessly peck on the stone, and you need the same thing to do.

And here are just so happened that the time of crisis, many loans are hung Sochi Olympic facilities should be in time to pass, the pension system perereformirovat — that's decided, numbers, remember the prediction. People are appropriate films demonstrate the likely end of the world stories: that, you know, the State Duma of the center in Moscow will take, the "Rosatom" Sergey Kiriyenko will acquire a controlling stake in solar nuclear reactor, the list Magnitsky suddenly discovered a hidden code that resurrects Stalin …

In general, by December, many stocked with salt, matches and, just in case the toilet paper. Some have purchased tickets to the bunker, and some — the concert of Marilyn Manson.

In the end, it turned out that these Mayan people "threw" … Well, either these people have thrown themselves … and they are now with all this salt do? Is that in the forest — elk feed.

That's what he was — the year of the Dragon: The controversial and challenging, encouraging, and purging of illusion, giving a reason for joy and calling to not forget about their own destiny in the family, the community, the country, the world. In general, as the year, as they say, no better and no worse than others. And, taking advantage of the situation, hunt all our readers to congratulate on his end, also congratulated the coming year. Let us hope that 2013 will present only the positive announcements. Happy New Year, friends! Add those announcements that the creators of "Military Review" missed a landmark and important outcomes in their own articles. And understand us correctly: neohvatnoe grasp well, very difficult …

* "I ask the nerve to leave the room" — a phrase from the movie "The Golden Calf"

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