Results of the week. Saw, Shura, saw!

Part I. "Do not mow eye on someone else's brew!"

Last order of the Minister

As paintings and diamonds brought to a hospital bed

But you see, dear readers, on the final order of Anatoly Serdyukov has its former defense position? No, he did not deprive themselves of pension and not even sent myself a monastery in connection with a corruption scandal. Last order of the Minister says fire all deputies, including the so-called "Defense Ministry harem," which long years faithfully served the fatherland …

Ladies, sensing something was wrong, maybe wail: for whom are you us … Anatoly E.-light … But Anatoly E. my thoughts were no longer with them. He gathered all his medals, erased from the hard disk computer ministerial photo blonde and svetlookih chairwoman departments, glanced at the portrait of the Head to the wall, put a button on a huge island and a ministerial seat, clutching a leather briefcase under his arm, departed in a poorly known direction.

After that, in the middle of the ladies who once had to do with the Ministry of Defence, has begun a stir. Some tried to shove away under the bed 56 authentic paintings recognizable Russian painters. Others handed out diamond rings all relatives right up to three times removed sisters godparents own nephews. Third fueled fireplaces in their own high-rise mansions "honestly earned 'bills.

Some people have not stood the fine ladies' nerves, and so some people had to go to the clinic with sudden severe diagnosis, which does not even allow the patient to speak with investigators. Or throat went dry, or the language was bad spin … It is, of course, you can be on your toes and show, but Mrs. E. Vasilyeva fingers and toes will not suffice to show that the amount of money that the Treasury, to put it mildly, was moving in the wrong direction.

Now, many discussions are, and what, in fact, made numerous paintings Russian painters in the apartment Ms. Vasilyeva, which is considered one of the main figurantok the case "Rosoboronservice?" After all, those kind of pictures attributed to Russian museums … The answer to this question is easy to funny: it turns out, there is some paper, according to which the paintings was necessary to ensure "the best storage conditions", handing them to the Ministry of Defence. It seems that the safest place in the country's main military department was specifically apartment Ms. Vasilyeva, where, and "come" Shishkin, Aivazovsky, Repin, Levitan, and other representatives of the Russian school of art.

It affects only the way it is in the apartments "sisters in arms" sovereign Serdyukov had not shown the royal thrones and dark-skinned slaves with large fans and loincloths … Although the investigation is in full swing, and so anything can open …

And let GLONASS wait …

6 and a half billion stolen from the State Corporation RKS

"In the thief and the cap off." This expression for a long time tried to check in fact, investigating officers of the Russian Federation in relation to the state company "Russian gallakticheskie system." About 3 years operational staff, so speak out, followed by what perturbations are carried out within the framework of state-owned corporation that meets including GLONASS for the project. And now, three years later, hats began to glow. Yes there blaze — blaze began on the minds of most that neither is responsible comrades. Why in handy three years, that "experts Skeet" to expose? Well, everything is consistent with a different proverb that tells the story of how we harness a long time, but later rapidly going.

The investigation revealed that replaced in order to keep the funds for the development of the satellite constellation in orbit, as the creation of high-quality software needed to process input from disk imaging satellites, specialists from the RCC decided to use the funds allocated from the budget a little differently. "Seasoned" staff decided that the Russians may have years to wait so … dtsat implementation of the GLONASS system and take advantage of the American GPS, and so it is best to fill with municipal funds their personal budgets. To do this, on the long-approved scheme were made by several companies, pacifiers, who cranked through it hundreds of millions of rubles, with the state in the best case, a couple of employees. And while satellites for mysterious reasons continued to surf the Pacific Ocean after accidents have become classics, taxpayers stuffed wallets and generously replenished the accounts of employees above mentioned corporation.

Investigators have identified a theft of "sex workers" in the amount of nothing less than 6.5 billion rubles, but the press service of the corporation on behalf of the sovereign Zubakhin, said that the data exposed by investigators — nonsense … Apparently, the press secretariat "Russian gallakticheskih systems" for of the monetary mountain, which had nagresti specialists from the state of the company, began to forget that before the serious faces criminal investigators should not ruffle. In the end, had, as usual, to interfere with the Kremlin. From there, the sovereign Zubakhin said that he, and with it all the authority, in which spokesman deigned to work, did not hesitate in the work of investigators and the statements would be more careful …

To mitigate the situation, gave another employee agency, which all swore that the theft in any way, you know, did not affect the implementation of plans to implement the system GLONASS. 6 and a half billion — bye-bye, constellation bring in decent form does not work, but "has no effect." And we told him, of course, believe …

You can not resist to steal

The APEC summit minus 93.3 million = not expect me, Mom …

Yeah … rich in outstanding week at exposing the socialist thieves … uh-uh, sorry, state ownership. One gets the impression that in our country ministries and departments often hold such socialist competition in the spirit of "Who's Who perevoruet? 'Defense: 3 +1 (?) Billion rubles," Russian gallakticheskie system "- 6500000000. rubles. Decided to make his "modest" contribution to this "march billion" and the bureaucrats of the Ministry of Regional Development. True, we have not held up to billion by checking the amount of "only" 93.3 million rubles …

The more "modest", which is not held on the level of theft from the municipal budget to the "average" by agencies, was the last deputy head of the Ministry of Regional Development Roman Panov. Now the emperor Panov holds the position of head of government of the Perm Territory. The edge is not poor, and means that for most of the bureaucrat, who had already taste the sweet fruit of a point withdrawal of funds from the budget.

Investigating agencies suspect the ex-regionalization that he and a few others decided to assign 10 of millions of rubles, which was intended to prepare for the APEC summit in Vladivostok. The principle of attribution was traditional to contemporary officials: competitions were held, aimed at the conclusion of state contracts with companies, and the results of these contests, in any case, won the "needed the desk." Through the "winners" in the organization of competitions and pumped millions of dollars means pleasing her rustling officials of various ranks. The rustle of banknotes so clouded the eyes of these people that the corruption schemes scrolled over and over again. No — there is, of course,
there were no Aivazovsky, but the ninth wave is still up …

Surprisingly, it still has not stepped out of the Ministry of Regional Development and did not say that the kidnapping of money has no effect on the preparation of the summit in Vladivostok … What svezheotstroennye line in the Far East, a sprawling and collapses after the first rain of themselves, more that 90 million, 90 million less …

And nonsense accusations the address sovereign Panova also did not call anybody. Apparently, the lesson of the sovereign Zubakhin of PKC has not passed without any trace, and that in fact have to go to a clinic, like Ms. Vasilyeva, because of an acute attack can not testify …

Council "liquidate" of migrants

Who such Mogren and he is better than the domestic worker?

In the week decided to show off his own political activity Presidential Council on International Relations. Remember, this structure was created on the initiative of Vladimir Putin in June 2012.

So here, the staff of the Council have decided to direct attention to the problem of internal movement. Well, how to pay … Rename! After all, renamed the problem in our country, the problem is solved.

According to experts, in Russia should urgently prohibit the use of such terms as "domestic worker", as the phrase itself Tipo offends the honor and dignity of a person who has moved from the 1st region in the Russian Federation with a view to finding another job. What exactly is expressed insult SPMO staff did not explain, saying only that our people, just a little when he heard the word "migrant", immediately begin to present themselves in front of the stranger. But if the worker does not, then who will? And spices found a way out of difficult situations terminology.

Now instead of "internal migrants" in Russia will "Mogren" — "mobile citizens of Russia." Certainly, the term is much more melodious to determine roam the Russian Federation due to various events Russian people. "Mogren" — is, to paraphrase slightly bitter mate, sounds good …

Going to earn some money on the ground adjacent area, whether razlyubezen, receive the status of "Mogren". Perhaps the Council decides to issue such citizens, of which the country millions, besides a special crust, in what will be referred to as melodious title.

One of the initiators of the introduction of the Russian language a new term has become head of the Committee on International Relations Aslambek Paskachev. Apparently, the most Aslambek Bokluevicha somehow noun "migrant" hurt, so he decided to give birth to light more politically correct designation.

Well, if it comes to that, the migrant is turning into Mogren — it is … It is not good that the reaction of many Russians and cause other words. In this case, these definitions can also block access to or use the same recycled. For example, was a nationalist, but will be "a citizen of the Russian Federation, to speak out against some Russian mobile people", was "an escaped convict," and will be "mobile prisoner", Berezovsky had become "mobile oligarch" …

No bottles can not tell …

Why Lithuania took offense at the Old Man

First, the outgoing week severe diplomatic row erupted between Belarus and Lithuania. According to reports that came from Minsk, it was found that the unknown threw a bottle with a "Molotov cocktail" in the embassy of Lithuania. In the end, none of the officers attacked the embassy was injured, but, despite this, salting Linkevičius was recalled to the native land. According to representatives of the Belarusian law enforcement that all will be found guilty and punished, Vilnius not impressed, and from there towards Lukashenko showered the new portions of the critics of stifling democracy and other "totalitarian" manners of the Belarusian president. In fact, this criticism does not dry out, which indirectly gives to realize why a bottle flew towards the concrete structure of the Lithuanian embassy. In general, Lithuania bucked …

But unless there Alexander Grigoryevich first answer to those States that can not put up with having not enough to please their power in Belarus. The president said that if Lithuania can not wait for the completion of the investigation, and shows its own Baltic character, and then Belarus reserves the right answer. The answer, according to Lukashenko, can be followed: Belarus simply refuse to use the Lithuanian seaport to deliver goods inside the country, and will use the services of ports of Leningrad region and specifically in St. Petersburg. For all the feeling Belarusian favorite said Putin in the course and with 2 hands "for".

If Belarus decides to really show itself fig Lithuanians, the treasury Baltic countries may become poor by about 2.3 billion dollars a year, and about 12 thousand people in Lithuania will lose their own jobs.

Apparently, now the Lithuanian side ponders how to get out of this slippery situation. After all, if you do not return the ambassador and continue to build from a humiliated and insulted, you can lose a lot of money, and if a refund after — means to recognize the victory of Alexander Lukashenko. That's breaking open mind … A business-that: it should just throw in response to the Belarusian Embassy of the Lithuanian bank pickles, yes on that and take it easy.

Both the salting Linkevičius punishes himself for what a shattered bottle said to the "center." He must thinks so: "Swept have broken glassware, podter cloth spilled the contents well and went on to receive representatives of the Belarusian opposition." And in fact if the ambassadors from Belarus will withdraw at such a pace, soon the progressive opposition in Minsk and will have nowhere to go … That's scribbling SMS-ki: 'brother, return the ambassador — we are without him the edge …

As the end of the first part of the "Summary"

Not to mention the fact that in the week there was a series of huge reshuffle in the Ministry of Defence. Well, if somebody else does not know …

Instead of Anatoly Serdyukov was appointed Minister Sergei Shoigu. Instead Nikolai Makarov as Chief of the General Staff took Valery Gerasimov. Perhaps, in recent years, these shifts can be called the most sonorous in the Russian government and showing that an indispensable officials do not happen.

Part II. "Talk is something out, the confusion and left!"

"The whole world is laughing at us"

Onward to Washington!

November 6 in the U.S. presidential elections were held. America has decided that stallions do not change in midstream, and honey brewer with Pennsylvania Avenue, 1600, remained at the helm. Many, including the majestic and terrible Canadian medium Robertson, Mitt Romney predicted victory, but the fellow Obama on the final straight jump on his own rival multimillionaire.

By the way, Mr. Romney should be sad. He and his staff have done so much for the win! And how much Romney could do for the country, entrust it to him Rounded cabinet! And no one hesitates, that aircraft would have appeared pane, in the temples of Sikhs would lead sheiks, the creation would come back from China to Detroit and Chicago, and 12,000,000 Yankees would get up to machines, and would sit down at the tables in the offices, Jerusalem would become the capital of the Israel and geopolitical enemies of America — like the Russian Federation (enemy number 1), Syria, Iran and China and North Korea at the same time — could be attached to the United States about the plan Dmitri Bykov (Our Fatherland): Far East — a
separate state, Siberia and Tatarstan — still a couple of states. On the South American striped flag — immediately a number of stars. A unscheduled Kaliningrad Germans can donate. That is not possible evrogegemon nervous. And the Finns, promised in late October poruha on Russia, but changed his mind — Q1. km of Arctic terrain. Without oil, gas and gold, but with ice and a snow-white bear.

With a similar plan, which promised, by the way, the Pentagon budget increase for the third part, and the new U.S. Navy ships — and lose? Truly, the people of America are not aware of their own happiness. With such a brave and Multi wise president led the Americans could the galaxy in horror to hold.

Romney's speech even wrote only one — in case of victory. This flabby Obama wrote two speeches, including one on the other hand, if people of America decides that it is time to change the crisp white home owner.

Confident Romney recently elections said reporters:

"I feel that we did everything we could. We used all the resources. We fought to the end, and I think because in the end we will succeed. "

The entire progressive community of America, in other words, about 2-3 percent of the rich, condole loser Romney, but at the same time tearing his head and body hair, regretting tyschah and millions of dollars, waste dumped on the election campaign of the Republican-loser, which cost a n … sorry , African-American.

The famous TV host Donald Trump referred to the election results "a complete deception and mockery" and in his blog called the Yankees "go to Washington." Trump said:

"We have to fight hard and finish this majestic and terrible injustice! The whole world is laughing at us … We can not let that happen. We have to go to Washington and stop this farce. Our civilization is not united! "

In another entry he put it more directly:

"We need a revolution in this country."

In fact, what this revolution was going to make Mr. Trump in his native America? I do not proletarian it? But it's right on it in the United States belong to the Free Socialist Party and personally Stephen Durham, Trotskyites, feminist and defender of the rights of sexual minorities, in view of which the path to a brighter future looks like this: the revolutionary masses of the oppressed plumbers and hauzkiperov to storm the white houses are brave … gay.

No, Trump, of course, was referring to the bourgeois revolution. Faster neoburzhuaznuyu. The fact that it is not only the presenter, and a billionaire.

Zeal to modernize the advanced bourgeois society is supported by: a "tweet" his "Notes from the Underground" has sold several thousand copies. True, Obama in the same social network proved to be much more popular: it cited Over half a million users. Broadcasters in the United States for many, but the president alone, and let him confused at times with Osama bin Laden — not a member of the UN Security Council, not the well-known human rights activist.

So, Romney, Trump and Canadian medium — rear, and Obama can relish a drink at the weekend honey beer. Will have a drink, sober up — and that still on? Wind of Change? Public rejection of the disastrous for the planet as the world hegemon and the announcement of the national currency wrappers?

Know, know.

It is naive to believe that Obama's re-election for the South American society and especially in the American foreign policy will change something. The population of the United States in the very most of it, and that the electors voted for Obama, with the utmost attention will not be interested in the fact that Comrade Putin said or Bashar al-Assad and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, even more so (this is what they can not pronounce), and those for which the sum of reinsured silicone ass Jennifer Lopez and did not show whether the case mom Kim Kardashian left nipple.

Municipal debt in advanced democratic country will continue to grow, and along with its growth will be printed petrodollars, for which the Saudis and the Qataris will be pumped into barrels their oil, then sent by naive Caucasian. Seventh Fleet of the U.S. Navy will be as before considered as a possible enemy naval forces of People's Liberation Army of China and plow those waters, where the enemy may inadvertently come across — the kakih-nibud disputed islands with Japanese, Vietnamese or, God forbid, Brunei flags . Obama's finger after the January inauguration will, as before, to shake above the «Reset with Russia» — and perhaps above the «Reset of Russia», which, as they say evil tongues, invented McFaul and properly explained to Obama. We can only assign that instead of rocket launchers on the borders of the European missile defense will stand with ice cream kiosks and stalls, public rosy aunty (not painted pedophiles) will be handing out free balloons to children …

Harmonious choir

Cameron and K offered Bashar al-Assad is not dangerous escape from Syria

Last week, the democratic world society in the face of some of its more reasonable, representatives tried once again to persuade the Syrian president to quit this very Syria away from sin. The fact is that Western politicians like David Cameron can not possibly comprehend why this is so hard comrade Assad clings to its own people. After all, the usual purpose of the president — not to protect people and to defend the people. And from it even easier to defend somewhere in London, if in Damascus. Well, what people in Syria? Everything has been moved to Turkey and Jordan.

Deciding that previously Assad explained all that bad, Prime Minister Cameron again urged the Syrian president to escape in Britain. Public invitation he chose channel «Al Arabiya», who advised him to special agents, pointing out that he is the most notable in the Arab world.

British Prime Minister handed a highly popular channel that the Syrian president can be arranged harmless from leaving the country, and he, Cameron, am ready to take steps in order to ensure the Syrian favorite immunity from prosecution.

The chief of the press service of the U.S. State Department Victoria Nuland welcomed the initiative of Mr Cameron and performed a variation on its themes. Under her expert conducting, chamber choir sang from the Near East. They sang in the choir does not rhyme, but smoothly. The song sung in Arabic, and so Victoria Nuland had translate it:

"… A number of states, first in the region, offers a take-Assad and his family if he decides to leave Syria … The realization is that some countries clearly brought to the attention of the Syrian president ready to take it …"

In choral prazdnichkom accepted the role of the United States and known for salting in Russia Mr. Michael McFaul. This solo sang an old song — about metropolitan refuge:

"Assad must go. We expect that our motherland can assist to ensure its safety, because your business — closer, I do not want to say that you are allies, but the impact on the government of Syria and the system in the Russian Federation more. "

Moscow? Running away from there own people? In other words, not o
nly humiliate his native Syria, and Russia — which is not to retreat from its own veto in the Security Council? Comrade Assad is thought to Tolstoyan "I can not remain silent" and gave an interview to «Russia Today». He promised not to leave their homeland in any case:

"I am Syrian, I was born in Syria, to live in Syria and die here."

It should only take a short-range Assad flight to Europe, as Syria will instantly territory for the game "in the knives." "Rebels" under the expert management of the West will divide it into the buffer zone, and then split the enclaves on the Druze, Kurds, Sunnis, Orthodox. As for the Shiites, it's not enough of them that remain. "Al-Qaeda" will take care of. No, this is not the Libyan scenario: there are thinking to arrange a second Yugoslavia.

But that's a mug. If the West believes that the Syrian people can die without Assad Assad is believed that at least some will get invaded by the Syrian people living on the tinsel.

An Englishman and 68 Italians

About the new achievements of Western medicine

While Mr. Cameron teaches fellow Assad geopolitical processes of survival, Mr other English — Ian Paterson — said the 20-year anniversary of his own surgical operation.

From police reports, it became clear that this doctor, succeeding his career several clinics, put on a surgical table weave and weave ladies. With diagnoses Paterson not burdened, and of the approaches to healing — too. The surgeon, you know, not the same thing as an herbalist or physician. His case — operate with a scalpel.

He acted.

Patients, we get to see him, he had no hesitation put unnecessary diagnosis: cancer. Then cut off the breasts. A thousand women with benign tumors of the good doctor has subjected to a mastectomy.

One chopped, Gail Boychat, recalls:

"I remember I walked into the office, I looked at the doctor, my husband was sitting next to. And I saw the doctor nods his wife, and later says to me, "Sit down, I have to announce to you something even more terrible than you think. You have never had cancer. "

Along the English doctor hunted postscripts. Here it is not the patient complained, but colleagues. Who but they knew that doctors are not interested in the effect of the operations, and their number? Paterson not only petitioned for expedited diagnosis and urgent operations. Investigators convinced, that in their own reports, he pointed out fictitious transactions, regularly receiving for their sterling from the Ministry of Health.

The doctor was the subject of a very stubborn. 5 years ago back doctoral Association forbade him to carry out operations, leaving the boundaries of its jurisdiction only inspection. But the surgeon continued to cut, cut, cut …

Besides the usual removal of "cancer", he came to the point and creative. Some patients it is difficult to unhealthy operated on certain of its methodology. No corresponding certificates doctor experimenter had. And after the surgery, so that unhealthy life did not seem raspberries, Mr. Paterson was finishing their chemotherapy.

Despite the successes of the energetic Englishman with the experience, other representatives of European medicine, a native of sunny Italy to wasting no envy, too, started tests on a weak human flesh.

On Friday, the Italian police arrested nine cardiologists. This honey gang accused of a series of crimes: illegal experiments on patients, society criminal organization, corruption, waste of property, in the end, representatives of defrauding the public health system. At the same time a dozen companies supplying medical equipment was not allowed to work with the consulate public health system. The investigation implies that these companies are haggling with the assistance of enterprising cardiologists.

It all started with what happened at the clinic of Modena four weird death, twelve cases of serious complications after healing and eleven failed stenting vessels of the heart. By the way, a police operation called "Dirty robes."

Italian Aesculapius were also seriously passionate about medicine — and were willing to give her own patients' lives. Men from Modena, armed with scalpels, used "their methods", as the English surgeon, and does not hesitate in passing such an ordinary honey fishing as money laundering through insurance firm. Was washed out of a million bucks. The role of the medical providers was that due to aggressiveness of advanced medical clinic was buying bad equipment. It is worth to point out that it is something the experimenters and used for repairing heart unfortunate patients.

If you think that nine people — rather weakly to the criminal network, keep in mind that the 9 — number of arrests. Just in case passes 68 physicians.

Breivik ill-fated

The tragic story of a cool coffee and awkward stick

In the Norwegian bullpen Ila infringed rights, and along with freedom fighter against multiculturalism Breivik.

Indeed, there is much to marvel at. In Norway — humane European country in which terrorists are not planted at seven or eight open-ended terms plus another seven years for small offenses totality as it would have done in the U.S. — with the unfortunate prisoners suddenly began to turn as a man of the last class.

In 1-x, it was served not hot (you can tell, and cool) coffee: here and just a short time. Even more so — in the chamber. Three-room, by the way: a bedroom, a gym and an office.

In-2, from kantsprinadlezhnostey not given him a firm "Parker", and some rubber grip. It turned out that it rubs Breivik fingers, which may lead to arthritis. Write an autobiography and immediately think about arthritis? No writer could not bear.

B-3, the other prisoners who were sitting in the bullpen at times hinder Breivik with their noise.

Fourth, the terrorist asks in his apartment humidifier.

C-5's, he believes that at breakfast he gets a little oil.

Sixth, he does not like the view from the window.

Also in the complaint management FSIN Norway it complained on a very tight handcuffs and concluded:

"I doubt very much that in some places in Norway, there are places of detention, conditions of detention in any worse."

The complaint said Breivik wrote a rubber handle and holds 27 pages.

Faster it will develop arthritis from writing complaints, if by writing an autobiography.

By the way, the Norwegian society might prove slightly gratitude to his own hero. It's not just robbed a jewelry store or a hatchet pristuknul old woman money-lender. He killed 77 people than ever glorified home. Now the game of word association, after the word "Norway" at least some Australian or Zulu, gleaming white teeth and forgetting about Grieg and Hamsun, immediately says in response: "Breivik! '

And for that, the public hero watered cool coffee, slip him a cut-down ration of oil and can not find a room with a sea view?

Planetka, second-han

Product no return

Around the globe raging economic crisis. In order to survive the hard times, a clever Japanese decided to put this very earth … with a hammer. He enrolled at the auction «Yahoo», seriously and without errors outlined the product and installed it on the starting price of 69 yen. After the announcement of the sale spread on the web of the cost rose up to 123 million dollars.

Once God has commanded George W. Bush, Jr. (according to the latter) to invade Iraq. But the seizure, and even the same country — and very small, and quite troublesome. In addition, may be broken. Japanese man was smarter than Bush, but the reference to God is also given away. He outlined own "goods" followed by:

"The earth was revealed merchant god who appeared to him in a dream."

Merchant planet Earth have the product — the "true" and "second-hand". It is not subject to return.

Japanese warns, that bids must be accompanied by a message expressing serious intentions to buy planetoid in the unlikely event the proposal will be considered a drawing, but a very large number of drawings will lead to the closure of the auction.

Now at 123 million dollars somewhere in New York can be purchased only some 12.3 million boxes of matches. A similar value for the planetoid is very small, and a member of the Bilderberg Group may acquire land almost with the same ease that a Cuban cigar. The seriousness of purpose that is unlikely to justify the sovereign will.

But not all so simple: one Chinese, previously seen with the national flag on the Senkaku Islands, Earth has already announced a disputed territory and now threatens to go to the UN. It turns out that to him, and not with the Japanese «Yahoo», God presented planetoid — yes its not just one, but the entire solar system …

* "Saw, Shura, saw" — a phrase from the movie "The Golden Calf".

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