Results of the week. To me, vampires! To me, vampires!

Part I. "You call yourself free. Free from what, or why free? "

Feminism with materkom

Widely known for its "glorious" shares with naked breasts and absurd slogans in the spirit of "Women are better than men, even when drunk" movement «Femen» experienced for themselves on a reciprocal action on the part of the so-called "Faithful Cossacks." The Cossacks, armed with whips, gathered to do a typical version of Alaverdi and knock on «Femen» their own instrument. This blow resulted in a share, during which the boards was scored crosswise entrance to the office of the movement «Femen» (yes, there is movement and study), and was attached to the plates of a plate with a subsequent text: "Baba road — from the oven to the threshold."

During prikolachivaniya plates to the wood on the threshold appeared the same activist feminist. Apparently, they were on duty in the Cabinet, as along with them were their attendants wreaths. However, fasten a wreath on his head, only one had time to "FEMEN-Girl", and the second was holding it in his hand. We must assume that «Femen» in such a hurry to open the door to the recruiting knocks, what about the shape of number 2 with the naked torso apparently forgotten. And they ran to the door, probably thinking that their customers have new colorful shares, brought a chainsaw "Friendship", a money and an envelope with the latest plan the operation.

But by opening the door, "duty" is not beheld neither the money nor the envelope in front of him but saw the boarded up doorway and read the inscription on the plate. After that, out of the mouth advocates of sexual or give advantages over peasants, or advertising of pharmaceuticals for the growth of the breast where the "before" (photo of the "before" and "after"), heard the words that confirm that the same «Femen» nothing human not alien. A few rants on the majestic and mighty reinforced the belief that the girls are working on campaigns to order, but when behold the mature guys in front of him, ready to forget about the time of their own feminist ideals …

Russian mat, it puts all the points over the "e" and has such force that it is able to accurately tell, why should first be necessary usual Russian (Ukrainian) woman usual Russian (Ukrainian) A man …

Marketing obscurantism in Estonia

From Estonia in the week received several reports that in one of the local recurrent publications advertisement appeared with a very specific meaning.

At this point, it must be admitted, advertising is no longer enough to surprise anyone: flapping wings hygiene products for ladies, sweaty armpits, hastily jammed some super-strong deodorant and replaceable under his breath in a random satellite bus, leakproof days of diapers for those kids whose ancestors probably completely forgets about the existence and the kids themselves that those have a natural need …

But the Estonian advertising for once surpassed all that is connected with marketing, and decided to hit what is called, in the rear. Advertised for weight loss pills everyday. But instead of the usual stories about how "it took off 20 pounds in two days", local marketers have decided to add to the image promoted products prisoners of concentration camps and the slogan, "In Buchenwald was not fat!" Well, the title of slimming "pills from Dr. Mengele "raises some questions …

After the ad was found in a newspaper, a wave of indignation. People could not believe that Nazi atrocities were terrible scale and character during the second world war, may be subject to applicable for the purposes of tovaroprodvizheniya. But the creators of this kind of advertising stated that there is nothing reprehensible, since it is the real Estonian humor.

The tops of the Estonian "humor" has been demonstrated in other marketing article that talked about the versatility, reliability and efficiency of gas heating, with the background of the image of such words in the camp gates of perdition "Auschwitz" …

If you believe marketers word, it turns out that the Estonian humor is beyond the ordinary. And if so, the Estonian "comedians" of advertising has long time to check in their respective places can use this analysis to give a clear hint where humor, and where — long and compulsory treatment …

By the way, if you really Estonian special on advertising so creative in their own endeavors, they can recommend a bungled marketing video about the fine sifted sand for construction, as well as the background picture of the stick with marching through the streets of Tallinn veterans of the SS …

20 one — for himself emperor!

Another one coming at people with bad habits in Russia began to representatives of the most ambitious political forces in the country — the "United Russia". It would seem that the poor and so-miserable smokers and drinkers have nowhere to put themselves on the bloodthirsty care on the part of the country. Do you want to advertise on TV vodka look — "figvam" called, you want the plane to drag papirosinoy — also "nizya", and if going to run after 23:00 for the "additive", then I'm sorry, my friend, have been from early evening to stock up …

But even these anti-human attacks have not stopped members in their efforts to make our civilization is the most sober and non-smokers in the world. In the week the MP Vyacheslav Timchenko has decided to bring the newest idea on how to achieve the goals outlined above. He proposes to raise the age limit from 18 years to 21 years for those Russians who want to buy in one way or the other point of sale of liquor or tobacco products.

However, the citizens, it is well out: soulless MP Timchenko wants to take away the joy of all high school graduates who went to greet the dawn on Preserving the body of water, with a nothing taken with the grand table, placed his hands zealous fathers and mothers … wishes to deprive the happiness of all Dembele, getting on the train and been forced to take in the station kiosk bottle "Essentuki number 17." Wishes to deny the simple comfort of all metropolitan arrivals do not admitted that without the purchase of intoxicating okocheneyut just standing along the roads and highways. What do students who have decided on a change to run to the coming kiosk for cigarettes? Not a lot of that has to immediately hand over at least a hundred meters (stall's got to be 100 meters closer to the educational institution) as well as to the same, out of breath from running a busy, getting a response from the saleswoman, "is not allowed, small ishsho!" We'll have to shoot cigarettes in adult passers-by, but to shoot a lot in the era of global financial crisis … And yet to shoot, the change has long been over …

And if you look even further, it turns out that the deputy general decided to cut down a spreading tree business on alcoholic cocktails. This is how much the Perplexed manufacturers palliative our youth, "Jaguars" and "Blazer", which advocated for the fact that a new generation will grow up strong and sturdy, the morning spew sustainable fume smell the smell of fresh chemical dyes …

Well, the young people themselves, a certain percentage of which have long defected to cigarette and alcohol fun utter deputy Timchenko: for you, Uncle Valera, well — you're there already what an adult, 21 years old, I suppose,
has long been noted — Treat a cigarette, if it really happened …

Employment — no sugar

While the Kuban governor Tkachev declares It is not good harvest in the Krasnodar region, which is associated with floods, crop fields Kursk simply amazing. In this case, it can strike virtually.

Farmers in the week of the 1st district of the Kursk region have reported that the assembled collection of sweet beets which case mixed with the crop of 3-10-s time majestically Russian missiles. The shells were found in the mountains of beets, landed on one of the local sweet factory.

But the 30 rounds — it's far not the entire collection. Almost a day earlier for the detection of the same workers found the plant in the canals to supply an arsenal of root vegetables: bombs, mines, hand grenades and detonators.

In this regard, we can safely apply to the management of the Kursk region on condition that it has introduced at the local sweet factory latest post: grower-sapper or saharodel — special on mine explosives. With all of this if the recent article appeared in the newspaper that the work on the sweet factory in Kursk region — it is not sweet, she just can not believe …

Kozidavlat and monetary loss Tajikistan

Last week, his mathematical calculations struck Tajikistan. Salting of the Central Asian countries in Minsk sovereign Kozidavlat Koimdodov in one of his own speeches, said that Tajikistan should not go to the Customs alliance in what is already made up our homeland, Kazakhstan and Belarus. According to his personal (or all the same municipal) estimates turned out that in the case of Dushanbe joining the CU will lose about 500 million dollars. With all this added Koimdodov perceptible phrase that characterizes the very unusual logic Tajik control: "And the money you need to find at first …"

Oh, that's, indeed, the East — a delicate matter. Based on the words of Ambassador Koimdodova, it turns out that Tajikistan is no 500 million dollars at the moment seems to be no, but at the same time, their fear of losing it. But then there is completely reasonable question: how can you lose what is not?

This situation looks around then this:

— I wish to earn money yesterday, but did not.

— Why?

— So anyway, or lose, or spend …

Apparently, Kozidavlat Koimdodovich Koimdodov in his youth was very fond of far-fetched numbers and irrational philosophy, and now these interests appear in his diplomatic activity. If top political control of Tajikistan thinking about just what Tajikistan is already better get out of all the unions, blocs and organizations in which he is a member. And since money is not, and here you are with their unions-shmayuzami …

The man, similar to the priest

Last week, the proceedings on the sensational case of Abbot Timothy, who not so long ago, driving a sports car model BMW with diplomatic numbers Maltese embassy did crash in the center of Moscow. It would seem that the very mission of the Holy Father should be that, so that at any time of day or night, and he sowed a reasonable, good and eternal, but that fateful day sower of Timothy's father went bad. Another would be: ram two cars, even if the foreign assembly — still somehow un-Christian …

The proceedings began with the holy father suddenly announced that he was intoxicated at the time of the accident was not, and all the signatures on the minutes of the accident — generally fake and he does not belong. According to him, go through medical test for the presence of alcohol in the blood it has not been requested, and hence, in spite of the fume smell emanating on the testimony of numerous witnesses, from the mouth of the abbot, who arrived at the traffic police believed the same in the infallibility of Timothy. Still do not believe Timofey — confessor of the meek pop singer Philip Russian pop Bedrosovich Kirkorov … And if you believe necessary, by definition …

After all, that's how out: the church as it is an autonomous organization with its own laws and dogmas, but the abbot perfectly oriented to the same in the legal intricacies. Say, is not mine, was not involved, but I can only judge tribunal of God …

And navigate the legal snag him God himself commanded, in fact, judging by the traffic police, the citizen Podobedov (aka Abbot Timothy) had time for his career to take the driver's role in more than 6 10 framework of traffic accidents. Abbot himself together with his lawyers, even these have documented facts criticized, saying that in all the blame for the camera hanging on the roads. Say, if the car abbot and superior speed, then it could sit anyone, just not the abbot … If this is the logic in the case file may seem a new concept: no abbot, and the person that is similar to the abbot.

By the way, Father Timothy, as reported by the owner of a crashed car now BMW took this car to "go" without issuing a power of attorney. The abbot and the words with the person, their izrekshim, threw anathema, saying that it is heresy, and the power of attorney in fact was …

In general, there can only say one thing: Timothy — savvy priest, and hence, the arbitrators must be careful. That is sensitive — so the abbot's anathema and outright accusation of heresy, with all the judges for the shower …

Part II. South American mosaic

Friend of Obama in Moscow

South American president Mitt Romney explained to the general public who America is friend and who is enemy

If the U.S. presidential candidate Mitt Romney calls Vladimir Putin "tyrant" and a "threat to national security," Russia considers "geopolitical enemy number one" and spoke of his desire to "rein in Moscow", his rival Barack Obama longs with Russian friends. Russian — they're not the same thing as the men of the "Al-Qaeda". This idea of a South American president tried to convey to their own voters, but at the same time to the slow-witted Mitt Romney and the Republicans in general slowpoke.

Speaking in the evening at the Democratic National Convention, Comrade Obama pinned thoroughly bad politically savvy candidate competitor, explaining to him that the enemy of America — "Al-Qaida" and not Moscow. "My opponent — said Barack Obama — the man in the new field of foreign policy. He wants to bring us back to the era of drastic actions and blunders that cost America so dearly. In the end, you can not call the Russian enemy number one. Russia is not "Al-Qaeda", if you do not think in terms of cool war. "

Democratic Senator John Kerry joined the president and also made fun of not much versed in geopolitics Romney. Comrade Kerry said just that the Republican nominee is not a special meaning in foreign policy and therefore are unlikely to be able to be useful to the country in this area. Sen. said"Guys, Sarah Palin said that she could behold Russia from Alaska. Mitt Romney says, because as if he beheld Russia only in the movie "Rocky 4".

Fine, humorous criticism, not carp. But the question here is not whether, how and what they say these critics, and what they will do. A European missile defense system will do, and the "Al-Qaeda" — the official enemy the United States — the United States will continue to pur
sue your interests in the Middle East, including Syria's long-suffering.

As for the object of criticism by the name of Romney, then this is not a time to damning sin of doublethink. The above-mentioned Senator Kerry exposing these summarized"In the beginning he was against the installation of the final term of our troops in the country, saying that we should not leave Afghanistan so quickly. He considered a disaster withdrawal from Iraq, he said, that would start to intervene in Libya even earlier. But he later said that the decision on Afghanistan was the right one, and the intervention in Libya was very cruel … "

This friend of the Kremlin Obama is full of mind-blowing promises that can not believe in only those who have just brought up on Hollywood movies where the issues are decided by a person or with a tool like Rocky, or the God of the car. And the first, and second, it is true, act fast — so that moviegoers are not bored. Comrade Obama is in the best traditions of Hollywood vowed to 4 years reduce 25% public debt. Meanwhile, on the days of the size of the debt obligations of America set a new record, exceeding 16 trillion. bucks.

Yet today the president promised otreformirovat education and protect the environment. In general, these fine-sounding promises can be partly attributed to the truthful.

Obama to protect the environment will be even easier than before: after all, half of the medium itself in America in the summer of burnt out. Otreformirovat South American education — even easier. If today is the fourth-mathematicians in the United States can not be without a calculator to divide 111 by 2, then, spending reform, it is necessary to test the number "111" to change the number "4". And the South American students show excellent results.

"I have no illusions that this will happen instantly — said President. — It will take years to solve the problems have been accumulating for decades. "

No, of course, the bureaucratic system of the United States substitute 111 for 4 is not rapidly digested, and the trees, which the president to sit down on the spot scorched forests not grow overnight. Obama is right: it will take years.

Trees trees, but a presidential candidate again climbed into the realm of fantasy, a couple of years of accumulated hand to solve all problems. Not on another, it's a fat hint voters: say, fellow Americans, if I reigned over you for decades … The declared Obama's friendship with Moscow also hardly accidental, and forces us to think: I do not envy a fellow comrade Vladimir Barack Kremlin?

Hillary — in prezidentki!

South American Democrats already know who in 2016 will rule the U.S.

At the Democratic Convention nedavneshnem pushed it himself, Bill Clinton. By the way, if the South American polls do not lie, Clinton — one of the most popular U.S. presidents. And not just popular, but one of the best. And not just "one of", and comes in five of the best of the best. He takes in the national ranking of fifth place, behind only Lincoln, Reagan, Washington and Kennedy. So the outlook of Comrade Clinton in America is valued and readily replicated in the media.

Closing the speech, the former president, among other things, as if in passing, saw, he is proud of his own wife, is also grateful to the Obama team: because when these people America has become stronger, and the world it has become more partners and opponents — the less.

Regarding the second half of this maxim we are allowed to doubt. Syria and Iran — they are that America's partners? And anyway since when economic sanctions that the U.S. handed out to the right and to the left, to help get Obama to reduce the number of partners and opponents? Stealther Bill is not only disingenuous in one: did not read about friends USA. Here too no one would have believed it — even those unenlightened individuals in the United States, which is not seen "Rocky 4". Here we have a bottom line: yes partners enemies …

For the first half of a short but succinct phrases comrade Clinton, then it laid an enormous sense. This is not just an additional "public relations" Mrs. Clinton (she herself by pushing the full program there), but a direct reference to the Yankees' potential presidential candidate who worthily continue the work of Comrade Obama — or rather, his own, because Obama is in America an independent owner of white houses does not count.

In U.S. there are discussions that rules America majestic Hillary. Iraqi solution — a solution. The Syrian decision, unless, of course, it is soon to be followed — also will be the solution. Why Hillary is not to end his long political career so brilliant end — a brass fanfare? In this case, the journalists do not have to put forward the version of infringement Barack Obama, speech, who, like Bill Clinton, Hillary comes up with expressive. Analysts do not have to crush your head, why is it that "we say," Obama ", we mean" Clinton. " In Washington, comes Harmony: bodren'kiye theory Clinton will not be at odds with sluggish practice white houses.

Hillary has already said publicly that the text of her speech wife came to the liking. (They say, Now Billy wrote it myself. Well, at least, hired a speechwriter. Other words, there were no vsesuschey wife).

Democrats realized the promise of true comrade Clinton. Prominent party leaders immediately announced sturdy Hillary's chances for election in 2016.

For example, the governor of Colorado, Democrat John Hickenlooper, said reporters: "At least, half of those who are currently referred to as potential candidates for nomination in 2016 to give up their own interests if she will want to be elected. In this there is no doubt. "

The deputy chairman of the Democratic Party offices in the state of South Carolina Jamie Harrison said that if Hillary Clinton will go to the polls, the main battle will unfold for a vice-president. Opponents inside the party, Clinton will not. The head of the South Branch of the Democratic Party. Carolina Harputlyan Dick said, "I supported Barack in 2008, and now I'm going to expect it. Discussions at the moment only about her. "

So, all-planetary building democracy should expect to around 2020 — the time when the Russian "tractor" will go into space to meet the harsh asteroid Apophis.

The Russians at least perceive with displeasure speeches and statements by Mitt Romney — a multimillionaire who is said to have informed people, Russian people can only compare with the movie "Rocky 4" and the "Magnitsky list". But still, or will be, when in 2016 will be beaten out prezidentki desperate Mrs. Clinton, who at the time of impact, I think, 69 …

Bio threat is sweeping the planet

While the white-washed house resented Syrian WMD, California drew the deadly bio hazard

New bio threat comes from the United States. Deadly virus lives and propagates in a state park Yosemite. Everyone, just visit the park is already in the group, the risk of death. Infection is very difficult to diagnose, vaccines against it does not exist, and there are already dead. As for the park, it is visited by four million people a year, and the government of California is not going to close this place profitable.

Spread terrible disease mice and hamsters. In the middle of the dead — three boys, previously spent the night in tents in Yosemite. Eight tourists are in the clinics. In the area of risk of death listed at the moment is 12,000 people from 39 countries have visited the park this summer.

According to the views of the scientists, the source of an incurable plague was mouse droppings. Hantavirus pulmonary syndrome results in 6 weeks to pulmonary edema and death after the final. Inhaled dust particle in the park or shook hands with the man — and end: a doctor for you is not posodeystvuyut. The only thing they are able to do so on their own bad habit for you to write a bill for inspection.

Ministry of Health of the U.S. excited about the imminent global epidemic, but authorities own profitable California park close do not reflect. And so far in camp — the epicenter of the infection — Tourists and guests. About the lethal virus, many of them have learned not from employees of Yosemite, and the newspapers. After all, newspaper people in America are also thinking about profit.

The Party of the Living Dead: a new word in the political technologies of the XXI century

Zombie — in every home!

Whether in America only two candidates for the presidency, to live in that America itself would be boring. This year, the yawning audience amused comrade A. Zombie, who is also running for president of the United States — from the party living dead.

Indeed, as long as the Republican candidate and the Democratic candidate competing in the pronunciation of the projected antithesis, non-verbal rotten corpse to paly the person for whom a campaign trip broadcasts his wife — the perfect political technology solution. A. Zombies, fighting for the rights of the dead across the country, even in the advertising television series "The Walking Dead" seems to be alluding to citizens that they are — the corpses are alive. "Some candidates prevail in democratic states — reads The wife of Zombies — some — a Republican, and we focus on the states of the dead. " Aphorism, but!

The candidate with the room temperature of the body is not shaking hands to the voters — he feels the have their pulse. He knows how to solve once and for all the problem of the unemployed: the walking undead do not need a job. In the case of the death of his zombie family will be provided with medical insurance. What could there a «Medicare»! .. Supporters of A. Zombie has recently organized a congress of his own party in Tampa, which started a day earlier by the Republican convention, frightened hurricane. Those ghouls America showed his fearlessness — right against Mitt Romney trembled with its 230 million.

Wife of Mr. Zombie explained to public: "My husband — this is the man who will fight for the appearance of zombies in each South American house, and he will not stop — even if it kills him again." A key requirement of "shake" — giving the Yankees the right to know more about the life of a zombie. "Hardworking Americans deserve the right to return home after a long day or, put his feet up and have a look about the program from the zombies on TV, if they so wish," — translated as wheezing and growling own wife Patty Morgan-Zombie.

Since such Telecast election platform A. Zombies, of course, will achieve of success. All the more so that in the days of the United States authorities have announced the probable invasion of zombies — completely official. Message about the future zombie-threat spread U.S. Department of State Security.

The creators of the idea have decided that their "creativity" will allow people to prepare for hurricanes, terrorist attacks, pandemics and earthquakes. Specifically for this purpose by the Ministry and initiated preparations for the "invasion of the walking dead" and deployed accordingly propaganda. The whole country, by the way.

At the moment, the Ministry of State Security Yankees gives advice in the event of a massive attack "shaking" evacuation plans, to make supplies of fresh water and some clothes and buy medicines and lights. By the way, parallel to British scientists, the most progressive in the world, in public made the confirmation that the epidemic of zombies — completely real.

Here there are two questions. 1st: I do not consider whether the naive Americans campaign Mr. A Zombie, who intends to make a trip across the country and arrange in different towns parades zombie attack of the living dead, which warned the Ministry of alert? And second, the main: the fall of 1938, when Orson Welles made a radio show on the novel by HG Wells' own namesake of "War of the Worlds", in the northeast of the United States began a terrible panic. About a million listeners believe in Martians invading Earth, finding radio play direct reports from the scene. The Ministry of Public Security, of course, have forgotten the lessons of fellow Wells.

Of course, some Americans just popryachutsya the cellars zapasshis blankets, coca-cola, radios and aspirin. But other, more fearless than A. Zombie escape before the coming of weapons-grade Chipka and bagged "Saiga", machetes and chainsaws. And if these brave guys, vnyavshie promotion of the Ministry of State Security, will vigorously defend against intruders in their town of the living dead, the story of Breivik can swiftly be forgotten.

* "To me, vampires! To me, vampires! "- A phrase from the movie" Wii ".

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