Results of the week. Until then there are people to someone elses good greedy

Part I. "Clarity — is a form of complete fog"

Department of Defense: "Here I remember here I do not remember …"

As in the main military department "forgot" about the court decisions

The fact that the Ministry of Defence of the Russian Federation is a separate authority which often can be called "non-executive", many imagined. And so came from the Public Chamber of the Russian Federation Information about the next stunt the Defense Ministry was seen as the work of the Ministry, "according to plan".

Commission Chairman OP RF Safety Alexander Kanshin with employees going to make an inquiry about how the Department of Defense takes the court decisions in terms of handing military apartments. It turned out that the Ministry of Defense is often spitting with the highest bell tower at the court decision granting the military laid them housing. Many court decisions in favor of the military, were simply ignored by the Department of the Ministry of housing.

Well, the truth: Tribunal — is the power of the third, and the Ministry of Defense — the power of some, and one of the representatives of the authorities, we are not always perceived by other government officials. Apparently, the emperor Serdyukov and his staff from housing, thought something like this: once the tribunal ruled, let flats military tribunal and issues — such ministerial initiative. And the fact that judicial decisions taken in the country to perform, Anatoly Eduardovich apparently not fit reported. That's why there was a military-court incident, which was understandable due to the activity of the Public Chamber.

In the end, it all ended so that the court warned the head of the Department of Defense zhilobespecheniya Galina Semin of the need to comply with court decisions, and even that, if the court decision and then will not be made, in other words, such a thing as "individual criminal responsibility." But where we did not disappear, of course, think in the Defense Ministry, and as usual, promised all to understand in exceptional detail in the hope that it will take a month or two, and this incident will be forgotten. Oblivion — the main mechanism of our defense establishment.

On the allocation of funds for the modernization of the State Budget remember, and that's extradition apartments, made of shell companies, the breakdown of the state defense order forgotten. A suspicious amnesia comes out.

Do not chew, do not smell, do not smoke!

Habit — Outlaw

Aha! That you were caught, 40 million Russian smokers. Now-government just take care of your health and the health of those you own perfumed with smoke cigarettes! Will not you? What next? And who ask will that be? Is the developed democracies, on the way that we walk all soon, decided to ask people's world? It is said — made: No smoking, chewing and even snuff.

After the Ministry of Health itself suddenly found out that a comprehensive ban on smoking by 16% reduces the number of heart attacks and a 24% reduction in the number of respiratory diseases, it gave an excuse to put the bill on a total ban on smoking in public places for consideration in the Municipal Duma. And our Municipal Duma — the body itself, which, though most of its own and has a special love for some tobacco with mahorochkoy, but once uttered "sverhu", you'll have to vote and his hands and feet. Well, it's about how the transfer of the clock-untranslatable: first all almost unanimously supported the later unanimously want to cancel, and as with the police, the police: the first for the painting of the first 2-letters favored an absolute majority, after having driven by an absolute majority of the wave awareness …

And now, just try to get his cigarette out of the pack somewhere in the station toilet, the closet train underpass or, God forbid, on the beach or in the hotel corridor — the penalty will be such that you have a heart attack can happen not smoke, and from the 1st of verbal announcement of this number.

No, gentlemen smokers! The government is not afraid of losing your voice. Forty million more than forty million less — unless there somehow, this figure can affect the attitude to the founders of the law … After care — is available.

Oh, yes! It is also necessary to say that the coming hard times for filmmakers and screenwriters. Now the heroes of the creators of the works will be required to prohibit smoking, so it is not promoted craving for tobacco smoke in the middle of the viewers and readers. What to do with the "old smokers" on the display, while not completely decided, but you can be sure — will decide … Shtirlits, pulled out of the pocket mint caramel, Sherlock Holmes and Stalin, which produce from their own tubes pleasing kids blowing bubbles … yeah … Comrade Stalin would the law is not very happy with the …

In general, the law, of course, appropriate, but it was too similar to another embodiment of the policy kinks. One could, in principle, be equated to smoking addiction, and for that matter to plant far away and forever, but now, weird way, the fact that drug addiction forbidden, nor the number of drug addicts in the country, nor the volume of import of drugs in Russia suspicious way diminished. Why is that? ..

Who will keep control of the implementation of this law will be? Maybe smoked two packs a day police sergeant renamed? And maybe decide to make a "Smoke squads" that would hunt down smokers and smokers to report to the prosecutors? In general, we are troubled by vague doubts that the law is very similar to Gorbachev's decision to cut down the vineyards, which apparently healthier nation …

Jokes about Russia from the Baltic states

Real Baits: Do not Show Them pejorative Russia — a day lost

Cunning to fudge our Baltic "partners." This week, distinguished Estonian and Latvian "creatives."

In Estonia, one of the local channels appeared humorous program "Perhaps only in Russia", which is made up of stories about the "stupid" Russian. In the process of transferring its leading ceases to amaze me how these behave "terrible" Russian people. The viewer is offered stories about how swimming in the fountains of Russian paratroopers on the streets of the Russian Federation are intoxicated pedestrians, as arranged car race WHA. In general, the transmission in Estonia enthuses. Surprisingly, as early as it did not show roaming the streets of the Russian bear in an embrace with drunken urban residents, behind which hangs on duty balalaika, and from the pocket of his pants sticking unfinished bottle of the cloudy brew.

Well … We are naturally very pleased that Estonia entire programs, dedicated to the Russian Federation, but only offer the Estonian creators to be completely honest with themselves and their audience, and vary the transmission of stories about how many at one time Our homeland has sent this shprotnuyu kvazirespubliku Russian rubles for the construction of schools, hospitals, factories, residential houses. That would be a laugh that was, if I learned that almost all modern Estonian industry was built during the Soviet era at the expense of those who worked hard in Mother Russia.

In addition, the transfer should have included the story about the fact that in Russia may be the presence of Russian people and people of foreign countries, but in Estonia still has disenfranchised and additional layer of non-citizen who would like anymore, but at the same time they are. Also best humor, the man from Estonia … It is
necessary to tell, that in Russia not made fun of Nazi concentration camps, publishing their images in the process of marketing campaigns, as well as in Estonia have adopted … In general, subjects will be needed, our home for you help!

Supported the original Russophobian trend and colonial sovereign citizens of Latvia. Then the Minister of Justice on the days of the Emperor Bordans said that it is time to resume the work of the commission, which would be exactly calculated the amount of damage done over the years of "occupation" of Russian Latvian countryside. As they say, hello — come! .. And the same direction.

Apparently, the emperor Bordans too rusty, which was trained in the Soviet era, was treated and studied nonsense to "occupant" means. Eating ice cream occupant of 10 cents, he played in the "occupant" of soldiers and generally enjoy life. And now, as you can see, this middle-aged emperor suddenly decided to count how many does he have to those who has permitted little dopey and Janis break out, I'm sorry, from mud to riches. Well, after all: I think Janis, consider … Just be razlyubezny give us feedback and the opportunity to count how many billion Russian rubles were vbuhat to the economy of the locality in which you have an indescribable happiness to live, how much tax paid Ural worker and peasant Kuban for the fact that you, Janis, and others like to have lived in anything for themselves do not deny. What do you think, whose cost will be more? ..

Glass vs. Plastic

"Rosalkogolregulirovanie" gives the plot for the Estonian the programs of the previous topics

While the Municipal Duma, as it should, think about the adoption of laws, namely, the adoption of a law on the development of problems for Russian smokers in other imperative corridors discusses the more exciting ideas. Namely, in the week it became clear that such an agency as "Rosalkogolregulirovanie" has decided to abandon the initiative to ban the sale of beer in a plastic container.

Phew-f — exhale those Russians who are not accustomed to wearing in packages languid glass container with a foam product, and adept at carrying the 1,5 -, 2 — and more than liter plastic bottles with the sacred life-giving moisture from the coming kiosk. Well, the truth of what had only previously conceived this thing "Rosalkogolregulirovanie" when hatched the idea of banning the plastic container in the propagation of beer! Apparently, the people there are absolutely no idea how that forbid plastic beer bottles, so here we increase the level of injury. Neuzh these bureaucrats do not know that after a couple of bottles in the middle of holodnenkogo Russians start at first cordial discussions, debates later and later, I'm sorry, and to massacre nearby. Feels insulted by people in his own hand a glass bottle — and what his next act? That's right! Try to use it to justify their own opponent that he was wrong. And what next? Again true! "ER" excessive nerves, expenses, bandages and a solution of brilliant green.

And if by the hand of only plastic "poltorashka?" Yes, even here argue until you're blue, and no traumatic for you. To substantiate his point of view, of course, will be more difficult than with glass containers in hand, but how will develop in the middle of our brother's art of rhetoric!

Apparently, at the last minute specialists from the "Rosalkogolregulirovaniya" Having appropriate to experiment on himself, decided to cancel the same requirements for the sale of beer in plastic. As the saying goes: "The experience, the offspring of severe errors, and the genius, the paradoxes of a friend …"

Dear Georgian president

Ivanishvili counted as expensive Georgians contain Saakashvili

In the week continued exotic political relations between the current sovereign Georgian President Saakashvili and freshly baked Prime Minister Bidzina Ivanishvili. The head of government, believing in what amounts to ordinary Georgians costs the president, has come almost to a nightmare and invited Misha Nikolozovich be modest. Modesty, on the views of Ivanishvili should say is that the president of Georgia immediately moved from the luxury of the presidential palace (Avlabar) in the State office building in which he works Ivanishvili also held meeting of the government of Georgia and the National Security Council.

Misha Nikolozovich offended proposal Bidzina G., either as rise on the 11th floor of the State Chancellery (and specifically there was an office of the former President of Georgia — Shevardnadze) for it is not by age, or because the proximity of the Prime Minister will weigh on the president. In the end, by the mouth of his own Press Secretary (Mrs. Mnadzhgaladze) Saakashvili said, they say, have no right! Hands off my presidential palace, which in the West, by the way, had nicknamed Caligula's Palace.

And it can realize Misha Nikolozovich: Why change the palace, in which only one bullet-proof dome, made by Italian architect De Lucchi at the behest of the Saakashvili worth over 650 thousand dollars on some compact konurku practically under the roof of the structure, built for the hated Georgia President of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of Georgia.

Ivanishvili also did not back down: he said that only one plane of President of Georgia are wasting taxpayers nearly half a million dollars per month (the president because for the most part is flying over the ocean) and is sensitive to the lowest amount of Saakashvili in his own palace nazhigaet electricity. Apparently, now the Georgian president will have to turn off the light in the bathroom and the "entrance" of his own palace, so that the counter is not shook so fast, well, with flights on their own special plane will have to be more careful. But if you do not give up, the new favorite of Georgia will include a completely different counter.

And this is Ivanishvili is not considered as the president of "Borjomi" drink per day …

So now, if you, my friends, will suddenly find yourself in Georgia and you will see a huge building with a glass dome in the windows that never burns electronic light, and in the evenings shaking Merkle lone candle light, you know — there is currently running in the new criteria Misha Saakashvili Nikolozovich . If you raise your eyes to the sky and see a Georgian in a gondola U-2 biplane man in a helmet and a reddish tie, it means Ivanishvili was able to transplant the Georgian president in more than a cheap service of aircraft …

Part II. "Let us drink, will establish the psychophysical contact …"

Hillary forgetful

Double standards — to life!

Hillary Clinton, the U.S. secretary of state, has recently been staying in Croatia, where explained to (With the introduction of lovers gegemonskih verbs) that the United States, solving the Syrian issue, will not expect a squeeze. "Do not wait", the verb with a negative particle of "do not" — this is the address in the Russian Federation, China and fellow peacemaker Lakhdar Brahimi, and "push", without the particles — this is for the "regime" of President Bashar al-Assad.

To "push" was made in full power, Mrs. Clinton saw that the efforts to create antiasadovskogo pressure will be massive, "Our efforts, the efforts of our partners in the EU and the Arab League aimed at putting pressure on the regime by strengthening and toughening sanctions gratify humanitarian needs of the Syrian people from the number of displaced persons, the provis
ion of assistance to the countries in which they seek out shelter. " And at the same time the U.S. and its partners, Clinton added, want to help the Syrian opposition "to unite around a common effective strategy that can resist the regime violence and begin to make the political transition."

To have someone to delegate the implementation of an "effective strategy" and that there was someone to "exercise the political transition," State Department offered a fairly direct way: form a "governance structure of the opposition." Feeble expatriate Syrian State Council did not justify the hopes of the South American dipvedomstva in charge of other countries, and so they decided to push it with the political representatives of the road.

Nov. 1 Washington publicly expressed his disappointment with the SNA and said the efforts that America is about to take on updating the management of the Syrian opposition. These efforts will be made is the following week, in the Qatari capital of Doha.

"We believe that an urgent need to form a governance structure of the opposition", — said State Department official dealer Patrick Ventrella, confirming previously spoken of his boss.

With sadness on her face talking about SNA, a man from the State Department noted that this group is composed of zabugornyh enemies of Bashar Assad, "failed to extend its leadership" opposition movement. The United States and other countries of the "Group of Friends of Syria" believe that SNA can continue to be involved in opposition activities, but at a meeting in Doha will present new candidates for the management of the Syrian opposition. Mr. Ventrella refrained from mentioning specific names, noting only that the main question about the people "who can engage not only organizational, and practical work."

So, all decided in Washington. Most likely, the candidates have been approved in a white house. Now there propel them into the future power of the "democratic way", ie, with the approval of the "friends" who seem to have a better understanding, it is necessary to the long-suffering people of Syria. Better than that of the people.

How different approach from that of the dictatorship knows for sure, only one Hillary.

Mr. Ventrella could not hide the fact that in Doha, in fact, planned to set up a transitional government, which over time has come to power in Syria. Gosdepovsky bureaucrat said: "After the fall of the Assad regime would require structures that will be able to manage the state and the provision of services to the public."

Surprisingly may sound to the State Department, but so far has provided excellent services to the population, Bashar al-Assad, his army and the bouncer kicks militia and mercenaries from the towns and villages of Syria. Protege of the USA seems to be to provide services to Washington, and not to the people of Syria.

Everything, including the Washington officials are well aware that the policy of "establishing governing structures" does not mean that the other is the establishment of overseas priklnnyh or controlled by American governments. You can not say that in the course of the "Arab Spring" Washington brilliantly headed for this purpose, but it's safe to see that he did not give up on it. Dictatorial "leader" incurable. Exactly how are inevitable and the same double standards that have long become second nature of American government senior managers.

In the middle of October, Hillary Clinton said"We recognize that the transition to democracy in the Middle East is not a matter of the United States …" And not just anywhere in a private conversation in a pub on Capitol hill after two or three cocktails she said, and at a meeting at the Center for Strategic and International research in Washington.

Oh so intricately think in the capital of the world! On the one hand, immediately forming the governance structure of the opposition, on the other — this is not the South American business.

Whose is it, I'm sorry, is it? Maybe Qatar? Do not tell the world community, Mr. and Mrs. of the State Department!

Flying zapivoha

The South American tradition in Okinawa

Hard to serve away from home. Difficult for everyone — and Russian, and the Europeans, and Africans and Australians. But somehow bear, and only the Americans can not stand. Some, reportedly believes that the Stars and Stripes valiant warrior mentality special: foreign land in huge portions it does not transfer. There are, in general, and a different world: being under a foreign flag and even with a gun in his trousers, a grenade on his belt and the number plates on the neck, so to speak, with some regalia and opportunities begin to imagine the brave Yankees themselves as representatives of the highest civilization. However, this somehow spreading their assessment with the assessment that gives them lower the natives — for example, the inhabitants of the country of the rising sun from Okinawa.

November 2 young South American military pilot was sitting at the bar and yield. Already in the morning, inflated to the obfuscation, the 24-year-old Mr. climbed to the third floor of the hotel and something broke into the room, located above the bar. The pilot pulled into the room 13-year-old boy, hit him, and later broke the telly … and jumped out of the window.

Perhaps under the influence of magic fumes of whiskey that Mr. decided that it is in the plane and landing gear removed, and a lot of fuel in the tanks, but the reality is tough objection made drunk. With broken bones and bruised internal organs flyer-loser was taken to the infirmary at the military base.

Living in the country of the rising sun were not able to appreciate a string of outstanding deeds flying zapivohi. Instead of mass worship of the South American Icarus and his entry into the annals of history and mythology of this extraordinary man dashed off a complaint through the Japanese Foreign Ministry.

"Icarus" deboshirskuyu known only continued the tradition in Okinawa. In the middle of October, two U.S. Marines raped a lady were arrested police. This incident also happened in the morning — and the Marines as a pilot, all night pumped alcohol.

Earlier in August, Okinawa was taken into custody Sergeant USMC — for assaulting a local woman. In 2006, on charges of raping a double to 9 years was put behind bars officer U.S. Air Force base. In 1995, three U.S. military kidnapped and raped a 12-year-old Japanese schoolgirl.

Peace man from Uganda

New approaches to the protection of the military

On Wednesday this week, it became clear for the South American brand new method to overcome the crisis in the security of military business. However, how to save on the lookout, at the same time with the press found out and the U.S. Department of Justice.

It turns out that even in the past year against personal company engaged in defense contracts, sued last employee of this office Omar Badr. The company is called «Triple Canopy», and it is registered in Reston, VA (USA). Now to the lawsuit joined the Ministry of Justice of a free and democratic country, where crooks all are open all abilities.

Angered friend Badr in its own complaint wrote that «Triple Canopy» represented phony test results of their own employees and that its so-called watchmen — very low-skilled workers.

In June 2009, the Unified Command in Iraq and Afghanistan (JCC-I / A), is engaged in issues of contracts, signed with «Triple Canopy» one-year contract at the cost o
f 10 million dollars. The company had to provide security, "al-Assad" — the second-largest air base in Iraq.

Now federal bureaucrats from the U.S. Justice say that «Triple Canopy» purposely hired as watchmen foreign people — those who were not able to pass the test of qualification, required in accordance with the contract. The soldiers came from Uganda number a few hundred, as the court pointed out that Comrade Badr provided as a guard contingent «Triple Canopy», do not really know how to use a firearm. Watchmen hired to protect the base, could neither accurately nor harmless shoot an AK-47 or any other weapon. Simply put, if what these men will shoot an AK or U.S. assault rifles in all directions.

Interestingly, as saying the South American authorities, managers «Triple Canopy» not only falsified the results of tests of their own "security guards" — for the sake of lucrative Iraq contract — and continued to bill the government even after the top leaders in the company's headquarters were warned of misconduct.

Not much of a complaint friend Badr stated that «Triple Canopy» used fake qualifications of its staff, trying to convince JCC-I renew the contract on the air base, "al-Assad" for the second year!

"For a government contractor … it's impossible … especially in time of war," — says Stewart delirium, Acting Assistant Attorney General for the civilian affairs of the Ministry of Justice.

Attitude of the U.S. administration to «Triple Canopy», changed, perhaps only because the United States began testing missions abroad related to the terrorist attack on the office in Benghazi. In other words, if I did not kill the ambassador and three other persons, the South American facilities abroad would continue to protect people who can not shoot.

The company «Triple Canopy» known and something else. In 2011, at the time when it was condemned Omar Badr, it won 159 millionth Pentagon contract to provide security in Afghanistan. Although the authorities of this country specifically accused «Triple Canopy» of abuse (in the newspaper "Washington Post" they referred to "Indeterminate serious crimes"). In the end, the company was one of the finalists for the best gospodryadchika conducted by official Washington.

If the company was listed as one of the best, then what are the worst?

Zombieland!

Zombies and terrorists have a lot in common

Exercises within the counter-terrorism summit in San Diego (CA), which began on the eve of Halloween and ending on November 1, were scheduled in September. It was prepared by 44 acres of land on the peninsula, and Brad Barker, president of HALO security company and one of the organizers of the exercise, said, that the ability to conduct effective combat soldiers must be trained on the "threat" that teaches "respond to all". And honestly warned, saying that now was "very scary." He nodded Michael Hayden, the last CIA director.

The president's office did not lie.

In the area of Paradise Point Resort … invaded by zombies. Hordes of the undead have tried to devour all life in their path, but the brave "sea lion" in alliance with other soldiers and police a total of 1000 people running the government and local officials reflected the two-day attack. To hit the approaching zombies or clear the "walking" area, fighters fired persons room temperature on the forehead, trying to hit the brain.

To make the exercise very close to reality, was simulated "Federal incident." In all forty-four acres of Paradise Point Resort turned Hollywood scenery — right up to a rural community that is common to these places, and even the "Pirate Bay". On the make-up of funds is also not spared. Who said that the crisis in America?

The exercise scenario simulated a very long time in collaboration with South American Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the administration of which has in the past year, announced the country's citizens that they should be prepared for the invasion of predatory creatures.

Mr. Barker on October 31, confirmed: "Without a doubt, when will" zombie apocalypse ", it will have the scope of the federal incident …"

In his view, shows and films made for television, and could assist the American public, and the troops in the fight against zombies. This would require the people, because the sudden tragic actions, including their natural disasters and terrorist acts, uncertainty surrounds.

Brad Barker says: "Nobody is clear that the zombies will do in each case, but popravde, no one knows how to behave and terrorists … For example, a police officer saw a zombie and said to him:" Stop, raise your hands! "What zombie will do in response? Yes it will just growl. Now imagine that you have met with a drug addict, substance abuse, or any offender. Well, how to you know how you react to it? "

In the CDC as its campaign to combat zombies and verbovaniyu such makarom people's attention explained to small budget.

The campaign office recommended the Yankees to stock up on fresh water per one gallon per person per day, the products of long-term storage, a battery-powered radios and blankets. In the CDC decided, "Why not give the people what they want?"

It is already connected to this department and the Department of State Security, in September organized a webinar on preparing against the "zombie apocalypse."

Vorachivayas to the teachings of the peninsula, where out of scrap materials Hollywood were built entire communities and city streets, let's ask one small question. If Mr. Barker associates addict or a terrorist in some sense a zombie, he does not propose that the South American society a particular method of getting rid of those undefined behavior?

After all, the only way to destroy the zombies — break his bullet head.

* "Up to what some people are kind to someone else's greedy" — a phrase from the cartoon "Three from Buttermilk"

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