Results of the week. Who are you to reign, for example, the last one? No one? So I — the first!

Part I. "The main part of each instrument has a head of its owner"

Healthy and educated Military-Industrial Commission

Who went to the new composition of the Government of the Russian military-industrial complex?

The portal of the Government of the Russian Federation in the week was posted refreshed the Military-Industrial Commission. The composition, as usual, turned out to be an impressive and presentable. Now MIC organization and coordination of various federal bodies of executive power in terms of addressing the issues of military-industrial, military and logistical support of Defense, as the security and development of the law enforcement system in the state will decide 60. As the saying goes, one head perfectly, and sixty, of course, better. Especially since the 60 heads that are well versed in the military-industrial issues, have a wealth of experience in the coordination of the federal authorities in full accordance with the municipal laws. The head of the commission again defined Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin, who must coordinate the actions themselves coordinators in the MIC. And who is in the subordinate coordinators? Do not be one hundred percent result in a list of members of the military-industrial complex, as every curious reader can find it on the website of the Russian government, and only touch on some of its sides.

Military-Industrial Commission. Well, of course — the Minister of Defence, the Chief of Staff, Director of the defense industry, the director Rosoboronzakaz, Minister of Industry and Minister of even money. But in the midst of 60 members show up and personalities such as, for example, Dmitry Livanov (head of the Ministry of Education and Science) or Veronica Skvortsov (Minister of Health).

No, of course, no one is going to argue that the increase in the efficiency of the defense industry of education, science and health are the most important. But if so, why is the Minister of Health sets the number of permanent members in the military-industrial complex, and the Minister of Livanov destined only chair in the middle of 37 ordinary members of the committee (ie variables)? And what is the specific task in particular those members of the military-industrial complex? Apparently, there may be a situation where the MIC utter all, pretty, Dmitry V., you done the trick, and further military industry in Education and Science does not need …

Well, in general, to be honest, it's hard to imagine being, that the bureaucrats of education and health took an active role in the discussions about the development of the military-industrial sector. Attend the commission, naturally, they can, but only what their constructive suggestions will be made in the case of considering the continuation or termination of the procurement, unmanned aircraft in Israel or the logistics of repair capacity of the Ministry of Defence. Maybe everything will be something like this:

— Gentlemen, we are going to create a plan for military-technical support of the country, according to which must be purchased endtsat new submarines for up to two thousand endtsatogo year.

And here suddenly stands up and says Veronika Skvortsova: Gentlemen, good plan, but I am against, as your submarines can contaminate the waters of our seas, which is bad for quality seafood that is consumed in a meal of our citizens. And so — my word as a doctor: "No!"

And all in one voice: Well, again against Veronica Igorivna means we delete from the list of subs …

Or so.

— Gentlemen, we have to accept the directive, according to which our companies need to reduce the production of missiles for air defense missile systems to the entire X, Y-10's of thousands of units per year.

Education Minister gets Livanov and suddenly says: sorry, not reduce, and optimize …

Thank you, Dmitry V., for exactly the look for the term … and they're read: why Livanov, why Lebanon? He's, as needed!

If so, it must also, for example, the head doctor in the health committee include: suddenly the 1st member of the food poisoning in the cafeteria or barking cough befall …

IQ (IQ) small — normal flight

The Ministry of Education takes over the "best" experience

Meanwhile, Education Minister Dmitry Livanov with the 59th other members of the military-industrial complex discusses the issues of improving the military-industrial sphere of, weird collisions occur with the very Russian education. Namely, according to oral declarations of Russian authorities to make such a re-orientation of the education system Makarov, that the country "not frightened" of lawyers and economists (in other words, people who have received appropriate "crust" in the obscure branches more obscure schools) Our homeland defected to the model, whose specialty workers would be appreciated no less, for example, office. More than once a large crowd voiced speech that will be enough, he says, produce office plankton, which wipes trousers in the unfolding of solitaire "Solitaire," you must cross a benign preparation of personnel: Metalworkers, welders, machinists, assemblers of electronic equipment, etc. etc. In other words — a system developed by Prof. initial and secondary education. But the new federal standard of education to the adopted law on education, to say the least, striking. In 1-x, the law professor source system of education is not regulated at all, in other words it seems to be already there, in-2, university education crosses the traditional Western system with nedobakalavrami and polumagistrami. As at the Western system, from which the West itself is already crying.

So as not to be unfounded, rather an example of the United States of America, where soon sounded the alarm even the army. It was found that 16% of American young people in the middle of the so-called snow-white population and about 40% in the middle of the African-American (sorry, black) last year were not able to answer even the 30 questions in the test of 99 (kind of lightweight test IQ), to be eligible for passage of contract service … With all of this in a certain amount of "competitors" in the pockets diplomas were very popular by the standards of the U.S. college …

In other words, it turns out our Ministry of Education has decided to take all the "best" in the West as a "best practice" and move to the Russian reality: the initial vocational education to eliminate the connection of educational institutions of vocational temper with production enterprises reduced to absolute zero, higher education prof " zaoptimizirovat "to the ground, and then … And then — a 30% unfit for military service due to health in Russia be added to the same 30% who did not pass the test the level of initial education (by experience and likeness of the United States) …

And while all these laws of the Russian Federation Ministry of Education promoted in the same structure worked in a specific manner such sovereign, as Felix Shamkhalov (HAC Chairman and Distinguished Scientist with 30 years — is not that "some" Kapitza), which cooperated lucrative career activities stamping "scabs" for the "fake" candidates and medical sciences with a more profitable activities embezzlement of funds for conducting a personal construction business. Indeed, not Kapitsa … Now Shamkhalov arrested. Perhaps, specifically after the arrest of Felix Imiraslanovicha find time to confirm validity of theses certain circle of people without protezhirovaniya and kopipasta …

Ruble in fact worth more?

The economy must be "burg

The world economic crisis forces the use of the new levers of economic recovery or to find ways of determining stability or instability of currencies. In the week was posted as a new report called "burgeronomiki", which evaluates the different currencies of the world are not using oil, gold or production characteristics, and using such products, "McDonald's", as "Big Mac." Studies that catchy, conduct at all those people with reddish peaks that are on duty at 300 times a day are required to yell something like "Free Cash!", And a very prominent economists.

Namely, a similar study is undertaken by such notable in the West magazine as «The Economist». So now, according to the research of this magazine, it appears that one of the most undervalued currencies in the world is with you our Russian ruble. How did you know? Methods about this: to compare the cost of the "Big Mac" in Russian, "McDonald's" with the price of the same, God forgive me, the product of American institutions. By associating specifically for this scheme, it turns out that "our", "Big Mac" in terms of their currency worth 2.43 dollar (73.26 p.) And "them", "Big Mac" without any translation — 4 37 bucks. Prices of such imbalances South American economists conclude that the Russian ruble is underestimated by almost half the world market, in other words the cost of bucks now should be less than 16 rubles for one gray-green one.

It would seem, from that assessment Russians should begin to dance and led dances with a smirk on his face. After all, kind of like us right now appreciated. However … By undervalued currencies by big South American experts at Makovsky's standards and still carried the Chinese yuan, Indian rupee, South African rand, the Argentine peso, the Ukrainian hryvnia and a dozen currencies. But the dollar and the euro — the currency which, according to the same «The Economist'a" evaluated correctly …

In other words, in the U.S., we are trying to say that it is time to urgently increase the rate of your currency to allow the goods from the European Union and the United States just flood the shelves of Russian stores (as was the case in the first half of the 90s). Our eastern neighbors, the Chinese Washington says this is not the first year. But the "Chinese", "Big Mac", yet inflexible. Almost as "ours." Americans do not know that the price of Russian version of the "Big Mac" is included, and still going to the toilet in the "McDonald's" the people who close to free space for the administration of natural needs and have not found … So «The Economist'u" will have to recalculate …

Ramzan Kadyrov: faithful record

On how to report to the head of the country

In the week accomplished Russian President Vladimir Putin and the head of the Chechen Republic Ramzan Kadyrov. It was accomplished after Vladimir Putin announced the return of illegal claims money from the inhabitants of Krymsk those who received the money in error settlement agencies. On the one hand the promise of President Putin looks noble, but the other is that the indulgence received, and those who at one time just fooled the Government, fished funds fraudulently. And on the testimony of their residents Krymsk such scams in the town was a lot. The result was a quixotic situation where disaster scammers cashed, and the government of cheating them simple. Once it is very noble, when you consider that some inhabitants of the town, the victim of a terrible flood, so far trying to get laid payments …

But back to the meeting of Vladimir Putin and Ramzan Kadyrov. Especially since it gives a very sensual encounter — in the main by the head of the Chechen Republic.

While the president tried to delve into the essence of the changes that have occurred in the near future in Chechnya, Ramzan Kadyrov depict all colorful paints. If the meeting was attended stenographers, then they would hardly have time for Ramzan Ahmatovich, assured the head of the country is that in Chechnya is not only the most efficient economy in the whole of Russia, but also the most transparent in the country's budget. In the words of Kadyrov turned out that in the Chechen Republic for the entire year 2012 was not committed any of the 1st act of terrorism, and teachers began to receive a salary that is not immediately carry her out, and so they have to vorachivatsya to school about 25 times in month with unemployment … if not finished, almost. It remains to employ almost exclusively Astemir of Achhoy-Martan Abdulmuslimov of Argun and Gudermes of Madina … And the fact that in the harsh light can suddenly without a descent remain 135 thousand inhabitants, so unless there is a need to mention at such general Chechen idyll …

In Russia returned the "roof" of the underground business

"Luck" for ex-prosecutor

In the week in their native Russian hearth and back, perhaps the most famous ex-prosecutor of the Russian Federation (after the person that is similar to the former Attorney General Skuratova) — Alexander Ignatenko. He returned to the will of the 1st of the most humane courts of the world — the Polish court. Poles decided to send the ex-prosecutor, which in Russia is very expected in connection with his involvement in the so-referred to as the gambling business, "home." With all of this Polish Themis gave the sovereign Ignatenko Moscow only after Moscow itself promised to remove the ex-prosecutor all allegations of fraud, and just throw the charge of taking a bribe.

Alexander Ignatenko, which many Russians know on a series of photos at the banquet table in the arms of the owner of a network of underground casinos in Moscow Ivan Nazarov, his own guilt, usually, does not recognize and do not realize the word "bribe". "Vyatka, pen, Signet" — realizes a "bribe" — no …

In addition, Alexander Ignatenko decided to use a fashionable option for today's times of communication with the investigating authorities — namely, silence. If we are in Russia ex-ministers are silent, then why former prosecutors shut up "in conversation" with the investigators can not … However, the ex-ministers can topstitch something on paper, but the former prosecutor and it failed. Maybe it for months in the clink Polish Russian began to forget? Naturally, you will forget, when all around for you then, "wheat", the "bzhe" …

Meanwhile, a lawyer Ignatenko sovereign states also that his client for time spent in the Polish "torture chambers" found a whole bunch of diseases that can really knock down the ex-prosecutor, if it will "press" and the Russian Themis. With all of this, many who had the opportunity to behold Ignatenko after his stay in those Polish jails, state that, at least on the outside, past the prosecutor looks very cool — in the prosecutor's for you … No tattoos on the phalanges, no fix. Maybe there was criminal slang, but who checks — the ex-prosecutor is silent …

But for the time spent in Poland, Ignatenko obviously had time to understand such a word as "prison". In Polish it looks like «wiezienie». Here on this is the "luck" (and is completely in Polish) Alexander Ignatenko counts and in Russia. Precedents in fact that a lot of …

Part II. "And you will be cured, and you will be cured. And I will be cured "

True to life without the Chinese "Ferrari" and "Rolex"

Rejecting the bribe, and give up the luxury

The essence of a clear and collated policy —
in the unity of those who are conducting this policy, in other words, implements the full consent and without democratic delays that are just torn vector management, making a straight line to the absurd twists and leaving a lot terry lobbyists and bribe-takers matured.

Chinese media regulator — municipal management of Radio and Television (State Administration of Radio, Film and Television) — a logic can not refuse. SARFT in accordance with the general line of the party ordered to TV channels and radio stations remove of broadcast advertising of expensive gifts.

The ban followed right behind the management of the country meeting on February 4. Favorites of China advised citizens to be economically and avoid waste. It was also said to continue the fight against corruption. Earlier, in the autumn of last year, employees in the PRC were officially prohibited from accepting expensive gifts and spend money on banquets.

So Makar, the municipal department for radio and television have taken note of the Secretary-General's call PDA Xi Jinping to strengthen the fight against corruption. In late January, the Secretary General said, you have to fight not only with the "tigers" — high-ranking officials, bribery, and "fleas" — low-ranking civil servants, too, violate the law.

Advertisement luxury, said SARFT, promotes the wrong values and forms the infamous public standards.

Behind all this is viewed rejection of the values of the consumer society, adopted in the United States and Western Europe. Also clearly visible policy of smoothing sharp social boundaries: because in China lives 251 Baksova billionaire while at the same time, in rural areas there are 128 million poor people whose annual income per person is the least 2.3 million yuan ($ 368). Continue application rate, the government announced a small example program to increase the level of wages in the PRC. By 2015, in the towns, it is expected to grow by almost 40% and the number of poor people in the country should be reduced by 80 million

There is another purpose of which, you see, is not explicitly stated. PDA solutions and carrying them out SARFT, has imposed a ban on televising bottles of liquor elitist cost of a few hundred bucks or a gold watch, removes an excuse for a nasty feeling that may have arisen from the poor citizen gaze at the screen. This feeling — not necessarily envy or hatred, forcing the store to fill the cartridges for AK. Exactly like "Facebook" brings Europeans, addicted to consumerism and the "success" to the black melancholy and depression caused by contact with fellow careerists, Chinese television offering a "Ferrari" by 99.9% of the audience, inadvertently give poor city dwellers realize that they either were not born at the time and in the wrong place, or good luck with the birth of turns to him ass.

Another thing now: zolotishko and alcohol for 500 bucks declared in bad taste and even fell under the ban.

Narrow allusion to Obama

McCain does not distinguish between the President of the monkeys

Not so long ago, the Iranian flew into space monkeys. Americans uttered that returned from space is not the monkeys, with hair a different color and no moles. Well, God bless them, with the Yankees. Following the monkeys into orbit, and then to a meeting with extraterrestrial intelligence in the cool of the planet Pluto decided to go comrade Ahmadinejad. As the president of Iran, he said the willingness to be the first astronaut in the Islamic Republic.

And here again the Americans got into business. The white-haired Republican McCain secretly sympathetic to the Ku Klux Klan, under the pillow holding that battered «Mein Kampf», and at night continues intolerable "narrow-eyed" that bad privechali his Vietnamese pit, in a rather acute explained to the international community in the British language, which de Mahmood in space was last week.

Senator entered the "Twitter" and wrote, "Ahmadinejad wants to be the first Iranian in space? Had he not been there the last week? "

And to blunt countrymen in general and the people of the world, that they read on the Web forefront of our language, it is best realized his idea, he provided its own "tweet" referring to the news about the launch into space biokapsuly with monkeys.

Try as he might be intelligible McCain, it is still not realized. Countrymen dubbed him as a man who does not know how to behave, xenophobic and racist.

Earlier Paleface 76-year-old Republican senator has been under attack society — for example, for having publicly praised the constant U.S. representative to the UN, Susan Rice as a special, which "does not possess the mind." For this he was denounced not only racist, but also sexist.

McCain should know that Washington, not including McCain himself, mind shines only one person? No, not Obama. And it is not Mitt Romney, whom last year's elections sick senator. This shining — Jon Favreau, the writer of speeches Mr. Obama. President dare to imagine not say without the help of any other sentence, except for theses on the invention of the automobile in the United States and the existence of 57 states in the U.S. — but here, in both cases he missed the point. Specifically, Jon Favreau, loyal speechwriter, urged the South American people on a victorious war with Libya. This Favreau Obama thanked the mouth in 2009, the Nobel committee issued for upfront bonus money. And it's Favreau, with 23 years working for Obama in the end could not stand stagnation white houses, retired and moved to Hollywood, where his talents will be appreciated.

So still in the "tweet" McCain had overlooked the global community, we have to glue the old senator and veteran yarlychek "racist"?

If John McCain believes monkeys Iranian president, to the order of any cloven-hoofed equates Senator black U.S. president?

Detroit government as a social laboratory

Cost of citizenship — 300,000 dollars

Detroit is about to appear brand new civilization. Unless, of course, its potential representatives scrape on citizenship means.

The founding father of modern civilization Rodney Lockwood, a big businessman, working in real estate, going to buy Belle Isle, a park area of 400 hectares. Having it in personal property, which, given the empty city coffers crumbling town, completely can happen, it will work to reincarnation in the park … beyond government.

Already assigned value for citizenship — 300 thousand dollars. No, you did not realized: no commerce. Funds means, and Lockwood's goal — "to create economic and social laboratory for a society that is able to perfectly solve some of the major problems of the Yankees and the entire Western world."

The entrepreneur believes that the authorities Detroit Belle Isle sell a group of investors for billions of dollars. The peninsula is built up and converted into a city-state with a population of 35 thousand people. It will operate its own laws, customs, and will have its own currency. Brand new country will be under the supervision of the United States (and, of course, to enter into an alliance of states). On the banks of the Detroit River latter-day utopian XXI century is going to build a factory. Somehow, the company will be here from all over the world with their capitals. Moreover, local government expenditures will be limited to 10% or less of GDP: more waste is not allowed "dictatorship of the constitution."

By the way, three hundred thousand Yank
ees is not enough to vsepolnotsenno settle in a new country. For a plot of land would have to pay separately. Over 300 thousand sold only one "core value" modern civilization, according to Lockwood and myself — "respect for all its citizens, regardless of the position of the public."

— Do you respect me? Give me three thousand!

As with all previous plans utopian project Lockwood are lacking detail. Judge for yourself: the people who will lay out three hundred thousand green just for citizenship, and even certain number for a piece of land (and if a piece is more, for a factory, then they lay out a lot of time on three thousand), to work on Belle Isle will not be . Not those are the people that would delight awakened at four in the morning, sgryzli least three crusts of bread and cry of the factory chimney, cheerfully singing the "Internationale," pokopotili to the tram stop.

Consequently, the 35,000 people of the new Detroit — all millionaires. Who will work? The creator of the utopian project leaves this question open.

Leo Tolstoy, analyzing the works of Marxists could not learn: who in the bright future, crowded the highest consciousness, will clean the latrines and clean water closet? Ivan Bunin wrote in his memoirs that Tolstoy read fourteen thousand books. And if the sage of Yasnaya Polyana did not realize how far will pan happy society, then we forgivable to wonder: what are the Chinese or the Mexicans will require factories of the country Belle Isle in order to assure the well-fed and ease the lives of those 30 May tyscham millionaires that want to that smoking cane, the bamboo whip those who are not subject to the "dictatorship of the constitution"?

Eight Putin and 6 obama

Geopolitical last degree of astigmatism

In the West they say that Comrade Putin was at least 6. Some (more credible) specialists operate the number eight. Vladimir Vladimirovich is very different. If in 2000 the rules of the first VV P., now sits on the throne of the fifth or seventh. Maybe they alternate, arranging for himself and picnics on the weekend of Kremlin glades. You never know which of them are dealing with. Before starting the dialogue, we have to determine what the hearing room bowed in front of you. One thing the old man of the year 2000, which is blessed by a democratic kingdom, Boris Yeltsin, and quite another — this youthful style, in front of which Crouch Obama today.

Specialists of the Russian Federation Fiona Hill and Clifford Gaddy, Brookings Institution, prepared to the publication of the book «Mr. Putin: Operative in the Kremlin »(« Mr. Putin: agent in the Kremlin "). Creators calculated 6 Putin statesman History Man, Fighter for survival, Outsider, Negotiator and operative. To this list is added Macho and fierce autocrat.

What unites all eight types because it is the desire to impress fellow Putin sheepish America, the West need in Russia is much larger than our native land — in the West.

In the end, experts are coming to the U.S. are not very comforting to the conclusion that deal with Putin hard: after all, he knows what he wants!

So Makar, the Americans acknowledged Putin whole person.

Another thing — Mr. Obama. In the book, not the number of individuals studied Obama, and to no avail. In the one side of the coin, the eminent South American analysts have lost sight of the other.

Let's ask ourselves a question: how many obama in white house?

First, angry pacifist, an opponent of torture and supporter of peace in the world, promised before the presidential election in 2008 to close the Guantanamo jail tseerushnuyu and enter repealed in 2004, control of the trade instrument. Control of all input, despite the almost daily gunfire in the United States, and of bullpen work. This Obama — the common representative of the political establishment, professing double standards. In 2009 he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize — Western standard silver coins that are issued in advance.

2nd person Obama is fighting terrorism around the world — from Libya to Iran. Even Syria, and she comes to the United States to the list of state sponsors of terrorism. At the moment, this version of Obama's thought about the inclusion in the list of North Korea. There, they say, not a good cartoon about America showed.

Here there is the third Obama — the future Caliph, a specific Islamist rival supporter of the Declaration of Independence and the municipal Sharia honoring portrait of bin Laden (who was killed by the second number), and the living of his successor al-Zawahiri. Friday for him — is sacred, specifically why Obama often misses the hidden meeting, scheduled for this day of the week. Bearded Obama third — in arafatki, with an AK-47 in one hand and the green flag of Islam to another, belted machine gun belt and hung with grenades, starring against the burning embassy in Benghazi — a collective image of a fighter for the world sharia.

Obama is the fourth — a real Yankee, cracking homemade beer and eating fatty junk food. Who are his wife, no one knows, but not Michelle advocate of healthy eating and initsiatorsha campaign to rid the U.S. Army from fat people. Obama number 4 could often meet during the election campaign in 2012. This is the usual tipsy young man in a black cap, with a rather short haircut and a frowning gaze, just dinner pork ribs in a spicy sauce and "forget" to pay for them.

Fifth president, who is known in Russia as Huseynovich Barack Obama graduated from sometime in the USSR Institute of Friendship of Peoples of Patrice Lumumba, and later made a spirited career in the KGB, which continued in the FSB. While in the year 2004, which is incorporated into the South American Senate, so far right is the agent of Comrade Putin. Under Obama number 5 were neutralized senators hawks such as McCain (lost the election in 2008), has failed campaign Hillary Clinton (Obama's first protege) in the occupation of Syria, and the Qataris and the Saudis did not wait for the command to bring down the price of oil to fall apart vospryanuvshuyu Russia. In the coming years, an agent of the Kremlin plans to implement tasks set by loosening the upcoming Fed increased municipal debt increased to U.S. inflation and the continued construction of Stalin's camps. The Department of Homeland Security will speed up the purchase of ammunition, and opposition leader Alex Jones from the website will pull the remaining hair on the head, instead of trying to count harvested in the country of plastic coffins — for those Yankees who vote against joining newcomer to the United States and the Soviet Union would refuse to work in Atlantic branch of the Gulag for the benefit of the latest Russian homeland.

In the end, the second Obama — it's Losers-type lawyer Bill Gates, not without parental ties and means to arrange for a cushy job in Washington. Unlike George W. Bush, on the radio, he appears occasionally to the world map approach avoids, and reads a lot and not all of a piece of paper. What he says at times funny mangling accents and transcription, written by his speechwriter — Jon Favreau. Now John goes to work in Hollywood (Barack Hussein fees it did not spoil), white houses and the administration has hired a new president poor writer — Cody Keenan. Earlier this man invented funeral speech. He was also seen with performances at the funeral where the wind filled the musical pauses.

Yes, you have correctly figured. Stroll rumors that 5 obama for America is quite enough. Our homeland is a rich enough to feed eight Putin, and the U.S. monetary crisis rages. In addition, all of America sighs, she would have someone like the Russian president, such clear and purposeful itself — instead of this, slivers …

* "Who are you to reign, for example, the last one? No one? So I — first "- a phrase from the cartoon" Falling under the bridge. "

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