Results of the week. You want to live — not so raskoryachishsya

Part I. Fire, water and copper pipes

Results of the week.  You want to live - not so raskoryachishsyaSmell powder

Attorney General's Office found the cause of the fire and explosion in Orenburg arsenal. It should be recalled that on June 11 columns of fire and deadly fireworks shot up over the military objective of the Southern Urals, with the result that the arsenal was one hundred percent destroyed, the people of closely spaced villages had to urgently evacuate. Reported, but what a state of emergency has not resulted in casualties.

So here, prosecutors almost a couple of days were able to identify that the premise of fire could be smoking any of the military personnel — the man who carried out the activities for the export of ammunition. In addition, spices found that many of ammunition were stored improperly and in general have been thrown, what is called, in the open air. Well, the question is, what did hurt supervisory authorities to establish the facts of improper storage of gunpowder, bullets and shells to fire at the arsenal, ask, perhaps, will not. As you know, It is not good dancer is always something interferes.

Let's be glad for the efficiency of the work and for the fact that, apparently, one of the investigators was so big-eyed, that he had discovered that unfortunate butt from which it all blew up. In general, prosecutors fellows have worked in the prosecutor's.

Another huge "well done" — the part of the commanders that served the military arsenal near Orenburg. Once it became clear that the prerequisite fire was extinguished cigarette, emerges the image of a soldier who committed "a little work" with ammunition. Practice saying the soldier carrying ammunition from place to place, then sat down on the open barrels of gunpowder, put to best stop accidentally rolled up on his feet somewhere combat round (according to the version of the prosecution), pulled from the pocket soldier's satisfaction — Cigarette "Prima", struck a match and lit a cigarette. Cigarette smoke soldier reminded of home … felt sad … He stubbed out the cigarette on the edge of the open drawer of mine and went back home for himself, and behind him was underway … but a fighter as a hero Bruce Willis, not even scratched from hundreds of bombings and 10 s splashes , but suffered three civilians — the inhabitants of Surrounding the village is a few kilometers from the epicenter.

In general, if the founding fathers of the commanders of the knowledge related to smoking soldier at a military arsenal and "powder placers" in the open air — it is a case that is close to the clinical. If we assume that the terrain is not smoked arsenal of fighters and civilians suffered the same person, by the fathers of the commanders there is not less questions.

In the end, you can say something we do with the military depots and arsenals in the country is not so. At some smoke in the other rounds of the pyramid build. Maybe at some even underground video arcade acts or VIP-sauna "With a twinkle"? ..

Favorite Caucasian traditions in the Ministry of Defence

Once again, the Russian Ministry of Defense has decided not to appeal to the military service of young people from the North Caucasus Federal neighborhood. Speaking more directly, the services specifically Caucasian men in the department refused. The reason for such decision was the fact that the Ministry of Defence said Caucasians those who provokes hazing cases in the Armed Forces. Military prosecutors cheerfully convey that here, they say, slowly get rid of Caucasians in the army, and hazing smoothly fading away. On the one hand, all, of course, looks great and smooth, but there is another side of the coin, you can see at a certain angle intrigued face.

Results of the week.  You want to live - not so raskoryachishsya

After all, it w as a temptation for numerous objectors — suddenly take and declare themselves ethnic Avars or Chechens get a mark for registration in Makhachkala or severe as to later by its own district military office (at the place of registration) to go with a satisfied face. Yes, in principle, the level of corruption, which, sadly, there are now in our country, you can even in any harsh not to travel to Makhachkala, just stay in your own cozy apartment of central Russia. Well I, say, in my heart has always been an Avar, and now here's another thanks to a joyful coincidence events registered in some places at the foot of the Caucasus Mountains, but it happened — I live in the Russian capital of Moscow city-hero. Here, in case of need and will accept Mohammedanism, if only one hundred percent to merge with the "brothers" of the Southern regions.

At the same time, the Ministry of Defense, and more precisely, the education department of the agency, said that in today's year as cadets of military schools will enroll about 8,000 students. Everything would be fine, but that's the kind of discrimination is: there is not a 1st word of the same Caucasian youth. Apparently, the Ministry of Defence believe that hazing in the military universities do not happen at all, and Caucasian students — this is for you not to Caucasian men. First, as you can see, white and shaggy, and the second — well, just completely thugs, hoodlums and generally adepts neustavschiny.

In general, it is necessary to establish the fact that Minooborony just sign in their own weakness against the suppression of hazing, even if the annual service life. After single stereotype every single young men from the Caucasus — it's more like trying to exclude himself from the actual restore order in the army.

Apparently, the subsequent decision of the Defense Ministry will order to urge the Russian army only young boys with an academic background in the background, and the ability to play the violin and recite at least the Johann Wolfgang Goethe during combat training. And in addition, it would not be excessive, that these men were the first sports categories and still know by heart the Carnegie psychology textbook — and could be without the help of others, without the participation of the officers put out internal conflicts. But even here, in the end, the two privates with a PhD can fiddle at the club is not part of the divide and let's — "on the kettle on bonce" … And again it w headache for the Ministry of …

Pension Fund: I'm losing weight

Well, finally breathe deeply without exception Russian elderly, because Big Brother is represented by the Ministry of Labour decided to take care of them completely and finally. Brand new idea of pension reform will not lead to an increase in mandatory retirement age, which is, of course, can only amuse. Retirement functionaries decided to go a different method and to find new sources to replenish slimming pension fund.

Results of the week.  You want to live - not so raskoryachishsya

Pension Fund of the Russian Federation (pronounced alive, with a smirk on his face and a sing-song — as in the famous advertisement) cheerfully brings that from now on all Russian elderly people heal, as in the parable. After his release, he will be well-deserved rest (us) financial fortune in the form of 40% of average earnings, while the 40% is not there any poor 40% as well as convince the bureaucrats, and the most significant real money that will cover almost all ordinary expenses Russian pensioner who wants and utility bills to pay and food to support themselves and, you never know, break into foreign tourist on a trip somewhere so exotic island.

In general, the picture is rosy for real, with spouting elements. But once there is a question that dark cloud bursts into the blue sky painted a brisk brush painters of the Pension Fund. And this question is, and who is actually speaking, would ensure that the welfare of the elderly Russian lately. And then the minister of labor and social development provides an accurate and specific answer: money will come from where no one expected. Finally begin to bring pension contributions such categories of people like nurses, kleyschitsy envelopes at home, migrant workers from friendly countries of the former Soviet Union, "fish is" with stations and other categories of people. And it is, indeed, how far such a bright idea occurred to anyone before did not come. Well this is how alone Moldovan and Tajik donors Pension Fund will be able to do much good for Russian grandparents, so they were able to anything for themselves do not deny.

By the way, for the growth of collection of funds in the treasury minister TOPILIN FIU can go and still further: finally legalize prostitution, along with gun and drug trafficking. Then the flow of pension contributions can simply inflate the pension coffers to unusual volumes. Yes, our seniors and then the Japanese, and the U.S. just tucked in his belt … However, in this case, will have to pay a pension to retired prostitutes and couriers who have spent their lives at the "press" in nightclubs.

Ministry of Labor and Social Development on the proposals for the payment of pension contributions from guest workers and other stops. Promotional curve continues to emerge greenish color of joy and skyrocket. FIU states that seniors can receive and below 70% of average earnings, but it will have to participate in the proposed program notes. Criterion just three: the employer pays premiums to the Pension Fund for its own employees, some corporate deductions are held in the same fund, and in addition, the very same worker has set aside funds to non-profit organizations or in bonds, for example, in the so-called structural bonds to finance construction and repair of roads.

Translating all this into everyday language, we can say follow: that the pensioner lived freely after sending a well-deserved rest, he should send this to all of their income to deduct the FIU. Only here and not the fact that everything will be fine. After the RPF — the organization of an impressive and respectable organization in our country are often subjected to reform, while optimizing the deposits, investments and contributions.

In general, the new offers from FIU, certainly impressive. It is difficult to say what the advertising campaign of the Pension Fund of Russia is different from the marketing of Sergei Mavrodi. Just change the slogan to "For an old lady's boots," and the rest — two drops of water …

Grandma's tears

In the week rebelled most democratic country pensioner Lyudmila Alexeeva — the infamous head of the Metropolitan Helsinki Group (MHG), which is part-earned additionally also in the Human Rights Council under the President of Council (HRC). Maybe another reform of the Pension Fund was influenced, perhaps, a full moon, but Lyudmila considered discriminatory decision of the Kremlin that the HRC will be formed not by the same members of the Council, as is the case at the moment, but on the basis of broad public debate maybe even through online sites. Oppositionist with Stakhanovite indicators of opposition activity, which itself seems to consider himself the country's most ardent social activist, worried that the society, the rights of which she despises, and will decide who will sit in a very specific organ. Having taken offense citizen of 2 countries decided to throw a downright statement on the table, showing all its own opposition anger over the fact that the issues of saturation staff of the Council will take on some kind of "greasy" and "lapotnaya" the public instead of her own. After all solutions to all of the presidential administration was as neatly: for themselves voted to elect themselves, with mustaches, and now the public can not issue a late middle-aged lady of the trust to protect their own interests.

Results of the week.  You want to live - not so raskoryachishsya

Arguing that the Council should be elected by "knowledgeable" people, Ms. Alexeyev said that even if you select the General Staff of the Russian Federation asked about the worldview of the fighter or the other candidates, so that the generals were workable. Who personally asked the soldier's world view and outlook of what exactly an ordinary she meant, Ludmila was not able to clarify, but only once the opposition pushed his eyebrows at an angle of opposition.

But the prospect of being left or to the opposition pensions alone with the sharks housing diminished fervor Alexeeva citizen, or member of the crust do not want to put on the shelf, but after a short-lived time Lyudmila still decided not spalivat bridges at all, and declare that the same under certain criteria (criteria for her, of course), it can remain on the Board. Terms of the following: no public institutions to prevent the formation of the HRC, and leave everything as it was before, when "with mustaches."

In general, there is an obvious zeal Lyudmila Mikhailovna to, to keep going by leaps and bounds in the democratic bright future of, as to elect and be elected are only available to a limited number of people with the active position a certain direction, but the rest — sorry — not admitted. Mrs. Alexeeva revealing words about her misunderstanding of the situation in which the HRC will probably "the same young man with Uralvagonzavod." After all, she — Lyudmila Mikhailovna — its plainclothes position there, but "the guy" it can not be and therefore declare the rights he has no right.

So noble opposition leader until she could venture that she did all the same close: the protection of human rights in the broadest sense of the word or the protection of human rights specific — I mean, my friends, with all the ensuing consequences.

Part II. Save yourselves, Michel Platini!

Between the bullpen and the nuthouse

June 21 indictment asked The Tribunal finds Anders Breivik insane and forcibly treat him in a psychiatric clinic. Though whatever the prosecutor Svein Holden in place doubted that Breivik — the man, not the patient. Of course, Comrade Holden does not have to be expressed in such a deliberately rough shape as the other scribblers (more precisely, klavishedaviteli), and so he said, much softer: that the acts and statements of the defendant's evidence of his apparent psychological illness. In general, their myagenkie speech he made tough enough warning: if Breivik still recognize usual, the prosecution wil
l be very likely to insist on the term for it — 20 one year jail.

Results of the week.  You want to live - not so raskoryachishsya

The question here is not whether it is long — 21. After all, everything is known in the comparison.

If a terrorist cater to a mental hospital, where his healing will be delayed. Most likely, it will cure for life. The fact is that if a conventional and relatively ordinary people (in other words, including those who sits on the bullpen for the cause), and the rights and freedoms of all is in order, on the rights of the insane it is difficult to maintain. Psychiatrists may be 50 or 60 years to decide a patient is healthy or has not yet recovered. Psychiatry, you know, science is narrow. You can boldly and say: no, it really is not science.

For example, the same Breivik studied two groups of Norwegian forensic psychiatrists, one after the other. So what? These groups have come to exactly the opposite conclusion: the first group decided that he mad, and the second — it sane.

Obviously, after these "expert" at least some conclusions, even the raznevmenyaemy for a moment would come in myself and realized that uh, it's better I'm in the camera at 21 years than in the clutches of this perpetual spice. Having caught me in the room, doctors will begin to write their doctoral thesis by asking me a variety of silly and funny questions and showing strange patterns. And it is good that one or two doctors, as well as to imagine that this dissertation horror mixed with fertilizing antidepressants, insulin injections, electroconvulsive therapy, vagus nerve stimulation, and to contrast with the ice-cold water dousing in Norwegian cold and starvation in the long healing strait shirt stretched for two or three generations of doctors …

So do not be surprised that Breivik is constantly saying, I wish to jail, I wish for 21 years at the camera, I do not want in a psychiatric hospital, I'm sane, sane, sane. And the same is repeated by his lawyer Geir Lippestad: Say, Breivik — a "political activist" who was responsible for his actions and has led a "normal" life in the middle of friends and colleagues.

The Norwegian government has promised the end of May to pick up mass murderer inmates — not those that are found on the bullpen in general, and specific, easy life which about Breivik will be paid from the Norwegian budget. Commonplace as inmates do not work: you never know, the terrorist will take them hostage and break free. In "alone" is to keep the killer Norwegian authorities can not: long weary of the offender in solitary confinement laws forbid this democratic country. That is why the management bullpen Ila was decision hire people who will be once a day to play a game of chess with Breivik, floorball and talk. If desired, and some training in rhetoric Breivik even be able to send their terrorist inmates in faith.

That's how care will be surrounded by Anders Breivik in Norway humane penal institution. The company also loonies with split personalities schizophrenia, broad-nurses with syringes and handfuls of pills, and, in the end, the doctors-dissertants prohibiting not only play floorball, but even in the «World of Warcraft», — would like think out Norwegian shooter , not too far away so enjoyable.

In general, the court and the government there is another way out. His proposed 22 June Breivik himself, speaking in the courtroom with the "last word". He expressed his own protest at the fact that non-ethnic Norwegians may represent Norway at the "Eurovision", noted that the Hollywood series "Sex and the City bolshennom" corrupting viewers finally said, looking at a piece of paper, that it was he, Anders Breivik, Norway was rescued from a multicultural hell. "History shows that you need to make a small barbarism, barbarism to warn of huge proportions. The attack on July 22 was pre-emptive strike to protect the indigenous people of Norway — said Breivik arbitrators. — I demand to justify. "

So Makar, here it is, the third output: Breivik released into the wild. Let preemptively shoot or blow up more people or two hundred eighty. For the sake of the indigenous population of Norway.

No, listen to Breivik judge and prosecutor will not. Democracy in Norway has not yet grown to such a degree of freedom.

The killer, a month or got stuck between the bullpen and a psychiatric hospital, or have to spend behind bars in '21, playing chess and chatting with pay fellow inmates about the dominance of multiculturalism, or watching to see how the next half a century science develops psychiatry.

"Significant Event"

Colonel Hassan Hamad on Thursday had deserted from the Syrian Air Force — and not just wandered off somewhere in the Turkish aside and flew to Jordan for the MiG-21. The Syrian command named this man "deserter who did sin, and will be punished for their actions on the laws of war", and in Jordan last colonel found political asylum.

Results of the week.  You want to live - not so raskoryachishsya

In the South American State Department hop Syrian defector happy. Victoria Nuland said"This is indeed a very important event, as the pilot on the plane at the cost of 25 million dollars fly away to another country."

28 years ago came back one similar "significant event", although not as spectacular: a military pilot David Hemler, who served in the U.S. Air Force squadron in Germany, in 1984, deserted, hitchhiking to get from Germany to Sweden, which pretended there bloodless parents and offspring soon became a citizen of the country. "Swede" has successfully married, fathered three children. Mr. pilot did not like Reagan's foreign policy — and this was the only prerequisite for escape. Not so long ago, the last pilot admitted in his desertion.

But the Department of Special Investigations of the U.S. Air Force did not appreciate his act. Not a lot of this department now expects to attract detect the ex-pilot to justice.

Perhaps, in order to act Mr. Hemler was recognized as "significant", he should steal a fighter. Only fly, most likely, would not the pilot in Sweden, and Russia. Would have married a Muscovite, and instead of «ABBA» listening to "Earthlings" …

In all povinet Platini

Pan Pan Cuba Voevudsky and Michal Figursky leading Polish radio station «Eska Rock» June 12, entertaining listeners live applets «Wojewodzki Figurski Poranny WF», decided to talk to the international theme. Provoked the "international" dialogue might just then ended the match Euro football championship, which Ukraine defeated Sweden.

Perhaps Voevudsky and Figursky rooting for Sweden. Because bad radiodialog they intended to Ukraine. Without saying anything about the Ukrainians-men, they immediately ran over to the female subject.

"You know what I did yesterday after the match with Ukraine?" — started Voevudsky conversation. — "What?" — Asked Figursky.

And she went to talk to the stressed state flavor. Voevudsky said: "I acted like a real Pole …" — Figursky in response: "Did you kill the dog?" — "No, I drove a Ukrainian woman." — "And it will cancel the idea. I have not yet occurred. You know what? I'm with anger now she will not pay. " — "You know what, but I'll take her back, taking her money and'll drive again." — "I will say to you that if mine was at least a little nicer, I would have raped her." — "Nah … I do not know how my looks, because it all the time on my knees."

Unknown properties of the humor was not understood in the Polish-Ukrainian Foundation PAUCI, also in the Association of Ukrainians in Poland. These organizations are not putting off the case in a long box, sent the materials to the prosecutor. Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Poland weird jokes 2-radiopanov also not liked. A spokesman for the Polish Ministry of Foreign Affairs Marcin Bosatsky said"The statements of these guys are not only pointless, but scandalous and boorish." The Foreign Ministry of Ukraine also condemned, highlighting, that this kind of statement, "lead to the incitement of national enmity between Poles and Ukrainians, also destroy the friendship and good atmosphere of Ukrainian-Polish strategic partnership."

Managing a Polish radio station «Eska Rock» spoke a back that Voevudskogo and Figurskogo properly realized. Board chairman Bohuslav Potonts radio station said that leading like and were not of themselves, and are embodied in the images of their own characters: "The authors are often embodied in a variety of roles to show up and make fun of the pettiness of some Poles and harmful schemes that guide».

Well, in that case the two leading had to apologize on air for those characters whose roles they played. June 22 Michal Figursky the air «Eska Rock» on behalf of both the guilty, and along with the radio excused Polish, British, Russian and French — the sound of the national anthem of Ukraine. That does not seem like a lot, one of the guests of the morning programs from here read the text of the apology in Danish.

But the Poles have not forgiven. PAUCI insists on investigating prosecutor (the result of which may be the conclusion of Voevudskogo and Figurskogo for up to three years). Maybe because, apologizing in 5 languages, leading forgotten about the most important language — Ukrainian — and perhaps because in Poland humiliation Ukrainian ladies is the most real bad tradition.

In January Bartek Venglyarchik — rating a leading television channel TVN, — driving with Jolanta Penkovskoy morning show, said of Ukrainko as "domestic robots." When talking about the order in the house, and Penkovskaya wished she had not yet invented bots for domestic work, Venglyarchik said"There are boats! These bots — Ukrainian women! "

Pan is popular Venglyarchiku even ask for forgiveness was not necessary: for it is made deputy director of TVN. A month after the transfer.

But here Figurskomu scandal which came against the background of the match very much boomy, had to pay a price for his behavior on air career. Pre-match ceremony semifinal match of the European Football Championship, which will take place in Warsaw on June 28, that person will not conduct: he suspended UEFA.

By the way, lords and Figursky Voevudsky — before offend Ukrainian civilization — humiliated Hindus in the air, and at one point managed to offend the Ku Klux Klan. For the Hindus and the KKK had to shell out for leading 50,000 zloty fine.

"Banter" Figurskogo, Voevudskogo and Venglyarchika — not all the sorrows of the media that got a heavy share of Ukrainians. The fact is that we strengthen the friendship of peoples took not so long ago and the Germans.

According to the "Ukrinform", June 16 the German newspaper "Bild" Ukraine Named "the country of prostitutes." The correspondent of the newspaper, according to the chairman of the Central Union of Ukrainians in Germany Ludmila Mlosh came to his conclusions "after communicating with only one Ukrainian prostitute."

It was about the article entitled "Things are bad prostitutes today: Ukrainian confused complain konkurentnst in the fan zones", in which is stated that 100 thousand Ukrainian women selling their bodies for money.

Journalist Matthias Marburg, creator of the article already excused"If someone took it as an insult to the whole Ukraine, I apologize. It was not my intention. "

At the moment the website in the "Sport" you can find an article of Marburg, dated 18.06.2012, and is called "She plans to encroach on Platini". Perhaps this is an edited version.

Results of the week.  You want to live - not so raskoryachishsya

In rather short article refers to the Ukrainian movement «Femen», which is representative of the words — Inna Shevchenko — and leads Matias Marburg. The purpose of this movement, which is involved in 40 of the Kiev activists, said the creator notes, — the fight against prostitution. As opponents, which is opposed to the motion, namely: a) the government, and b) UEFA c) Michel Platini. European Championship, according to activists, transformed Ukraine into one big brothel. Representatives of the movement meant tearing each game, protesting in the nude. Disrupt any match they failed, but they do not lose heart — and are going to do personally Michel Platini. At UEFA president will be arranged Sex-Angriff — sex appeal attack. Details were not disclosed.

So cute Ukrainian ladies are surrounded by enemies on all sides: from their own government to foreign radio, television and the press. The situation intolerable, agree. But not to be envied, and Monsieur Platini. It seems to UEFA President will soon be translated into the image of a scapegoat.

* In the title — a phrase from the movie "Features of state hunting."

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