There are many ways a positive impact on the child, which is achieved by means of different educational objectives. Adults often use them, are not always aware of what the results give one or another way. Proper encouraging children can do wonders — to motivate them for the necessary steps to strengthen the positive qualities, improve self-confidence, helping to absorb the rules of behavior in society. At the same time, if you select a wrong way to encourage a situation or use continuously only one of them, we can get a result opposite to that expected.
Perhaps the most effective method of moral encouragement — a compliment.
Compliment— The ability to see, observe and name shown in action quality or character traits. The advantages are that compliment it, to put it correctly, helps to strengthen, to turn out the positive qualities of the child, as a compliment is always directed at a person. In communication, we use different kinds of compliments, but usually three.
Gift, directed to the person directly — by displaying traits, qualities, skills, abilities.
— Sasha, you have such an independent — he washed the dishes. You know how to take responsibility and be active.
— Igor, yesterday you took care of her sister, walked with her in the street. You're very kind and responsible.
— Look, Nick, you're 40 minutes learned all the lessons. You know how to deal started to finish. You're such a purposeful, solid.
— Knapweed, you're very smart, clever guy. You decided a very difficult task.
— Oh, Irina, as you beautifully and expressively recited poems. You're so creative spirited personality.
Compliments always take this kind of pronunciation of actions and behavior of the child, based on which an adult can infer the presence of a particular quality. We compliment and explain on what basis we are encouraging them to children. Without this Gift becomes "unfilled", he focuses on a specific quality, not strengthen it, and turns in the best case, just praise, and at worst — in flattery. Compliment aimed at personality through appearance or belonging child objects.
— Oh, Mishan, what is your big car. This machine can handle only a strong and confident boy.
— Larisochka how well you picked up the tights and shoes her doll. All the color platishka and eyes suited her. You know how to be attentive to yourself and others.
— Vova, what is your beautiful book. Brand new, neat. So you neat and thrifty boy.
— Wow, sing what your calculator. Buttons, how many different ones. Apparently, you're smart and work well head, once you have such a multi-function device.
We often notice new and beautiful things, used by children and tell them about it, with an emphasis on the child, on his qualities. "Natasha, what a beautiful dress you" — and then what? Dress noticed and Natasha with? Hair, clean hands, the ability to pick up clothes from her wardrobe, groomed dolls, working machines, net books, beautiful stones — it's all possible to discern the identity of the child. Even if there is somewhere and participation of adults, a compliment to say all the same child.
— What a beautiful tee shirt grandma bought you. Seen much love you, yes, Anton?
— Anton, you're probably very much like your grandmother, if she bought you a nice shirt.
Gift, directed to the person through the feelings and sensations that I experience when dealing with you.
— Katya, I am so with you calmly and well, you're always ready to come to my aid.
— Serezhechka, next to you, I get so much energy. I think, with you I can move mountains.
— Lizonka when you're around, I feel like I'm all the difficulties and problems in the shoulder.
Talking about your feelings, we indirectly talking about as a child. And it gives him confidence and enhances even the slightest manifestation of the qualities that we are not calling, just mean.
Compliments we call positive qualities, skills and abilities of the child. They, in turn, can occur only as a result of certain actions and deeds. In line with this, there are four stages of compliments:
— Stephen, do you want to join the basketball section? So, you love yourself — take care of their shape and their health. Your choice suggests that you are able to make decisions and take responsibility for themselves.
— Cyril, you have a desire to go to Grandma's tomorrow? This suggests that you are caring and attentive to others.
Compliment a desire to act in a child increases the energy of that desire, increases self-confidence, helping to reinforce the correctness of the chosen solution. We teach a child to want and desire, and most achieve their own desires without fear that any desire to be out of reach. Now it will be much easier to make the first move and act.
How, Step, basketball? I went today to the first practice? You know how to achieve the desired. You're strong, not to give up their words. There was a desire, want — made the first move.
— Where are you going, Cyril? Grandmother went to? You're efficient and decisive. Your words with deeds, you know how to take responsibility for themselves.
Gift for the onset of action enhances the efficiency and determination the children, their creativity, teaches to the ability to take responsibility for themselves. Encouraging compliment his positive initiatives, we are helping the child to continue to operate without a doubt, increase the child's confidence, configure it for the duration of action.
— Stepushka you the third month you go to the section of basketball, not missing a single session. You're efficient, persistent. You're purposeful.
— Kirill, are you for the fifth time this month, going to her grandmother. You're a constant, caring. You have a very active, all in time.
Washing dishes, cleaning the apartment, picking up toys, in school, music lessons — not always and not all children produce happy emotions. When we do not focus on the result, but on the action itself and the quality of that child accumulating as a result of these actions, we fill it with energy desire to continue to operate, and thus continue to evolve. Understanding that is important for us is not so much the result, but the action itself, the child ceases to worry and worry about the result, it starts to get fun in the process and thus effortlessly achieves a positive result.
— Stephen, what you have purposeful, what a solid kid. Year was in a section, you sometimes did not, but you kept going. And you were invited to the first team. You just reach what you want in life, when all will be as it is now, to bring to fruition.
— Cyril, what you solid, you know how to keep his word. Said you twice a week to go before the summer holidays to his grandmother, and never let us down. Grandmother so touched your attention and care, that she decided to give you in return, and in honor of the school year bike. Can you bring the begun business to the end, you're a very solid kid.
At this stage, the result of a compliment — not the point. The main thing for a child — to be able to bring the matter started to its logical conclusion. But the decision to accept the child, not the parents. Challenge adults to help the child through a compliment to its promise to complete the deal, and if they get a result, it is not necessarily the one that was planned. "Mom, the teacher asked us to write today a line of rods.
They have some curves obtained. Give me a piece of paper, I first five lines to write a rough draft, and then in a notebook. " Even if after five lines written when the hand in a child gets tired, and sticks are crooked than before — is his work and diligence deserve a compliment?
Compliment — pretty simple and very effective way of moral encouragement. Still, its main value lies in the fact that it can be used to strengthen and gain the child's quality, which will make it more holistic harmonious personality. Compliments lies huge benefit for adults. We can see in man only those qualities that are present in us. Remember, children have a saying: "Who is like call names, that's called?" Therefore, each compliment — is, above all, work on yourself. Noting the positive qualities and the changes in the other person, we ourselves are changing for the better.
Compliment — it is the first step for producing such quality as self-love, to develop positive thinking. It helps to be more attentive to other people and, above all, to your friends and loved ones. With the compliment qualitatively improve the relationship with the child, growing mutual love and understanding.
When we say compliments, it is important that they were sent to different qualities of the child, helped him to become a holistic harmonious personality. If all the time to focus on one and the same quality, you can turn it into a weakness. Indeed, the lack of — is any quality, as shown by. It should always begin to tell the child about what he is thrifty, he is able to save up the money, he does not give his toys as he eats himself — get greedy. If all the time to admire how the child comes up with different cool funny stories, how interesting he fantasizes as he can tell stories, the child will be lied to and eggs.
Compliment, as opposed to the approval and praise, is needed and important, not only when we like the child's actions, but more often when we are interested in the formation and development of its qualities, skills, and abilities. Therefore compliment helps to become more attentive to the other person, makes you wonder about the motivation of an act of man.