We dealt with a psychologist, who and why buys and sells innocence.
The idea to sell virginity online came from Americans of Massachusetts, who five years ago made a auction. The news spread quickly, and willing to pay for the "innocent goods" was rife. For example, a 22-year old American Natalie Dylan auctioned her virginity, the price for which the first four months rose to 3.7 million dollars! The girl asked more than 10 thousand applicants. Who would have thought that now decided to sell innocence and Ukrainian women! Should write in the search engines' selling virginity, "as the ubiquitous network will give dozens of websites that specialize in this" industry ", will offer you to sign up, and absolutely free, put in your details and open a" bargain. "
Together with the Kiev counselor Psychological Association Ukrainian Olga Stashuk we decided to find out what is the essence of this phenomenon, and what psychological background.
What is the demand on the innocent
First, we put "their job" on the first page. At first, our Miss Alenka — beautiful brunette 18 years weighing 52 kg, had no special demand. When we add to it another 6 pounds — our "fake" elektronku just filled letters from want "to get to know." Someone gave thanks for the absence of errors in the "summary" and invited to dinner by candlelight, and one is limited to one sentence: "How much and where the photo?" To answer this question, I had become acquainted not only with customers, but also with the clerk. As it turned out, most often traded innocence girls …. from Kiev. "Deflower a classmate after the disco or pimply neighbor's party is stupid! — Explained to us in correspondence from Kiev Katya. — It is better to deal with an experienced, wealthy man, and even at this and earn extra money. Wants to go to university, to dress, to go on holiday! "
According to the psychologist. "The bigger the metropolis, the more blurred it moral values. In villages all know each other and know everything, but in the big city is easier to get lost. In the bustle of the city people do not have time to reflect on the big questions. It is likely an effect of "herd", "collective": if many do, why can not I? In metropolitan areas are a priority is market forces. It is these priorities, opportunities and girls illusion that innocence is also for sale. "
Who becomes the SELLER
Some girls sell virginity for a reason, and with a view to make a "buyer" of constant and reliable sponsor. And innocence — that is to say, the first contribution to the "bright future" kept woman. In response, she promises tenderness, care, affection and even loyalty! There are also girls who really could not find any other way out but to pay for their education or illness of a loved person. Prices start from 3000 USD. By the way, in Europe, it is fashionable to arrange auctions or online auction "innocence." So girls fill their own worth. Our long as before, thank God, not sunk. Everything is resolved "by agreement of the parties." There are websites and other "uniques" — 16-year-old boys, who themselves offer money to be deprived of virginity. "I have all the classmates were men, do not want to stand out from the crowd — says unknown user. — If you really like a girl, will pay 600 hryvnia! "
According to the psychologist. "Agree, there are many options to get the money, and for this it is not necessary to sell your body. A sale itself suggests a veiled attempt to get a "surrogate love," the frustration and lack of faith in the real relationships between men and women, which is love, intimacy and understanding. After all, love can not be earned, can not be bought — it can only give. At first, it's even kind of bravado, "Well, friend — a pimply free, as I experienced — and for the money!" Put an ad — and just as you want! Increased self-worth, because it appears demand, which probably did not exist before. There is a sense of "I'm better than others." The price paid for it — the chance of recurrence of commodity-money relations with men, where a lot of manipulation and few real feelings. "
WHO BECOMES A BUYER
Most often they are men over 40, married, who already have a sexual experience. "I'm 42, I'm not happily married — says user Alex. — Therefore, seeking a mistress, with whom I have had a long relationship. It is because I want to, I was her first. Exorbitant sums to offer will not, do not consider it a great advantage and dignity, but further payment guarantee. Just send me your photo. "
Some girls are looking for new experiences. "I would love to meet the" real "girl, because, having lived to such a ripe old age, experience, the first man of the girl I was not," — says the 46-year-old member of Cyril.
Among those who responded to our ad, there were those who called for guarantees that the girl is really a virgin, and some are just asking price, and if it seemed to them too high — frankly foul. "Some I talked to on the phone. I will say this, many very nasty — complained to us, "saleswoman" Karina. — One man gave such obscenities that scary to hear what he says. With one, I agreed to a meeting. Imagine my surprise. when from the "Maserati" came groomed grandfather, invited me to a restaurant and offered $ 2,500 per night! Fortunately, I have time to change their mind and did not agree to sell virginity. But my friend bargain for $ 3000. She got a decent man. However, she then still complained that the money did not bring her joy. Like, felt a thing … "
According to the psychologist. "In my opinion, men pushing for a" buy "the fear and self-doubt. After 30-40 years, the majority of people going through a mid-life crisis, when we sum up the first time consciously think about retirement. Often, dissatisfaction with family life results in an attempt to start over with a young and inexperienced girl. Men began torturing fear of weakness, worthlessness, helplessness and sexual failure. And, probably, "the purchase of virginity 'somewhat compensates for this fear. Men experience new emotions and rejuvenated. Not only that, the feeling of force, 'cool.' He's a mature man, can provide your passion with money, in contrast to their 20-year "competition." Again we go out on the commodity-money relations, which are priorities in today's society. "I can not buy love. I am strong and tough! "This way — easier, especially since it does not break up the family, but it has created an outlet. As can also be seen buying virginity search of its own uniqueness. Every man wants to be for someone to "first", "unique", "those whom she will never forget." And the fact that he is willing to pay money for it, speaks of infringement in this area, and lack of identity. "
Enterprising OR DEFICIT OF LOVE
The more I talked with representatives of similar trades, the more the feeling that this is a normal auction, which sold up some coat, not women's honor and dignity. Therefore, removing their "summary" and mail, I was relieved. There was a feeling that came out of the mud, and his head spun eternal phrase "About time! O mores! "Yes, and the Ministry of Interior of Ukraine, we were informed that the girls selling their virginity, no criminal not liable. All on his conscience. And, for example, in Germany, where the student has sold her virginity to a 10 thousand Euro, had to give half of the proceeds of the tax office, because they have prostitution taxed 50% m tax. By the way, enterprising Ukrainians I asked whether they believe in love. Do you know the answer? Yes, believe it! That's just met her — I doubt.
According to the psychologist. I think this whole phenomenon appeared in the result of the fact that our society has ceased to control and set the scope of what is permitted. After the sale of sexual services for money — it's prostitution. But the "guards" and the surroundings look the other way. And why not? Because society loses constraints, without which it can not survive. Previously, she knew that if she would lose innocence — it will lose value. When the ethical value of lost innocence — so it can be sold for good money. The fact that the girls are ready to sell themselves for money, talks about their inner confidence that no money no love. Respect and affection can only be earned. Or buy. The roots of this — in the degradation of the family. Looking for parents, these girls probably have concluded: the love and tenderness of reach, and thus will not be too happy, so I can at least something from this "fuck." And this is — a manifestation of unbelief and despair. I see this lack of love — the highest value that can not be bought at any price.