This is one of the chapters of my forthcoming book, which is now being prepared for publication. Is added and is editing, proofreading, layout.
Too many people think (and often, oddly enough, so think it is women) that a housewife does not do anything, it drone, completely dependent creature and needs to stoop to get money and stuff.
I had also been assured that housewives are boring and limited. I do not know why we have such a belief. TV, movies, newspapers, and books. Dasha Bukina — a vivid example of shape in my mind the image of a housewife.
Limited communication, narrow interests, no expression. Therefore, I firmly believed that I did for that and will never housewife. What I face the child and immediately go out to work. What am I going to do business, to build a career. Anything — just not domohozyayskie weekdays.
And, ironically, for almost 7 years, I housewife. With a slight break in three months when I went to work (it was more than four years ago.) It turned out that all is not so simple. And I do not want to have long work outside the home.
What are the advantages in this situation? Let me tell you about your:
Most importantly, I have the power to her husband and children. I do not come in the evening is depressed. I am full of energy and love. Always ready to talk and play, and just be with them.
I know what happens in the lives of my children, because I — always there. I remember their first steps, first words, first success, the first failure. All that I shared with them. And it is — a precious treasure for me.
I have a lot of time for self-development and personal growth. My husband, for example, need to specifically allocate time for this. And I have — the whole day available. I clean a lecture Dr. Torsunov, preparing for lectures Ruslan Narushevich, I read many books and articles, when the children are asleep.
I also have a lot of time for needlework. I do not imagine, when working at full mandala women weave, sew or knit. I can at any time to sit down with the children and get their balls. Children playing around, I communicate with them — and the arms deal creation.
I have more energy for home and life. Of course, I'm not all have time. And get out of the house with two small children — is like clearing the snow from the road during a snowfall. But I have time to two to three times a day to cook all the food home to feed, wash and sometimes iron, get out.
I still have time for yourself. This is the most valuable. The time when I can lie down in the tub. Or sit quietly with your computer. Or go to a favorite store. Beloved husband gladly gives me such opportunities. He knows the magical effect of such an act.
Home care — a piece of creative. It is necessary to think, invent, invent. What would it make? What would have to remove the toys? How to teach a little writing on the pot? How to teach the senior not to cry when the baby sleeps? Every day, you need to solve many problems — and one another more interesting.
Now I am happy to receive guests. Because I have the time, energy and desire to communicate. After the eight-hour day just wanted to sleep. And more.
I made a lot of time and energy to women's gatherings. Hen parties, tea parties, saunas, handmade evening. It means so much to me!
I spend a lot of time to communicate with her husband. Together we draw plans for the boards come up with strategies. I first heard of his ideas and support them. I help him in business. And he appreciates. Even sometimes said — what a blessing that you do not go to work!
My husband began to work more and earn more. When he realizes that the mammoths wearing no one but him, motivation is stronger. And when, after the "hunt" he returns to the safe harbor — he has an understanding of why and why it is correct. He had long been driving me to work. While it and happened four years ago.
Our children do not go to kindergarten. It is especially important to me — because we have had the experience of giving the eldest son in the garden. And I myself have never liked these day care centers. In Sri Lanka, for example, a garden — every day from 8 am to 11 am. Strictly. Just play, draw and learn. Children do not eat, do not sleep. And my mother — do not work. Most of my mother in those three hours just have to rest and take care of ourselves. It is for these gardens, I would be in favor.
I enjoy knowing that the result depends on me. At any job depends on me only a certain percentage of the overall result. Let's say I work at a trading company personnel manager. I need to do to find the right people and motivate them. But the overall outcome — my influence — 15 percent maximum. It also depends on me 90%. Imagine — the lion's share! Yes, it is the primary responsibility of women. From how I behave and how I feel, happiness depends on my family. By 90%. And here there is such a thrill, because you know what time it is up to you in many ways, it is something you can change. You can try to test and apply new knowledge and see how it affects. You are already in control of the situation in some way, you control this situation and it is interesting.
And yet — when I wrote books and articles, if they worked from morning to night?
Home improvement — not to work?
Do not go to work and do not work — a huge difference. Housewife — this is also a job. But it is very feminine and very resource. If you try, you will feel the difference.
Of course, if you take it as a bondage and forced measure — a household be hell. Routine, Groundhog Day — it is also a part of my everyday life. There are actions that I do every day, they are mechanical and monotonous. Change diapers, clear the table, collect dirty laundry, expanded clean.
But in any job is routine. As secretary, for example — red tape (which I hate). In promotion — daily monitoring of the site positions. In writing — the need to moderate comments on the site, edit text and append unfinished article.
Many say that it is not state-funded work. But I would have looked at this question differently. And then the state and its benefits? Our main state — is a family. And his chief financial minister — a husband. That man is able to give you all that you want. You need only ask.
Woman all in this life can get a husband. If he will serve unselfishly and it will inspire feats. It is simpler and easier than maintain their independence, "just in case". And as for the relationship is much more useful.
How can I make a joyful household:
Spend less time at the computer — if it is not associated with your hobby (blog, photos, and so on). And that in fact many have heard an anecdote: "Daddy, who is that scary, hairy, with red eyes in the corner? '" Children, this is your mother stayed up all night VKontakte "
Make your training routine — listen to lectures, read books. On another topic, which is interesting for you. So you do not allow yourself to become blunt and become uninteresting.
To do what matters — needlework, creativity. Gaining feminine energy. Energy is never too much!
Spend more time and attention to her husband — and it paid off handsomely. He will not drive the work, and to help start, and love in the relationship becomes more
Approach to the problem creatively. You can cook every day the same, and you can decorate the dishes, look for new recipes. You can wash the floor every day, and you can make beautiful rugs and vacuuming them with their children. Window of opportunity is huge.
Do not try to do everything perfectly. Especially cleaning. Especially if you have kids. There is a joke that the three points: mental health, order, and children — you can only choose two. Give yourself your sanity. Let the house will be clean, but not perfectly clean. This is a huge difference in wasted power.
Dress nicely at home. For myself, for my husband, for children. Style your hair, take care of your skin. If you sit at home, it does not mean that we can and should spit on myself. Discard bathrobes, hair curlers, baggy nightgowns. This will give you more energy as the first. Not to mention a husband who happily see a beautiful wife, and not creased fury.
Every day, take time to herself — at least half an hour. This is your prevention of burnout syndrome.
Well, wanted to say about who is contraindicated household:
If you have no children or they are adults — you can be very boring, and you will not find much to do with himself. This is not a reason to work a full day, but a four-time would probably make you happier and implemented.
If you have too much energy and your home may have some time to be without you — send your energy into society. Otherwise torment children and husband.
If you do not want to work, and you think that this way of life will save you the trouble.
This way I was, and so changed my understanding. This is my conscious choice. This is very strange — because I once worked three jobs plus college. I was always very self-reliant. Never took the money and did not ask for men. I wanted to go to work right after giving birth. Careers, business, be independent.
And here I sit at home. Wash, cook, raise children, inspiring husband rukodelnichayu. Can you call me a drone? I doubt it. I am working around the clock — mom and wife.
And for me it is the most expensive work in the world. I would not trade it for anything else.
The path to this realization for me was not easy and it was not so easy. But only now, when I am a housewife who does what he likes, which sits on the neck and is an appendage of her husband, I am very happy.
Was not this happy when I worked at three jobs, itself provides. Was not his, and when my son was eighteen months with a nanny, and I worked from morning until evening. Did not have it and when my wages were a lion's share of our budget. Neither one of those moments I felt happy and sold.
Only now has the status of the hen house, and I was really happy. And what you want — with all my heart!