Mikhail Zadornov: Poslevybory

The most popular dialogue in the west after the elections in Russia:
— Hear that? Yesterday in Russia were the presidential elections.
— Yes? So, who came in second?

ELECTION

Yes, unfortunately, they came over and the usual gray Putney.

MEDVEDEV

So it is time to part with the former president. There is evidence that it has disappeared from all but a very frustrated. The fact is that with the attack on Vladimir Putin's attack was organized and Dmitry Medvedev. Attackers have thrown him a worm farm in "mates"!

Churov

Since the work of election commissions headed Churov, Russia in the near future should be new terminology: see the results of the election — "kick in", assistant head of the electoral commission — "lumps". And "Keep off you!" — Expletive Putin towards opponents.

One person from birth given talent to be an artist, the other — a writer and so on … Churovu from birth given talent to be head of the Election Commission! Come up with transparent ballot boxes could only truly talented man! Moreover, in order to prove that Russia can be transparent elections. So it was fun to watch: transparent boxes next to each observer and was closely watched and how it is filled. If this process depends on the electoral fraud.

Russian slogan "For Fair Elections" — the same thing that the call in Spain "For Fair bullfight!"

I understand that the Russian humanity long remember Churov, but it will be even longer to remember one of the best Polish composers — Penderecki. As if nothing had happened, with Maya Plisetskaya and Rodion Shchedrin he arrived for the premiere of the opera "Dead Souls" to the Bolshoi Theater, and sat in the box. The audience in the theater is always a special interest — see who is out there today in the box?

Penderecki poor! He did not know what he looks like … Churov! He does not know who Churov. Therefore, it was incredibly surprised when the audience up out of the ground floor and out of the amphitheater began shouting at him various insults.

Unfortunately, Penderecki in Russian understands. What for? What had he done to the Russian people? He's not a politician, Polish, and composer. Maya Plisetskaya, he quickly explained everything. By the end of the play was called guards to immediately deliver Penderecki in the car, so that an angry mob, it is not broke, taking the Churov. Penderecki was so impressed that he was afraid to stay in Russia and the next day flew to Poland.

Conclusion: those who in Russia is similar to Churov, advise urgently to shave their beards or walking with the guards, and it is better in the next six years, did not leave the house.
The newspapers wrote that Churov repeatedly prayed for the election results. See, it worked! Evening of March 4, when the results were known, and they reported to the Kremlin, Putin is so touched that he emerged … tear! Zamirotochil! Since Putin icons yet, zamirotochil myself!

Prokhorov

From reliable sources, it was reported that when Prokhorov learned about the results of the election, he said, "E-mine!"

Still, many who voted for Prokhorov pleased, "Look, we even Zhirinovsky ahead!"

In general, the elections, many voters are treated as interesting competition. Well, the gold medal — it is clear, as always, a silver Zyuganov and bronze Prokhorov! Hooray! The three entered!

Election to be the next time even more interesting, it is necessary to award different category candidates. For example, "Best Debut", of course, Prokhorov. "Best Actor" — Zhirinovsky, he also "Audience Award". Mironov — "for best supporting actress."

Still possible to establish such a nomination, "Who more times lost the election to Putin." For this nomination, we continue to fight hard Zhirinovsky and Zyuganov.

In short, Prokhorov done! Do not lose heart! Even promised to organize the party. "Just cause" does not work, now get "left work." For this first task — to enter the Duma! If Michael will be a deputy, I will write a story "Gulliver in the country of Deputies'!

In awarding the prize to Prokhorov, I would have said it best in the post-election statement of the night: "The elections were unfair, but legitimate." Here it is nashenskie, in Russian! Translation: "The laws, although not fair." That is what I always say, have a homeland, as is the state. State elections are considered, and the people there.

Well, that and continue to live. Who by law, who in all fairness, and who on the concepts. And no American "RC" so we are not afraid. Them, stupid, do not understand how we could be four years acting president, but not real.

I understand those who voted for Prokhorov. Finally, they said, appeared in Russian oligarch honest. He himself said that he had made a fair first million: Made in Moscow boiled American jeans and sold them tax-free. This, of course, compared to today, honest business.

By the way, in addition to organizing the party, he decided to expand the business and to issue registered sweets "Bear on e-mobile." However, in response, Putin has promised to release a candy "Bear in the north."

Marsh area

It's over there "orange" revolution, "banana", "blue", "velvet" … And we have, if the revolution will happen, it will be called "swamp."
Finally, there was renewed old Russian fun "wall to wall" in the nationwide scale. Now this game is to get a new name — "rally to rally."

New popular expression: "Glamurnizatsiya rallies!"

Zhirinovsky

Zhirinovsky also good! Nobody gave us so much pleasure with their performances before the election, as he did. His PR was organized so bright, delicious, I think, at the time the party renamed "LDPiaR."

However, I would have advised him to go to now heavily guarded. Many saw the air he insulted during a debate Alla Pugacheva. This is a gift he will not pass! For Alla Borisovna (also learned from a very reliable source) entered Maxim Galkin (her husband). He telephoned and insulted Valuev … voice Zhirinovsky.

Zyuganov

When I wrote that the best program in the Communist Party and Zyuganov, I was wrong. Best program was for Vladimir Putin — a computer program counting.

PUTIN

I think, in addition to the correct program the counting of Vladimir Putin's campaign led by Govorukhin made a few very loyal moves. / General name "Govorukhin" — speaking surname. Small talker, yes Eve supper! /

First, for the entire period of the election campaign, Putin made no mention of the party "United Russia". He shied away from (not from the word "Churov") his connection with her, as if afraid of any recollection of it to get dirty. It's true! Ah, if he had stuck to the future!

Second right move, Putin openly declared on television that every polling station cameras will be installed. What kind of camera — did not elaborate. This has already led many to vote for him.

I have to Vladimir Vladimirovich one question: "All we had any success in the country based on pullbacks. After his people to choose which will roll back the people? "
Still very time Vladimir Vladimirovich said that necessarily impose a luxury tax. First responded to this Anna Semenovich. She immediately decided to reduce your bust.

They say also that the vote for Putin, many intelligent people, because in one of his articles, he promised that the program "The demolition of dilapidated housing," the first item will "Dom-2".

And the producers show "Battle of psychics," as it became known, has already fired the writer who invented the job to predict who will become president of Russia.
"UNITED RUSSIA"

It is very true that Putin's campaign avoided mention of "United Russia". The fact that he learned of the new violations during the fall elections. It turns out that the majority of votes "United Russia" took a crazy house, where in her favor was conducted the vote count, which are distributed in the minds of patients.

We also learned the reason why people are so passionately and with quivering delight the news of the resumption of the "MMM", "crooks swindlers, but any alternative to the" United Russia "is needed!"

Seemingly ernichayu kidding, but actually last night I was scared for the first time. I heard on Manezh Square Putin herded crowd shouted, "We won!" And the crowd echoed him: "We won! We won! ", Forgetting that it drove under the motto" We are for Putin! We stand for stability! We are for 500 rubles! "Something like I newsreel thirties and forties saw. Dangerous sign!

There is nothing more dangerous than a boiling political excitement! I understand that these are only the first orgasm, but you will want to have a second, third … Who would Putin advised not to get involved in the political temperature of the boiling point? No stream myrrh vain. He had a way of prudent policy. For the first time this changed. Oh, not for the good it all!

If he re-unite after the election with the "United Russia" was not fired their Druganov not dispel all this Kremlin-ministerial Tale: Golikova Nabiullina Skrynnikov, Mutko and Shmatko — Russia may enter the situation is even more severe than under Joseph Vissarionovich. Stalin even cared about education. On the Union of Writers, Composers' Union, the Union of Cinematographers. And today, it all falls apart, and specifically the same Kremlin lads.

Since Peter I was not such that the people were trying to turn into willing, according to most. Again, in the Soviet time pretending that these are. And in the kitchen getting all dissenters. Now and in the kitchen few dissent. That's why you need to deprive the youth education, so she did not even know that it is possible dissent.

PS How can you not remember the words of Nabokov: "Portraits of the President in the country to be a reasonable size of a postage stamp."

PPS Twenty years ago, my friends are my concert performed while written on the topic of the day songs. I recently went through the paper, found them and was horrified! Verses and then that sounded cocky. Twenty years have passed, and what do you think? They grow old? No! They are even worse!

***
Morning paints delicate flowers
The walls of the ancient Kremlin
Wakes up at dawn
The entire Kremlin brothers.
***
Vigorous, powerful,
Guys, I do not know steeper.
My lads Kremlin,
You are the most tenacious.
***
You have heard the singing of blackbirds?
No, not the thrushes, not the field,
And to whom the reins of government
We have given ourselves, like the blind.
Here they took their places,
Democrats learned the songs.
I will know them by their voices,
Former rulers of Russia.
***
Parting hour, and the pain of separation
Will take forever, and it was then,
Again shake hands —
We are in the Duma again for many years!
***
We all follow the miracles
But there is no more wonderful nothing
Than to see chudit Parliament
And the roof was going to him.
And if the Duma will meet,
Then the roof goes with her,
And our people are given diva,
Under the roof there is nothing.
***
Peaceful atom flies
Above Polesie, over the dead stubble.
He leaves and willows,
And in all that we eat and drink.
***
All Land accepted: pesticides, uranium and nitrates.
Build a new life after we are imbeciles.
***
Broad is my native land,
Many are the forests, fields and rivers.
I have no other country I know
Where everything is messed up people.
***
Ah, good to live in the country of Russia.
With our chieftain does not have to grieve.
***
Round and spinning blue ball,
Steep and round we with the country,
But watchful people see a mile away,
To twist to the side, just in the wrong.
***
Leave everything on the West by selecting the correct country
Well, we are here to stay in the civil war!

Mikhail Zadornov

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