On the way we communicate, greatly affect our self-esteem and self-concept.
Self-concept — This sense of our identity. This mental image, the human perception of his personality, his abilities, knowledge, and competence. This kind of "I own theory," which can be very little different from the reality. Self-concept is based on individual interpretations of themselves, based on our experiences and evaluations of other people. In the self-concept includes the idea of his own body, the social component, correlated with gender, ethnic, civil perception of themselves as well as knowledge about themselves in comparison with others and a sense of its own uniqueness.
I-concept is formed by the accumulation of specific experience in dealing with life's problems and in obtaining estimates of others, and above all — parents. For the formation of self-concept is very important is the role of the first experience. For example, if a teenager has been rejected at the first attempt to make an appointment, it may in the future consider themselves unattractive to the opposite sex. When we receive positive experience, then there is the belief that we possess those personal qualities that we associate with this experience. For example, if a faster and better Katja stores English grammar than her brother, in his I-concept it will take themselves competent in matters of English grammar.
In contrast to the self-concept, self-concept — Not so much interpretation, we estimate how much of competence and values. That is, self-esteem — not only how well or badly we do things, but even then, what value we attach to this as part of our value system.
Self-concept and self-esteem is directly influenced by the style of our communication. The man with the of detailed self-concept is able to better understand themselves and their own needs. A person with high self-esteem in active communication than man low.
Our self-image is much stronger influence on our behavior than our real abilities. For example, a person has the skills and expertise to become a leader. But he would not show them when the need arises, as it believes that it does not have this ability.
However, our self-concept and self-concept rarely reflect that what we really are. The gap between the misperceptions and reality itself is called incongruence.