October 29, 2011 16:03
The wounds is the title? How they are used by unscrupulous people and, most importantly, how they make it?
About this in the book "Safe chat, or how to become invincible!" Tell therapists Dmitry Kovpak and Andrew Kamenyukin.
Manipulation and manipulators
Manipulation — a kind of psychological warfare that is used to flush the introduction into the psyche of the victim goals, desires, intentions, attitudes, or facilities of the manipulator, which do not coincide with the actual current needs of the victim. The victim of manipulation … people can be only if he acts as a co-author, partner process. Manipulation — is not so much violence, much temptation, playing human weaknesses and vulnerabilities. These vulnerabilities are defined by features of the psyche and outlook of people, their values and system of relations.
No man would not face the manifestation of another impact. Manipulator can be anyone — a business partner, boss, family member, broadcaster, politician, or even ourselves.
Below we consider in more detail the most common types of manipulation and methods of opposition to them, which is said to be an antidote.
"Foot in the door"
This method is often used to manipulate the market traders and salespeople. He concludes that the first seller persuaded not to buy, but only to "try" or "try on" their goods. In this case, there is a simple but effective trap for the mind. On the one hand, we do not offer anything dangerous or bad for us seems to be retained full freedom of any decision. However, once you try to put on or proposed, as the seller immediately sets another sly question: "Well, I liked it?". Negative answer to this question is not easy at all, and even more so if you are "examples" to the product and you liked it. Most often in such a situation you certainly answer in the affirmative. And thus, as it give an involuntary agreement to purchase. Indeed, although it seems to be is solely about the taste sensations or appearances, in fact, for the interests of the seller is hiding another question: "Are you going to buy?"
For example, sellers of vacuum cleaners for a long time in the West, and now we have, often offer free use of carpet cleaning, based on what really hit the home owners will be able to convince them of the need to buy this particular vacuum cleaner. The main thing for them — get internal meeting, and then they were able to expand their arsenal of "domestic intermediates" a variety of manipulations.
Antidote: Do not feel embarrassed, refusing the imposed sentence. Your feelings of guilt and discomfort in this case — only the product of false beliefs and irrational attitudes, which could play fixers. Remove the strings, which is played in this case the manipulator can, abandoning desire to please everyone. Stop try to "always be on top" — this will help prevent many problems.
The decision here and now
This technique is aimed at manipulation to get people to make a decision immediately. Manipulator provoking and sometimes directly insists that it is imperative to determine the "here and now", because "tomorrow will be too late." "Grab your bags, go station," and similar verbal threats form demands a quick and hasty decision. Create fuss and emotional stress reduces the awareness and behavior of the reasonable control of the situation. It uses mass speculators from railway stations thieves to participants in financial pyramids.
Antidote: It should work out for themselves the rule of "do not take hasty decisions." You can get ten times smaller wins against hasty decisions, but suffer the loss of a much more ambitious, the next of the same rash. No wonder the proverb says that "tomorrow is a new day." In order not to "burn", should not be addressed immediately, and take note of the information, postponing a decision on the time required for its consideration. Hurry slowly.
"Carthage must be destroyed"
Equipment reps — another effective way to manipulate people's minds. During the Punic Wars — life-and-death struggle between Carthage and Rome — a stern Roman senator Cato the Elder was famous assimilation of habit. Speaking in the Roman Senate, as whatever he said — whether the election commission or the prices of vegetables in the Roman market — every speech Cato always ended the same phrase: "And besides, I think Carthage must be destroyed! "the senator was the goal — to give students to this idea. This repetition of the same phrase in the end really got used to the senators behind it so thought that the coming destruction of Carthage was something natural for them. Above the wise old man laughed at first. But then it happened, as he wanted: as a result of the terrible bloody struggle Rome defeated Carthage was razed to the ground, and the place where he was standing, plowed Roman plows.
Antidote: Keep track of the pressure exerted on you, including the technique of repetition. Do not let the number go into quality, reminding myself the arguments of their own position.
The use of obscure words and terms
Be valid, as the saturation of speech buzz words and complex concepts, can cause different reactions in the interlocutor. On the one hand, it creates the impression of the significance of the problem under discussion, the weight of the arguments cited, the high level of professionalism and competence of the speaker. On the other hand, the use of obscure, pseudo-scientific terms can cause the opposite reaction opponent as irritation, alienation and psychological care protection. However, this trick is possible, when a contact hesitate to ask again about something or pretend that he understood what was going on, and adopt the arguments.
Antidote: Do not be afraid to admit his incompetence, show your ignorance. It is impossible to know everything. What is important is not the level of scholarship, but only the will and the desire to find out what is necessary and useful. Mindlessly memorize vocabularies — Errors like learning the phone book. The surest antidote to this kind of manipulation — no fear of exposure and found to be in ignorance of anything.
This technique is to achieve something, persistently expressing desire the opposite of what is actually desirable. The fact that the focus on the execution of the request is highly desirable (for example, its repeated repetition) leads rather to failure to execute it. And often provokes are strictly opposed. This antagonism and use the paddles.
Example: in his famous request, "Do with me what you will, Brer Fox, but please do not try to throw me into the bush!" (In the book D. Harris, "Tales of Uncle Remus") Rabbit crane rely just on achieve the opposite effect. Of course, Fox threw it exactly in the same bush, which, as you know, was a home of manipulating podnatorevshy Rabbit.
Antidote: Before asking irritated from molestation and decide to "do the opposite", try to ask about the purpose of the interlocutor and the real motives for such behavior.
Using the "opinions of the masses"
When using this technique is the selection of judgments, sentences, phrases, creating the impression as if it does it. Message, for example, may begin with the words: "All normal people understand that …" or "No sane person would argue that …", etc. Through the "common ground" in humans cause a feeling of confidence in the fact that most members of a social community, with which he identifies or opinions that are relevant to him, accept these values, ideas, programs, etc.
Antidote: Observe overgeneralization. They are characterized marker words such as all, none, everywhere, anywhere, ever, ever, and similar signs of irrational installation.
Peresprashivaniya inappropriate or hinder clarification
This manipulation is achieved by the fact that the manipulator pretends to want something better for yourself to understand. He asks you, but just repeating your words at the beginning. Next arm only partially tells the same, bringing in what you say before a different meaning. Thus, it changes the value of the total said to please yourself.
Antidote: It should be very careful when your opponent asks for something, what you have said. Always Listen for what you say, and, seeing the catch, check your words and statements. And even in the case where the manipulator pretends not to notice your urge once again to clarify his position and tries to move on to another topic.
Artificial indifference or psevdonevnimatelnost
This technique consists in the fact that the manipulator tries as much as possible and take the indifferent companion and the information. So he calls his opponent unconscious desire by all means try to persuade the manipulator in its significance for him. Manipulator can only control coming from the object of their manipulation of information, getting the facts, previously the object was not going to spread.
Antidote: Take your time and do not throw all the cards on the table. More precisely control your emotions and behavior.
Manipulation of fear
The use of people's fear — one of the favorite tricks of manipulators of all types and kinds. Very often they play on the lack of awareness of rights. As a child, frightened parents: "You will behave badly — take Uncle policeman", "You will do poorly in school — will become a janitor." Now bosses frightening threat of dismissal, husband / wife — the threat of divorce, friends or girlfriend — the loss of relationships. Even television frightens us grim news, and advertising carious monsters germs in the toilet bowl and the smell of sweat.
Antidote: Find out how real the threat. Check for themselves the extent and probability of danger, to seek independent and reliable sources of information, it is better to several.
Manipulation with presuppositions
The human brain is designed in such a way that it automatically think out the information missing in the proposal. Partners can offer each other the illusion of choice, "Will you give me the money now, or tomorrow?" Presupposition — "you still give me money." "In what currency you prefer to pay?" Presupposition — "you will pay." Another example: "Let us know what you like," Galina Blanca. '" Love for this brand declared as an axiom. Options artificially narrow to assess the "what"? And one more modest choice — to write or not to write. Or, as cunningly formulated his question Carlson: "You stopped drinking brandy in the morning?" The answer "yes" or "no" to the same extent puts interlocutor in an awkward position. Defend the same from presuppozitsionnyh charges deployed may not have time or arguments. This technique is often used in the "black" PR spin doctors.
For reference: the presupposition (from Lat. Prae — front, front and sup positio — podkladyvaniem, mortgage) — it is not expressed, but is meant by the statement information. This is what the speech is perceived as a "true" non-negotiable.
Antidote: The tactics of avoiding this kind of manipulation is similar to that used in the case of opposition closed questions. It consists in this: not to accept the imposed framework manipulation, express their own version of events and look at the situation.