What hinders communication

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Have you ever been in the course of your story about a problem to be interrupted by a similar remark: "Do you think it's bad I'll tell you now about the case with me when …?"? After that conversation to intervene themselves, leaving you unheard and forgotten.

There is nothing easier than to close or cool conversation. Consciously or unconsciously, we do it all the time.

There are so-called "saboteurs communication" that undermine our communication with others. Which of them do you actively use?

Saboteur
communication

Example

Who does that?
You / Other

THREATS
(Causes fear, submission, resentment, hostility)

"If you can not come to work on time, we will have to think about the possibilities for your dismissal, "" Do as you said, or … "

 

ORDERS
(When we resort to power over others)

"Urgent go to my office," "Do not ask why, do as you're told."

 

CRITIQUE
(Negative)

"You are not working diligently." "You are constantly complaining about."

 

OFFENSIVE nickname

"This can be said only an idiot": "Well, you're a fool"? "What more can you expect from a bureaucrat"

 

WORDS, "debtor"

"You have to behave more responsibly." "You have to look at the facts," "You should not be so angry."

 

Hiding important INFORMATION
(Replica-trap)

"You have this project will appeal," — not saying that is associated with it.

 

INTERROGATION

"How many hours did it take you to that?", "How much does it cost?", "Why are you so late?", "? What do you do"

 

PRAISE a trick

"You have so well-received records, you do not write another one?"

 

DIAGNOSIS OF MOTIVES OF CONDUCT

"You are obsessed with the possessive", "You have never had the initiative."

 

UNTIMELY TIPS
(When a person just wants to be heard)

"If you put things in order on your desk, you would have no reason to panic," "Why did not you do it this way?";

 

BELIEF LOGIC

"There's nothing to be upset. All this is quite logical."

 

DISCLAIMER OF DISCUSSION

"There's nothing to discuss. I do not see a problem here."

 

CHANGE OF TOPICS

"Very interesting … I watched yesterday a funny movie …"

 

COMPETITION

— I ended last week in a terrible accident …
— This is what you would have looked at my …

 

The denial of complacency

"Do not be nervous," "Do not worry, everything will be fine", "let it be", "You look beautiful."

 

 

"Saboteurs communication", similar to the above, many familiar and easy to convince us that the basic requirements for normal human communication, in this case, are not respected. Perhaps the impression gained from these observations, it was not intentional. Perhaps a more careful choice of words would have made a good impression, however, is not much help in that case, if real barrier to communication is to your overall attitude toward this person.

If you want your relationships with the people were good, your manner of communication is to transmit them to you:

— assess them as equals and do not want to bend them to his will;

— respect their right to a personal opinion and not going by hook or by crook to convince them to stand on your point of view;

— respect and value their solutions and do not cross them;

— respect their values and experiences.

Analyze your communication style when you feel that you are cut off or blocked. What are your actions have caused such a reaction from others? What have they done to make you this reaction? And remember, never too late to improve your communication skills.

Based on the book H.Kornelius "Conflict."

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