In every family there are certain objective, not always conscious parents educational system. Refers to the aims and methods. On this basis, there are four tactics training, which correspond to the four types of family relationships: diktat, guardianship, non-interference and cooperation.
The dictates of the family is shown in the systematic suppression of some members of the family (mostly older) initiative and self-esteem of others. This does not mean that parents should not make any claim to the child. However, those who prefer to order throughout and violence faced resistance child which responds to pressure, coercion, threats of their countermeasures: hypocrisy, deceit, outbreaks of rudeness, and sometimes outright hatred. But even if the child resistance is broken, and with it are broken and many valuable personality traits: self-reliance, self-esteem, creativity, faith in themselves and in their capabilities. Reckless authoritarian parents, ignoring the interests and views of the child, the systematic deprivation of his right to vote on matters pertaining to it — all of it is a guarantee of serious failures formation of his personality.
The main interest of the parent becomes the child's needs and the protection of its difficulties, worries. Such children are often the most ill-suited to life in the collective. After all, parents essentially isolated from the reality of their child, they do not teach problem-solving skills, and often — and communication skills with peers and adults.
It is these children who seemed to have nothing to complain about, begin to rebel against excessive parental care. If dictation involves violence, order, rigid authoritarianism, the ward — caring, protection from hardship. However, the result is much the same: the children no independence, initiative, they are somehow excluded from addressing issues affecting them personally, and the more general problems of the family.
Passive parents often choose non-interference. With this tactic in the house as if the two worlds co-exist in parallel — adults and children. Moreover, neither the one nor the other should not be intended to move abroad. Unlike overprotection such approach is called gipoopeka. Children, whose lives are not too interested in parents, typical demonstrative behavior caused by lack of attention.
This type of relationship is based on joint activities for children and adults. This family exists as a single organism, which are mediated by collective personal tasks. In families, to elect a flexible cooperation system of punishment and praise. Parents provide the child with the right to be self-sufficient in some areas of their lives, not prejudice his rights at the same time require the performance of duties. In such a family, the child has the best chance to buy a normal self-esteem, ability to adapt to real life and communication skills.