The problem of aggression in children: a bully or a victim?

The problem of aggression is quite acute in today's world. And we adults do not always know how to peacefully resolve their disputes, and as it does in young? They're studying, looking at you — the parents.

Aggression — the normal reaction of any living organism, it is necessary for survival and achieve their goals. Without aggression we would not have built the cities, not to make scientific discoveries and inventions. Psychologists treat aggression as a force with which the person seeks to implement his plans, and it is certainly a valuable asset. But sometimes aggression out of control and cause damage to both the man and his environment.

Toddlers are two types of problems with aggression. If this is set out in a simplified version, you get a "aggressor" and "victim."

The problem of aggression in children: a bully or a victim?The aggressors are not able to cope with the manifestation of his anger, he does literally floods, spilling the native, kindergarten teachers and other children. First of all, it takes away from the relationship with their peers — kids begin to fear and get round bully, and after a while he will feel isolated. This, in turn, causes more irritation and desire for revenge.

Why baby begins to show aggression? From the fear of appearing weak and non-self. Of inattention on the part of relatives and ignoring the desires and needs of the child, "oboydeshsya, think — he wants to." A role play and parental attitudes, "the strongest wins," "you have to fight for everything," "And you let him in the nose, so he will fall behind." Sometimes it is really important that the child was able to stand up for themselves and others has shown that he is not a wimp. But it is better to show your child a different strategy and learn to solve problems peacefully. Just do not forbid him to express his aggression, just offer to react differently, "let off steam" harmless to the surrounding method. The child, which learn how to build diplomatic relations with peers, it will be easier later in life.

The reverse side of the coin — the so-called victim. Laughing at him, taunting him with it do not want to be friends. "Why" — think parents. A reason could be anything: a bad physical condition (considered a weakling or he can not fight back), unfashionable view, poor academic performance, weight gain. People sympathize with those who are similar to them, and those who are somehow different, perceived as an outsider. As adults, we know how to hide these feelings under the mask of politeness, but the children all on the surface.

A separate reason for the dislike of the other children — splintery character. A quiet-looking child has mastered and emboldened, all starts teasing, touching their most vulnerable points. Of course, such a child will avoid — who is nice to be unkind to ridicule? Try to explain to your child that other children hurt to hear obzyvalochki, it hurts them, even baby learning to be empathetic.

How to help a child who is an outsider among the other children? Try to understand the reason for such a situation. Perhaps the child is all right, he just got into an aggressive team, which made things out by force, then the solution is to change the kindergarten. If child is being beaten, an adult will have to intervene — a talk with the teachers and parents of the aggressors. In no case do not tell your child that he is a wimp if he can not fight back — this has a negative impact on it and so is not too high self-esteem.

The problem of aggression in children: a bully or a victim?And what if the baby was transferred to the other kindergarten, and the situation repeats itself? Be patient and be engaged with the child. If he has a weak physical condition, write to the sports section or Instill interest to recreational activities: roller skating, cycling, dancing. Do joint forays into nature, in the park, study plants and birds — let the kid new knowledge that will later shine in a team. Arrange a holiday on which your child will be in charge, and invite his friends — it will increase the credibility of the child in front of other children.

The problem of aggression in children: a bully or a victim?If a child is overly emotional, the pediatrician may recommend a sedative and to support and protect his nervous system from overloading. Do not immediately turn to serious money — for a student recommended softer means, do not cause sedation and drowsiness. For example, "tenotome children." This drug is not only soothing, but also improves memory and attention.

And the most valuable support for the baby will be the realization that his parents love him and will love whatever it was — bad or good, or excellent student achiever, with victories and defeats.

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