Postpartum Depression

So, you become a mother. Otshumeli enthusiasm relatives have long wilted flowers with which the happy dad met you out of the hospital. Began severe everyday life, filled to the last child crying, washing, ironing, cleaning and cooking.

You spin around all day like a squirrel in a wheel, and it still does not have time. Do you bad, everything goes wrong, you will not understand, and have the patience to the limit. What's going on? It looks like you have postpartum depression.

Symptoms of depression

• Your eyes are constantly on the wet spot — are you crying about, and without reason.
• Crying baby makes you rage. Are you ready to do anything you want, as long as this little tyrant finally fell silent.
• You have a strong feeling that all the relatives watching your every move and just waiting for you to do something not so — then they have every right to be teaching you life.
• You feel completely helpless in the face of circumstances. You have nowhere to hide, no one can help you protect and takethemselves load of mothering. It is terrible forthemselves and even worse — for the child. In this case, you do not feel any joy, caring for the baby, although properly follow all the doctor's orders. Yes, you have given birth to this baby, but he will still stranger.
• You are afraid to break every minute, so try to take care of yourself as closely as possible. But inside you like a compressed some spring is getting stronger and stronger.
• Sex makes you feel a deep disgust.
• Do not even want to once again approach the mirror. Throughout the pregnancy you were dreaming that after giving birth again become slim and light, but the reality turned out to you too severe. Most skinny jeans still lie on the far shelf, and you have to be content with wide loose overalls, as in the sixth month. Own kind of annoys you.

Postpartum depression not necessarily include all the symptoms, but if you have at least four of them — it is an occasion to think seriously.

Why do I need to deal with depression?

First, it affects not only you, but alsobaby. After all, in spite of the fact that a very small, too, feels that he is alien to you. So, you have no emotional connection — so important at this tender age. Found that postpartum depression affects the mother's child, especially on the formation of a sense of security, the internal mechanisms of self-defense, concentration, speech and language development.

Secondly, if there is no help from the outside and your own inner resources to deal with depression, it is not "resolve" itself. On the contrary, your condition every day will only get worse. Remember the stories of mothers and grandmothers about how the first year of their child (especially the first-born), they are remembered as a nightmare? Nightmare can last from several days to several years. And the longer it lasts, the greater the impact on all aspects of family life.

Relatives and friends

In many cultures there is quite a useful custom — after giving birth to the new mother for at least a month to come close relatives and take care of all the housework, freeing it from the newly made mother. Alas, this wonderful tradition in the past. But no one bothers to ask you for help mum, sister or mother in law. Moreover, it is better to find au pair in advance, not at the moment when you are already at the limit.

Tell us what is happening to you. It only seems to you that everything is clear, and there is nothing to explain. From the side it looks the same differently. Relatives also recommend to refrain from phrases like: "You could have to pull yourself together and do not become limp" or "According to me, it behaves at least unfair", etc. Young mother needs most right now in your comfort, love, and real help with the housework.

Agree with her husband that once a week you arrange a "mother's day off." Think in advance how you want to spend it — in a beauty salon, a guest favorite girlfriend in the pool, sauna or in a cafe. The main thing — to get out of the house, from the familiar surroundings.

Discuss with your husband your reluctance to have sex. Only try to do it tactfully. Doctors do not recommend making love for 4-6 weeks postpartum — for purely physiological reasons. But then keep in mind — sex often helps to get out of depression.

I myself?

If you do not have a free moment to yourself, your favorite, think rationally arranged to your life.

• Can come to the rescue of good, quality semi-finished products from trusted shop or restaurant. Yes, it's not the cheapest food, but now is more important than you spend some time for yourself than to cook gourmet food and delicacies.
• Try as one can more sleep — preferably with your child. Another option — to lay the baby on the day sleeping on the balcony. If you fear that you will fall asleep and did not hear his rallying cry in handy baby monitor — a device that lets you hear every squeak in the distance.
• Do not become a "broody". Try to read at least anything except cookbook and television programs for the week. By the way, is a great option — read while breastfeeding. Lie on your side, kid leans closer to him, for he put the book. But first yet "Hang out" with a child — he was waiting for this happy instant. Look him in the eye, stroke, tell him how good he is. And when he slumber, and can be read.
• Remember, finally, about his hobby (or slide it — now is the time). The main thing — do not give brain "sour" in diapers and gruel.
• Instead of antidepressants can poprinimat vitamin C and calcium — these substances young mom experiencing particularly strong demand.
• Select someone the role of the therapist, who can complain to your hard life. Some husbands do an excellent job with this role, but others are capable of falling into depression, learning problems svezherodivshey women. My mother is not very suitable for this role — too impressionable. But the sister or girlfriend suit you best.
• A great way to relax — music and dance. You can with the baby in her arms. The rhythmic movement and vibration of voice (if you sing along to) relax mom and soothe baby. By the way, it is good to have during pregnancy to learn the easiest auditory training for relaxation. Almost everyone is good for communion with nature, so walk in the nearest park can give you a good mood and at the same time improve the complexion.

Many of the recommendations that you feel are quite familiar and commonplace. But the main thing here — not a theory, and practice. Start doing for yourself though anything even as long as a force. And the results will not be long in coming — and you and the child, and for your entire family.

Inessa Smyk magazine "Be healthy"