Unplanned pregnancy: personal aspects

Unplanned pregnancy: personal aspects.  Photo from www.veer.com

Of course, perfect when everything in life is going according to plan — education, career, marriage, birth of a child … But, unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) the facts and then make our lives its own changes. And it is likely, such a circumstance may be, andpregnancy, The onset of "suddenly" came on, when nobody was waiting. Whether somewhere miscalculated, or relied on Russian random, and whether contraceptive failure (a rare case, but then it happens). Most likely, you've already made the decision to keep pregnancy, otherwise you are unlikely to be interested in our encyclopedia. Butstill a variety of thoughts do not give you peace of mind — how to tell family and friends, and most importantly — the father of the child, what will happen now with their studies or career, how to deal with domestic issues, etc. Do not worry, everything is in your hands!

Future Pope

Of course, in the beginning of your feelings can only be described as shock and confusion. But gradually you get used to its interesting position, to stick with it. It now remains to announce the news, first of all, the father of the child, and a little later — the parents and other relatives, boss, etc.

Alas, it is only in the nicest man movies, learning about the pregnancy of his beloved, begins in delight to wear it on your hands and floods million scarlet roses. The reality is far harsher. Even the most loving and responsible man is not easy to accept the idea of an unplanned pregnancy. He is afraid of new worries and concerns, radical lifestyle changes, and even if you have always been faithful to him, almost every gnawing worm of doubt in his fatherhood. He gradually get used to the prospect of future changes andsometime will be a wonderful and loving father, and yet — give it a little time and do not get me wrong, if it will take a little longer than you would like.

Ifalso feel that the father of your unborn child is ready to throw you in such a difficult situation, do not try to blackmail him as a child and to demand immediate 'formalize relations. " Legally, unfortunately, does not guarantee happiness. And let's any consolation thought that the dishonesty of the man emerged from the very beginning of your relationship. The society has long changed attitudes to single mothers, and now they are called differently — self-reliant. For them, by the way, there are special training courses for childbirth. Perhaps they will help you deal with a number of problems that occur in single-parent (or parent) families.

Try to think in this situation the kid about his well-being, because when you are experiencing negative emotions, pipsqueak feels discomfort, stress throughout the perinatal period.

Study: between the session and the baby

Often pregnancy comes after the institute did not go as planned, and during the study. This situation is fairly common — about 60% of expectant mothers combine pregnancy and study. Of course, it is not easy. But it will be easier if you keep in mind the following:

  • Already in the first months of pregnancy put dean aware of their situation, talk like you better build their plans.
  • If possible, place an free attendance to the condition of compulsory surrender all control, laboratory, etc.
  • Another option — to issue the individual study plan. To do this, write a letter to the dean's office with a request to establish an individual schedule to attend classes and exams. Specify a good cause — pregnancy and maternity leave for a child under three years of age.
  • Non-core items can be taken to an independent study.
  • Perhaps you do without the sabbatical: at the time of the hospital you have to extend the session. If the expected date of birth falls on the session, you can write a statement about her early surrender. Of course, in this case, some of the stuff you have to learn on their own.
  • Laboratory work related to the production of harmful or hazardous to passing the shops, you have the right to take the theory. Just please be a doctor, certified in the institute's clinic.

But remember, if you decide not to take a sabbatical, do not count onsome special favors and privileges. By law, you are not entitled. However, in most cases, the teachers agreed to make some concessions expectant mothers.

Career: unexpected stop

First of all, do not worry. You will not lose your job. The law prohibits the dismissal of pregnant women and women who are on leave to care for children under three years of age. However, in some organizations there is an implicit prohibition onpregnancy (Sometimes this point even prescribed in the contract). But keep in mind — the validity of the ban has not. An employer can not terminate "employment contract with a pregnant woman unless liquidation of the organization." But it is unlikely because of your pregnancy, it will go to the elimination of the entire company.

It is believed that pregnant employee — the worst thing for the chief: they have to pay for maternity leave, let go early from work, and in general to all sorts of concessions. In fact, these issues are somewhat exaggerated, because maternity and maternity leave, as well as a lump sum, the employer fully reimburse the state. So do not be tormented by guilt when you are trying to "get in the position of" chief. For you now the most important thing — health and good spirits.

In most cases, the expectant mother can combine work and pregnancy almost to the birth. However, keep in mind that some of the complications of pregnancy for some time have to forget.

Thus, can not work if you:

  • the threat of termination of pregnancy
  • recurrent miscarriage (this diagnosis is made, if a history of more than two spontaneous interruption for up to 22 weeks)
  • Placenta previa
  • Gestoses

This is a very serious problem that requires drug therapy and hospitalization if not, then at least strongly bedrest.

If the situation is not so critical, but it is hard for you to be at work full time, you may be allowed to work from home and keep in touch with the office or on the Internet does not work all week, but only some part etc.

A separate issue — when returning to work after childbirth. Sometimes the rhythm of modern life does not allow more stops on the way and you have to go back to work (especially if you take a high position there) soon after birth. In this case, think over in advance, who will remain a baby, now join in finding a good babysitter.

Gen. or life?

Domestic issues — individual care expectant mother. Of course, ideally, everyone wants to have a child was at least a private room with a bunch of toys, fashion clothing and the best food. But in fact, the most important thing for the baby — were next to you. Sliders, even from the most expensive shop evaluate it until you are able to. And other veshchichek actually need much less than it seems at first glance. They will happily share with you friends and acquaintances, because babies grow very quickly, and things are almost in new condition.

And when the baby gets older and you go out to work, you will be able to provide him with everything needed for a dignified life.

Children of the same age-

Often re- pregnancy comes when your first-born just a few months. Of course, the two small children — it is never easy. But keep in mind that the most difficult will be only the first year or two. Then the children will learn to hold themselves together for a long time to play and find a lot of common themes for joint action, because the age difference will become less and less visible. Surely you have not had time to give things a stroller, etc., remaining after the eldest child — so that this, too, can be a good idea to sa
ve money.

In short, you're pregnant — and it's perfect!

Inessa Smyk

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