My neighbor — a witch!




Judging by the postmark, the letter with no return address it to the editor of Konstantinovka. Judging by the absence of the same grammatical errors and the ability to logically present their conclusions and findings — from a person competent and sane. And since today, even a child knows that our world is far more complex and mysterious than what we have been taught once militant materialists, then we decided to publish the letter unchanged.

"As a child my grandmother taught me, if you will rush past the dusty whirlwind, insert it in the center of the pre-shaded cross knife. If at this point there will be a drop of blood, and the whirlwind suddenly groaned weakened and will fall down — and then you ruined a witch. Such vortices in childhood flashed past me many times, but with his own "ruin witch" I was once hesitated. First, I was terribly afraid of blood, and secondly, I have at this time did not turn out in the hands of a knife. And thirdly — I'd like to see such a trickster, who this time to make the sign of the cross knife but still manage to stick it to the center of the vortex racing frantic zigzags. Over time, this "antivedmatskom" method, I somehow forgot. And recently remembered again.

…My old neighbor has taken hold on the family. Both partners are well past 30. The stranger seemed to lack of children. Therefore, the street and the rumors that the black-eyed, flexible and slim pullet stole someone else's husband, and that we love to have fled from a neighboring district. To me, these rumors have been on the drum — I have my own business, I love my wife and children, and therefore no such talk, no burning looks, which fired me over the fence sometimes gypsy eyes new neighbor, I absolutely did not touch. And she made fun of me or, frankly, or "frame."

On the snowy evening I returned home completely sober, but inflated to the limit. Again, not the case "has driven" tax. My driver, returning to the "Gazelle" from Zaporozhye, on the turn went into a skid, struck broadside into a tree and smashed a few boxes of vodka and champagne. Well, every other damn thing. In general, the black stripe, and only. But at home waiting for me beloved and loving family, and the closer I came to it, the more calming.

Approaching the gate (everything else I broke down and the car), I noticed through the twilight in his backyard for a movement. Came closer, looked closer and saw the black eyes of thieves, who, looking at me, burning through the rays of the evening mist. My house stands in the courtyard, to the left boundary line adjacent to the neighbor's shed with a woodshed. In the barn milking a goat, a pig, and the other animals that are roost.

I am a man of the world but to be honest, this view has led me to some frustration. Immediately flashed the thought: "And the neighbor-that seems to be stolen, and her husband was not enough! Well, hold on, paskudnitsa. Do you think our brother just beckoned hem, so it immediately and raskisnet? Not on your life! "

With such drastic thoughts here and I stepped through the gate. That, perhaps, is our neighbor humanly ran to us for some of their everyday need, I did not even think. As before, she in our yard has not started running. But as soon as I slammed the gate, and as she turned, slowly, toward the barn. And there was calm and confident, both in their own backyard, just shaking his hips steep, hidden black shawl. Then I just got angry — well, irresistible, hold on!

Before entering the shed I almost caught up with her, but she opened the door and stepped out the door sharply. I have not had the brakes and ran into her. It was quite high, and it turned out that she and I just came across "chest to chest", "lips on the mouth." Then something snapped in me and I understood everything and all knowing as if out of the game at the same time taking it, though passive, but a very real part. So, anyway, but it turned out that I was her first kiss and made it almost professional. And she said to me once. But how?

Believe me, I have with women is all. But this kiss I have never in my life felt and I fear that once again it will never happen again. After all these kisses guy burned to the ground. Neighbor was dressed for winter, but in spite of this, found itself in the arms of my so hot and lithe body, it seemed to me completely naked. She threw me a viper, hard pressed, and I felt my anger somewhere instantly vanished, and the resistance completely exhausted. I kind of saw myself from falling with it at somewhere arisen on a pile of straw still grandfather's sheep fur coat, which he himself has recently locked in the garage.

As he fell, I saw a goat, which the sight of this "phenomenon" bleated and frightened, hiding her head, huddled in a corner. In an adjoining barn anxiously zahryukal pig, and from the hayloft in the open doorway shied flock of sparrows. One of them with fear and did not calculate torpedoed me to fly straight to the temple. That's me and sober. I restored the balance, struggling witch tore from him, and pushed it aside. It can be seen, she realized that her charms this time had no effect. I again passed over the veil over his eyes, I heard something like a sinister chuckle. When once again came to his senses, he saw only a frightened to death goat, tossing on a leash, and a shrill squealing piglet. On a pile of straw, still lying sheep fur coat. I rushed out the door, but saw nothing. Heard only a faint smell … No, no, not at all sulfur, and some very fine cologne.

I stopped near the gate. And then saw from the barn to me by drawing intricate monograms, moving blizzard. I somehow mechanically pulled from a hidden pocket with a switchblade knife, pressed the button, and also mechanically, his cross over. And when the whirlwind caught up with me, I jabbed the blade into a snowdrift. No not heard a moan, and ashamed of his zany action, he went into the house. But imagine my state when in the morning, going to work, I saw on the very site … alevshey spot of blood on the snow. "I guess our cat lifted someone's pigeon" — I tried to calm myself. But not reassured.
His wife about the meeting and about a witch hunt I did not say anything — she's a woman I was very impressionable, emotional, and once again excite her I would not. And what to tell something? It is possible that it would have made fun of me just — because we protusovalis her all the youth in the League and in the hell are not believed. Goat ours, by the way, died a few days later, the veterinarian cause of her death was not established. Lodger and her husband moved to another street — a neighbor refused them shelter. "Some she was … not like that! — Said the old woman, when I inquired about the cause of failure. — Zaboyalis I am … "I'd like to find me a witch and talk to her heart to heart. Yes, all the way … I'm afraid I still osmeet the whole village and defames. And what a kiss was, guys! These kisses are not forgotten! "

Michael FISH


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