If the crises three-year old baby and a rebellious teenager somehow heard all, the crisis of seven years, is often imperceptibly. Lost something on the background of the first brand new backpack and which are old-old in kindergarten rods and hooks. Meanwhile, it is quite an important stage of development of the little man.
The crisis does not excuse to neglect themselves and if do not pay attention to him, can keep the memory is not the most pleasant effects such as poor performance, problems in communication, unwillingness to learn, and sometimes — and neurosis. But this can be avoided if the time notice of the crisis and help your son or daughter to overcome them.
How does the crisis three years
The first and most important manifestation of the crisis at any age — suddenly, out of thin air is changing a child's behavior. And change, alas, not for the better. What is typical for a kid of six or eight years?
- It may be more tired, irritable, he continually appear unreasonable anger at the seemingly empty space.
- Affectation and manernichane. Often, the child becomes a such a fool in front of their peers, which is very annoying adults.
- Escalating aggressiveness. Your docile and quiet child suddenly begins to behave like a real robber. Sometimes it's the opposite — there is excessive shyness.
- Baby really wants to be like adults. It can emulate older brothers or sisters who are familiar high school students. Catchphrase of a girl of six and a half years: "And in this dress I look like a schoolgirl?"
- If the child is in school, his grades suddenly reduced.
- Sometimes, there are fears that increased anxiety and self-doubt.
All it means is that your offspring serious problems — and the physiological and psychological.
What happens to the child
The mother of one now grown-up boy somehow sadly remarked, "In seven years, they have closed the shower. " And, indeed, until quite recently the child was fully open to the world. All the feelings, all the emotions were written all over his face, and was always clear that he now feels, why upset and what happy. Now everything is more complicated. In psychology this is called loss of spontaneity and impulsiveness.
Instead of the first (and note main) rush "I want!" Now there is an idea "And what's it going to be? '.
Of course, the seven-year child also can climb to check the depth of the largest pools in the yard because he really wanted it. But now he is in some way would be to calculate the consequences of the event. And, in any case, then try to bring itself in a more or less decent kind to my mother not to swear.
Her Majesty The game, which was in pre-school aged child is vitally important, is secondary. She gave the kid a lot: it was here he learned to build relationships, play different social roles, the game was the main way of understanding the world. But now her cognitive functions are almost exhausted. You need something more. What is it — as long as the child does not know himself. Adult life attracts him like a magnet. On this and need to make a bet.
The child is now able and willing to learn. And by the way, not necessary to read and write. With equal enthusiasm, he will learn to embroider, sing, rasp and care for animals. It's time for training, to enter into a new school society.
Resolution of the crisis
On the one hand, school solves the problem of a new type of activity, her child may express their growing independence. But on the other hand, for the successful resolution of this issue, that the baby was ready for school. And it needs to pay serious attention to the preparation of school life. Usually parents are recorded in advance of future first-graders in courses to prepare for school, or are hoping to help the kindergarten.
With the intellectual part of this is easier — not that hard to teach a child to read and count. It is much more difficult to prepare him psychologically. It is very important that the child can easily get in touch with their peers and teachers: the right time to give up, and at the right — to defend himself, was able to follow the rules and at the same time, defend their opinions.
Therefore, if the level of psychological readiness for school was low, then a crisis the child does not have to go to school, and in the first and second grades.
Well, if the negative manifestations of the crisis you will be able to translate into a peaceful, constructive way. For example, since.
The family grows two girls — Nastya 17, Ira — 6. More recently, the mother began to notice that Ira literally to the last detail copies older sister — in gait, manner of speaking, clothing, hair, etc. Agree that the youth style and tone of adults have a six-year girls look ridiculous. Nastya is seriously engaged in painting and sculpting, preparing to enter the art college. And to his passion, she managed to involve younger sister. Irisha also has a lot to draw and sculpt, became interested in the history of art. Trappings of "maturity" on the backburner, for now they have a sister there is a common thing that is more important.
Tactics for parents
The main thing is that you have to realize and accept for a successful exit from the crisis — which baby willing and able to be independent. The famous Russian psychologist Yu.B.Gippenreyter offers such simple rules for new and expectant parents of first-graders held:
- Rule 1. Do not get involved in the case, which occupied the child if he does not ask for help. His laissez-faire will you tell him: "Are you all right, you are certainly on the right!"
- Rule 2. Gradually but steadily, discharge care and responsibility for your child's personal affairs, and pass it to him.
- Rule 3. Allow your child to feel the negative consequences of their actions (or its omission). Only then he will grow up and become "conscious."
How does this look in practice?
For example, you call the son to dinner, and he does not respond and continues to do his own thing. When he finally appears in the kitchen, the soup has long gone cold. Of course, it is better if the whole family will gather at the table, but if so it did not work, give the child the opportunity to continue to show their independence. Suggest himself warm up food, and then wash the plate, as all have already eaten and you have to deal with another matter.
The transition to a new stage of development — it's not just the new law, but also new responsibilities. Being an adult — it's not only when you allow yourself to go to visit a friend, but when you can look after his younger brother or sister. Do not be afraid to show their "weakness", complaining of fatigue or malaise. Give your child the opportunity to look after you, take care and attention.
And do not despair! Any crisis comes to an end. Especially nice to know that your child (and with it — and you will), the first and last passes through another difficult stage of development. This is entirely appropriate, and simply means that your treasure is growing. Help him in this hard work!