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If Kohli and Oli asked that day: "What is the shortest month of the year?" — They would not hesitate to answer: "Honey." Only four months after it began, when Oli finally for the first time there is a need to dress (at least on the weekends), they came out with Nicky out of her room in a hostel, holding a segment of crepe de chine, bought the young to the wedding by clubbing all the students and native teachers college, and went to the ladies’ tailor Perel’muter. On that day, Nick knew that his wife — the most beautiful woman in the world, Olga knew exactly what her husband — the most noble and intelligent man, and both of them had no idea of ladies’ tailor Perel-mouter, so do not hesitate pressed his doorbell. — Ah! .. — Cried the tailor, opening the door for them. — Finally! — Shouted that a tailor, like the composer Ludwig van Beethoven, how brilliant musician paint the portraits in this period of his life when he was much older, a little crazy and he is already deafened by their music. [Cut] — You see, Rima? — Perel’muter continued, referring to someone in the depths of the apartment. — By the way, it’s customers! And they’re still coming! And you have told me that after four years of back home stitched hood for Madame Lisogorskoy to me will not come, no sane person! — We have to you about the dress — began Kohl. — We were told … — Listen, Rima! — Interrupted Perel’muter. — They were told about the dress — it’s up to me. Well, thank you, Lord! So, for you still normal people. And then I thought it was all going crazy. And only heard about, "Cardin", "Dior", "Lagerfeld!" … Who is this Lagerfeld, I ask you? — Fumed tailor, stepping on Kohl. — Just think, he puts the Queen of England! No, please, if you want your wife to her young age, looked the same as it looks now the Queen of England, you can go to Lagerfeld! .. — We can not go to Lagerfeld — reassured tailor Kohl. — So this is your good fortune! — In turn, reassured his tailor. — Because, unlike Lagerfeld, I still really can not make your wife the queen. And there are not any English! A real beauty queen! And now to work … But first, last question: do you know what the dress? Shut up! Can not answer. Now you tell me: crawfish, flounces, tucks … Nonsense! This may well be the Lagerfeld. Dress — it’s totally different. Dress, young man, it is primarily a piece of matter created in order to close a woman has every thing that we lose, and open it all on what we win. You see my point? Suppose the lady beautiful legs. So we sew her something very short and thus win on his feet. Or, let’s say it ugly feet, but beautiful bust. Then we sew her something long. That is close to her feet. Instead, open bust, emphasize it and win already on the bust. And so on to infinity … Well, in this case — the tailor looked at Olga — in this case, I think we do nothing we will not open, and will, on the contrary, to sew something very strict, is closed off to the neck and to the feet! — What do you mean "completely closed"? — Nick was taken aback. — And … for what will we win? — On the colors! — Exclaimed happily tailor. — These crimson parrots on a green background, which you brought to me, in my opinion, very cute! — And they took their sartorial meter, he began deftly obmeryat Olya, writing something in a notebook. — No, wait — said Kohl‘s — something I did not quite get it! .. Are you just think that in this case, we have nothing at all can not open? Here, for example, the legs … What you do not like? Are they, in your opinion, are too thin or too thick? — What does … — replied the tailor, not looking up from his work. — Is there in this case? Feet can be subtle, can be thick. In the end, different women are different feet. And it’s good! Worse, when they are different from one … — What-what-what? — Nick was taken aback. — Maybe get out of here, huh? — Asked him Olga. — No, wait — stop her husband. — What are you talking about, dear? As it is — different? Where? — And you look — said the tailor. — Can not you see that the right foot is your charming wife much more massive than the left. It … more muscular … — Really — shopped Kohl. — What does this mean, Olga? Why did you tell me about it did not say anything? — What is there to say? — Embarrassed that. — Just a lot of school, I was jumping high. Defended sporting honor class. A right leg I jog. — There! — Triumphantly cried the tailor. — That’s what I’m talking about! Her left leg is normal. Human. A right — it’s clearly obvious that she in her jog. No! This defect must have to close! .. — Well, let’s — said Kohl. — A bust? — And this, too. — What — too? Why? I, on the contrary, it seems that her bust we can in this case … is … how are you talking about, much to win … So I do not understand why we can not open it? — You see, young man, — said Perel’muter — if in my place was not a tailor, but, for example, a sculptor, then your question, he would say this: before you open a bust, it must at least install. I think that in this case we’ll have the same problem. Do not you worry! Just think, a bust! Believe in the power of the human imagination! Once we properly drape a cloth even what we have now — and the imagination of men easily Doris under this cloth is what Mother Nature with all its might to create can not. And this applies not only to the bust. Take, for example, her face. I, by the way, has always been a very disappointing that such an invention of the ancient oriental fashion as the burqa … — So what are you, offer to put on her veil, and yet? — Kohl’s scared. — I never said that … — Nick, — said Olga, — let’s leave all the same. — Yes you stop already! — Cut her husband. — Should I, after all, to understand … Listen … uh … do not know your name, middle name … well, a bust of you convinced me … Yes, I do see now … But what if we try to win, say, its thighs? — So what? — Interested tailor. — Are you the same offer to open them? — Well, what can be the same as saying you’re there, do some stress … tuck … — It’s possible — agreed to the tailor. — But first you I will emphasize where you see her thighs, and then later I told her at this point do tuck. In general, young people, stop fooling me the head of your stupid advice! You’ve already done the trick. You married. So, you think so, and his wife, the most important in the world of beauty. Now it’s my goal — to convince at least a few more people. And you, young lady, too — "get out of here, let’s go!" Do you want to be beautiful — bear! Everything. At present, the work is finished. Try-in four days. Four days later, the tailor Perel’muter met Kolya and Olga right on the stairs. His eyes sparkled. Congratulations to you, young men! — He cried. — I have not slept for three nights. But, you know, I did understand, on what, in this case, we will win. In addition to colors, naturally. Indeed on my feet! Yes, not at all. The right foot, we, of course, jogging, but left something — is normal. Human! Therefore, I propose the cut. On the left hand side. From the so-called mid-thigh to the floor. Do you understand? Now imagine the picture: a sunny day, you and your wife walking down the street. On her new dress with a slit from Perel-mouter. And everyone is happy! Ambient — because they see the magnificent left foot of your wife, and you — because if they do not see it any less spectacular right! In my opinion, brilliant! Probably … — sour agreed Kohl. Listen, Rima! — Cried the tailor in depth apartment. — And he still doubts! .. A few days later Olga came to pick up her dress without the Koli. — And where is your worthy spouse? — Asked Perel’muter. We broke up … — sobbed Olga. — It turns out that Nick did not expect that I have a number of drawbacks. Ah, that’s it! .. — Said the tailor,
inviting her to enter. — Well, well, — said this tailor, helping her to fasten really very beautiful and very going to her dress. — By the way, I’m your ex-spouse that once did not like. We, ladies’ tailors, in this regard the trained eye. Just think, flaws! To you now, probably not eighteen. Now, do not jump a year or two in height — and both legs you will be exactly alike. A hip and bust … With the market in our city, "Supply" … Well, believe me, after a while you will still have to invent flaws. Because, frankly, we men, women’s virtues only admire. And we love you … I do not even know why. Maybe just for the shortcomings. My Rima, for example, there were a huge number. That’s probably why I still love it just as much as on the first day of our acquaintance, though her ten years ago is not present in this world. How is it no? — Olga was surprised. — And who is it that you are talking all the time then? — With it, of course! And who else? And you know, it’s just the main thing I wanted to tell you about your ex-husband. If a man really loves a woman, it it will not tear apart even as serious as the death of a nuisance! Not that there is some half-mad tailor Perel’muter … Oh, Rima, I’m talking right? Hear nothing. Do not mind … So, I say correctly

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