Fritz Morgen: A touching story of a pig Peter

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Emigration — a very lengthy process, accompanied by large financial costs, emotional costs and serious long-term stress, in most cases, resulting in serious mental injury.

Just like that, ie so today pig Peter lives in Tambov, and tomorrow is suddenly flourishing in Antananarivo, or somewhere else, emigration, in most cases does not happen. Let us consider in more detail the stages of the emigration process.

Moral training

First Peter usually finds a reason for emigration. Peter goes on native Tambov year or two or three, and convinces himself that govnorashke at all bad, but in the "civilized" countries, all plastered with honey. As the song says, "there is a pig he is, and there — a little pig." In this case, about the real situation in the "civilized" countries, Peter did not have a clue.

This period of the emigration process usually takes up to three years, and during that time, Peter transforms itself from a happy prosperous citizen of the country all over the disaffected, spiteful and miserable (due to living in govnorashke) potential occupant of the "free world." And this is stress.

Execution of documents

Finally, Peter takes a firm decision — it's time to throw! — And begin to think where and how. Here it is found that the government "free" and, oddly enough, not very free countries for some reason are not eager to settle at Petra. But there are loopholes. The process of finding loopholes and penetration in these is a good deal for about a year (in the simplest case, when Peter, for example, a Jew), but can easily be stretched to 15 years or so. 15 years is not an exaggeration, know people 15 years of trying to win a U.S. Green Card.

The average period of registration documents for emigration takes from two to five years. Note that the years Peter does not live, and sits on a suitcase: do not buy a new TV, the repair does not get married, and no child gets — why, he's leaving, and there he'll be much better. Peter is waiting for him stress.

Border crossing

And now comes the great day — Peter flies into the air space of their new homeland. At this point, the Miracle: conceptual shit that Peter, as we all were at home turns into a chocolate bar. This is the funniest moment in the whole process of emigration — the belief that this miracle really happened.

Peter comes out of the airport, and begins his own emigration. His suitcase, accumulated in the Homeland 10/05/50 thousand dollars, diploma, say, a taxidermist, and the most promising prospects for the rest of his life. It was at this point Peter, as a rule, discovers that his English or German or Hebrew, the study of which he had already spent two years of life, in fact, no neither English nor German, and even Hebrew. Still, Peter discovers that he does not know, for example, how and where to buy tickets for the bus to the hotel, and with his English he does not have any opportunity to find out. And this is a hard stress. Phase severe stress will continue with Peter at least the next two to three years.

The first years in exile

After about a week or a month or three months, Peter begins to do mathematical calculations — how much is enough imported from the motherland 10/05/50 thousand dollars, despite the fact that about 20 thousand dollars, he has already spent on new clothes, household appliances and food in restaurants, appropriate to the new social status of chocolates. The results of calculations lead to the fact that Peter is easily finds a part-time job as a cleaner toilets, and in advanced cases — a construction worker, a waiter or a taxi driver from the hotel and moved to govnokvartirku in the ghetto.

Peter clear these brief initial difficulties do not upset, because already for the past five years, he has convinced himself and now knows exactly what is in the "civilized" countries, all plastered with honey. Peter does not know that in this govnokvartirke in the ghetto, he will, on average, the next three to five years, and in a very significant percentage of cases — and his entire life pig.

Job Search

In parallel with washing toilets Peter begins to look for a normal, very high-paying jobs in their field. But it turns out that:

1. Unemployment is high and to find any work that is already a great joy, because in the "civilized" countries, economic growth is greater than 3% have not seen for a very long time.
2. Diploma taxidermist, resulting in the Tambov University is quoted is not very high.
3. Pyotr no work experience in their new homeland, he has no recommendations.
4. Peter objectively losing local competitors, because it says in Hebrew with errors and accent.
5. Demand for taxidermists generally not very large. Who could know it then, in Tambov, 10 years ago. When Peter did in college, this was a much sought after profession.

Peter clear these brief initial difficulties again, do not worry, because already for the past five years, he has convinced himself and now knows exactly what is in the "civilized" countries, all plastered with honey. Peter begins to raise the professional level — there is a course, get the necessary practice of working for free (free is not a joke), delivers professional exams and so on. And in the worst case, if it turns out that the situation with the taxidermist absolutely hopeless, Peter from the ground breaking new profession.

This is the day. In the evening, Peter is working on his English, and at night washing toilets, because there is something necessary, and pay govnokvartirku in the ghetto, too, need.

This period of the emigration process usually takes from two to five years and can easily last for 10 years if Peter is not a taxidermist by profession, and, say, a doctor.

In a very significant percentage of cases, immigrant remains in the ghetto life.
But Peter — strong and intelligent people (ie pig), and it all turned out.

Jobs found

Now, two years later, Peter finds his first relatively normal job and into the lower middle class. Peter is almost fluent in English, able to fill out an application for social assistance, knows how to punch a ticket on the bus, and generally have a very good guidance in life in their new homes. Hard stress, in which Peter resided in recent years, slowly subsides. It was during this period Peter gradually climbs out of shit: the first time in recent years, going on vacation, moved from the ghetto to a removable, but relatively decent apartment and buy a car, which can be called a car.

Also during this period, Peter makes a huge discovery: it appears that a good annual salary of 60'000 45'000 dollars or euros does not mean that Peter gets 5'000 dollars a month in cash. After taxes from it remains half, and after the payment of rent apartments, utilities, insurance and other mandatory spending at Peter reaches half of the half, ie 1'250 dollars. This is a case of a good annual salary.

Peter just reached

Two years later, Peter finds a second job is really good, with a very good salary, which take more tax on a progressive scale, its net income increases to $ 1,350 (this is a case of a very good annual salary), and he begins to think about mortgage. Actually at this point "emigration" ends and begins "life."


Overall, considering the minimum: the year of moral training, two years out of a suitcase for three years pahotby and severe stress, two years to get out of shit — it turns 8 years old. And if you do not consider the minimum, then 10 or 15.

Peter is not the young man who once walked the Tambov and tried to persuade myself that govnorashke at all bad, but in the "civilized" countries, all plastered with honey. Now Peter is well over 30 years, and maybe under 40, and he knows that London or Vancouver toilets are not smeared with honey.

The real return of Peter — from 1'000 to 1'500 dollars. His wife could not bear the 8 years of living in shit and drove off to a promising postdoc in Boston, and the new can be taken only in Thailand, if the 150-kilogram American cows are not interested. Children have grown dull because (1) the family library remained in Tambov, (2) when they learned the multiplication table sversniki children are not taught Peter the multiplication table, and English, and (3) to pay for education does not have the money. Health Peter slightly undermined by an eight-stress and washing the toilets at night. Peter did not live on the Champs Elysees, and in New Zazhopiuse, Idaho, 1'000 km to the nearest opera house, or vice versa, in a bomb shelter in Tel Aviv, and it will shoot missiles or, again, on the contrary, in Berlin, in the Soviet five-story building, and the surrounding Germans kept his chock Russian and German Turks — do not understand why.

Mental trauma

Then Peter had to himself the question: "" 'And why, in fact, all of this? "'".

Net income of $ 1,350 are nothing new, even in Tambov, otpahat there for 8 years in a hard stress, Peter was able to become the most important taxidermists throughout the Tambov region. Tales about safety in the ghetto in Los Angeles or pro advanced medicine in the UK at Peter are no longer active.

What does Peter answer yourself the question, "'' why '' '?

Pyotr has exactly two options — either to admit to himself that he moved to New Zazhopius, Idaho, he pissed away his life, or to convince himself that the New Zazhopius, Idaho — a cultural metropolis with the highest standard of living, huge salaries and fine health, but it govnorashka Mordor, which rules the bloody tyrant Putin and the list goes on.

Admit to himself that he moved to New Zazhopius, Idaho or Hamburg or Sydney you out of the blue pissed away his life — very unpleasant, it is a big trauma.

And here begins a relentless, painful lie to yourself, lie did not respond to any argument on any publicly available statistics at all for anything. Ssy's face it — we all God's dew. Well, apparently, you have ten or fifteen years as a bar of chocolate, you live very much in London, Tambov and Mordor were left far behind. Well, what do you need to go to Learn Russian or in any forum, and being as it were, of sound mind and memory write that in Germany the trains run on schedule, in Moscow, tens of millions of the poor, and the minimum wage in France — 1,700 euros? If a person who has lived at least a year in France, said that the minimum wage in France — 1,700 euros, this person is really mentally ill.


Approximately 70-80 percent of the emigrants — blew his life mentally ill people to compensate for their acquired during exile injury painful and persistent lies, first of all to himself.

Stay alert.

Have a look at 20 reasons against "It's time to throw out of the country"

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