Nartir Nartir. Life that I waited

"Labyrinth returns echo …"
Olga Kalenik

"Majestic and terrible was the year 1917 after Christ …" — Unexpected phone ring interrupted reading. Anton swore and picked it up. Bad announcements. Feds took Minsk and moving rapidly to the west. Here, in the capital of the war until the very felt, but the pre-holiday mood was thoroughly spoiled.
The snow was no sign — it was my way, my way. Behind the back of the church remained steep height. Over him, over the snow, over the old Jewish cemetery on the white stringy songs fields and endless ways reigned gray-white spot — the sun in darkness. Something in my heart? It is a native singing pours.
In general, it is time to gather to come. Irreversibly forward. There — in the eyes — longish highway snow-white ribbon. Past the intersection, by the Mother of God, what is at the exit of the village, past the last houses, by the people, through time and place. Stepped on — and I stepped …
Rear stayed home and warm, and there was something in front of about forty miles ildistyh. I once naively believed that to get from 1st Fri another Radzivil must purchase a ticket to the trucks that go there. I remember what seemed obscure young man with a woman who at one point in my hometown asked me where is the exit at Orsha. Well, I could not then realize how they are going to reach its goal. This was before the good people explained to me that the only method of locomotion, decent free traveler — is hitchhiking, others use "tsyvily."
So makarom, ahead was something about forty miles. Need to see that in that place and at that time machines were not very willingly. Picked spynshchykav even less willing, in other words until — no way. So I had to walk on foot. Gradually became less ildistyh km, but now they lay in the moonlight — the sun does in the darkness and fell along with him gone from the sky gray-white veil, instead of could create a ragged blanket and a full moon in vadnym of discontinuities.
Moonlight draws to itself, and gradually hypnotized I applied to some hypnotic sleep. Is the belief that one person is able to break the power of thought and the place to be in its other general Fri or on the reverse side of this world. I stopped uniformly recognize the terrain, and she ceased to know me.
That’s right twinkle lights. Apparently, the village. Login warm? Why not. So I walked through the snow blizzards to Merkle light points. Nearby revealed that this restaurant (a strange place for it anyway so elected shall come — in general, there is heat). With these ideas, I opened the door.
Inside the restaurant was quite comfortable, though small. Several wood tables and chairs, which, like the walls were finished with tasteful designs. In the room there were only two people: a middle-aged sire with a towel and a woman with a stranger to me musical equipment. Sovereign (sure, he was the innkeeper) rospachliva-listened thoughtfully lady who sang in a very beautiful language. In its combined form of authoritative grandeur and remoteness from the world.
So as not to interfere with the singing I took knapsack and sat near the entrance. Innkeeper looked at me and zadumennasts on his face mixed with surprise. So passed a couple of minutes. We listened to the music — and I’m the owner and the woman sang, quite profound in its melody. At one point she looked at me — they do not habitually deepest, approached eynamu canonized the best way possible — on second thought and started the latest song, occasionally glancing at me.
Facial innkeeper reflected a new feeling and he did just a few hand movements noticeable in my direction.
What am I doing? As there still is warm and comfortable and sleepy. You know, like when you’re going for a long time to ride to practically night road when sitting next to the driver, but you do not speak, and the road curving and seeks and develops. Then slowly start to fall asleep, his head tilted below and below you fall asleep. Himself to get out there is practically impossible, it is necessary to collect all the will, but stay hard when you sit and your movement is restricted. So you fall and fall until you withdraws from this state, which nibudt outside — either the driver or sharp words gamavanne.
Dark abyss of sleep I dragged out. Imperceptibly at first, later, harder, harder, so do not break out. Outside disappeared, departed far unattainable, just a snippet of the song soared in the minds: "Nai elyë hiruva! Namárië!" Something strange has led me into the depths. Let me in my sleep! I went down to the dungeon of the soul, deprived of lights in what seemed to wander and stray, there was not the usual roads, there was no road, only a small path. Dark abyss velvet bows and throbbed me from all sides. And here he appeared — Labyrinth. I walked in it was reflected in it, poured it, I met with him, the other was until I was not swallowed darkness.
Darkness slowly let go, she swirled in me, leaving evenly to the farthest corners of the body until it disappears into nothingness of darkness — light. Together with light vorachivalis sounds. They carried with them no music, and shooting, as well as the light brought with it not the image the restaurant, and some place, something familiar, as if he had seen once. Shot and left pretty close. I, of course, did not like and as curiosity overcame caution, I moved to the right. Had to go through the rubble: debris, things sure did not need the owners, a huge concrete slab. Right hand appeared highest building. Step by step I made my way through the rubble. That became noticeable hole in the ground. Is large enough, even with the steps. Maybe the entrance to the underworld? After, I appeared here, I could not believe almost anything.
A closer look at the hole turned out to the subway entrance. Whatever you thought, it was written on "Metro station Guerrilla." In this case specifically, the "underground" and not any occupation "Metro", which is usually decorated inputs into the ground in my town. Inside the station is very similar to the normal me Guerilla. Seen and a massive department store building was specifically Belarus, or as he is called here.
Suddenly:
— Hold it!
At the side there was a young man with a gun. I braked.
— Where are you going? And who are you? Stop right there!
— Where do I go? I do not know.
Hearing me, young man somehow softened a little, and even became a courier not keep threatening, although it also was pointed at me. As it turned out, in May caused padabrenne whiteRussian language.
It turned out that a guy named Vlad and he belongs to the Lithuanian militia. Still, what is it I did not know how he could not understand how I got here.
— Well, you’re not like federala. Maybe you really slammed and you lost memory. In any case, we must proceed from here. Almost the entire city was occupied by the feds. May go down here. Although they are afraid of our metro. It will move to the west. And there will be way to his.
On rails underground walk I had never though always been curious to walk on these dungeons. Dark tunnel, lighted one of our lanterns. So I saw the depths of the town the first time. On the surface, apparently, it was too late, because when I turned there was a smallish sun, and since it was a long. Vladislav was, of course, exhausted. I, too, because that failure in the mist, and after that I got here, is not very similar to a decent sleep.
We decided to spend the night in the subway. Near the tunnel found a small study, in which we braked.
I tried to tell Vladislav, how I got here, but he did not really believed, leaning toward the idea that I knocked and I really do not remember anything. But at my request, he said, about what happened. Of his words I realized that we are in Minsk. Curiously, that Minsk, who knew I was just a dream? Currently almost all the city took federal troops. They uniforml
y moved westward, burning and looting.
My question about Belarus will do without capital, Vladislav stared at me and said that the capital until all as expected, well, do not get to her federasty.
In our general’s Stores found much food that did not need to warm up, that we are very pleased. During dinner Vladislav took somewhere player, not even completely discharged. Despite the war, he was still working. On my request to hear Vladislav continued headphones and poured out loud "No turning back, sweet home, your door’s now closely shut …" Surprisingly, the music was the same here.
I sleep in a clean room in which there was not a whiff. I’m in a dream home. Was it? Either before I had only in a dream? But at home in a dream kept me without giving a step. There was night. Time broke in through the north, it’s time for ghost pagan days. I will kindle a fire of their own torches to throw an uncomfortable home. Yes, he held me. Sticky night pouring from the sky.
It is morning. Vladislav said that he needed to find a few people on the surface, and suggested that I go to the dungeons myself, and later encounter at the Institute of Culture, where the subway connects with railways. There seems to be relatively relaxed. I agreed, as yet was doing?
We moved separately. Now I knew that there was a war on top. I was NOT a tunnel with rails, and other methods — near the tunnel was a regular (or can not one?) Floor, it was a maze of corridors and dungeons, but Vladislav told me where to go and I was sure that in a few hours will be in place.
Room after room, corridor corridor for unfolding network beds. As he walked, I thought about life, which he had left there somewhere far away dream. How to get out of here? I also haunted the woman in the restaurant. Thoughts all vorachivalis there. This went on for a long time. Eventually I got to the newest room — lit red. On the walls of the highest standing cabinets with books. I approached one of them. The books were old, in an incomprehensible language. In the center of the room stood a table. He was deployed several books, also written unfamiliar alphabet.
Out of the room were three outs. I went through some of them. There was also a room with books on This time Belarusian. Outside were four doors. So I walked from room to room, sometimes stopping and reading books from shifanerov.
In one of the caves I came across a diary. Interesting!
"… In a strange longing wandered the streets, anxious foreboding. Seems all this fragile game culture, so that we all like, will be completed soon and will finish scary nobody ever heard of until now bloody chaos."
"… Throughout the discussion and only as a brand new alliance with the East, social optimism, new technological perspective. How do I not curious! Nothing new pans, one is a mechanical filling diary … Life flows between the fingers … Where? "
"… It seems that I can not make out — when I sleep, when abuzhayusya. This transition — from the 1st to another — such fragile, such inconspicuous. If life — the dream, the dream — life …"
"… Brought gray hoodie with the holes in the head but no hands hurry they say everyone expects ask who they say silent faster should the latter is only then that"
Diary was dated 1934 year. He broke off completely at one point.
But standing next to a "History of Lithuania. 1918 — 2006. "We need to look through.’ll Start with content. So, what have we here?
BNR period (1918 — 1934). Later comes the first Russian occupation (1934 — 1941). Next second global war in Lithuania (1941 — 1945). 2nd Russian occupation (1945 — 1991). -Independent Republic of Lithuania (1991 — real time).
But geography near Lithuania. Need to look through!
"Federal Republic of Lithuania (abbreviated names — Lofty Lithuania or Belarus). Capital — Vilnius. Naikrupneyshim city — Minsk. Country is divided into two edges — Lithuania and Etvyz. Centre Lithuania — Vilnius, Etvyzi — Pinsk. This division recorded a referendum in 1993. Municipal languages — Lithuanian (Belarusian) and Etvyskaya. "
No need to read the story. As it became so? Although, it is better to take a. Esteem on the surface. And now — on.
Room with polished floor. Yellowish light on the ceiling. Fate line cut on the floor. Longing for the sea of lanterns on the other side of the window. Endless ocean znichak that, for sure, will never see.
Here, in the dungeons, no windows, it was not for them flashlights. Was only half as if polished hundred square meters feet. And the half-open door, through which shone something red. I walked through the door.
Now fate line seeped reddish punsovastsi right up on the floor breathtaking caves that happened underground. Here it is, in the eyes of this embroidered shirt, this maze. Such and such an eternal friend. Stepped on — and I stepped …
Already both feet flat on the Ruby world that expanded and took a whole place, all around. Step forward. Another step. Red curtain dropped from above. With each movement was to go harder. Tension grew. "Neuzh it end? .." — An idea. "No". Mm per mm peraadolvalasya distance in the air, which was at one time a languid and gooey. The strain became unbearable. And — suddenly — Exemption: Tipo was nothing.
I filed somewhere (it was familiar, is already here and I felt only — where?). Darkness. Light. Darkness. Memoirs petals, petals of snow, which disappeared last human footprint.
Here I hold the blade in his hand. Despair, hatred lie load. Behind his back only corpses. Someone earlier, someone later — all perished. Flash, an explosion somewhere in the head. Prince’s Palace. Anxiety in the air. More flash. Gore. At the bottom, are a succession of people. Endless sea moves there. Darkness. Light. Hands are tied. I — no. I am among those who are proselytizing kstsitstsa under God stranger and February. Pain, fills all.
Later I went out into the night and was the year of the plague, and I did not know what was going … Land remained far along the ground. Raced toward the star. Infinity shocking. Darkness. Light. Forest. Such a cool and moist. In the hands of only the box office. Night. Darkness. Light. And — dead, dead. Blood. "In this world of a million religions everyone prays the same way" "Your praying is in vain It` ll all be over soon "" Father help me, save me a place by your side! "" There is no god Our creed is but for ourselves ". Rotate, razgalinavanne in the maze. Where? Right? Left? Where? Brain refuses to work. I quickly swept through infinity grayish times, not knowing where I am, what I am. Fierce battle with the enemy mercilessly. Mi rival, ¿quién eres tú ..? Unexpected light awakened consciousness. Thus, the right! And again — the reddish sea in snowy shores: the fate of my land. Endless sentence. Bessannyu Nyamiha comprehended. All in vain insomnia someone once traversed paths collapsed on 1st feeble man. Glass heavens trembled and fell clouded earlier than he had to drink …
Night. Thunderstorm. Wind rages over the water. You run down the mountainside when lightning peel it and over time falls from above, on razbivayuchysya white, black and yellow sparks. You pachynaessya first. Rain falls on the ground.
Signet, a full moon, a sieve. In the sky are stars. You — you know.
Age and years of water over darkness.
Razgalinavanni reddish maze, no — mazes. Evenly you forget. Each razgalinavanne gives latest opportunity and they all have. All life — as a weird dream.
Majestic and terrible was the year 1918 from the Nativity. You did not go there again. You always go wrong. Or there? Just do not understand that there. Hmm, grayish robes. Apparently, it’s the end of the BNR, Lithuania precisely as it is now called (since 1921). So, all this made sure. East impossible to resist.
Clearance mist. We expect youth Christma
s and could not wait. You almost do not believe that the wait. The world belongs to the winter, on the kitchen table dance dark cat velvet dance like me. Yes, it came. Velvet come spring.
You go to the right and left immediately. You adbivaessya in tyschah mirrors. You see only yourself everywhere you meet your own eyes. You — Stone, you — the grass, you — water, you — fire.
Wherever you are, one of you lies the city. Minsk city. He pitched a great city Shloyme Etsirvana. There is no wall, there is Minsk and Minsk (as easy as ordinary), and it shares a physical wall. This border can not be damaged by turning the key.
Another you live in one of Minsk, he joined the Lithuanian militia. Goes 2007. All in the Baltic-Black Sea Confederation feel that here in their home will be a repetition of 1996, Chechnya, which they helped so much. This feeling hanging over Ukraine, Lithuania, Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia. First shot felt Lithuania, she made a gift to celebrate the 90th anniversary of the BNR. Overcoat on his shoulders, in a way rubbed off on steel heels. A chest — breathing failure.
You go pulsating trail. She turns to the right, to the left, tends upward. You’re flying among the stars. Spiral movement pulls you and does not return an echo.
Three men were sitting in a depot-Romenskaya Libavo the railroad. Near the place where the underground dungeons vyslizgvae with light. They had misgivings. It was on March 25 was 2008. One of them opened the wine into the glasses and razliv said:
— Well, for the fact that we have got out of here! The day after tomorrow, as luck will be in Vilnius.
— God willing, we will and Vilna!
And in my head sounded:
Away, far away, far away there is somewhere.
Away, far away there’sa dream, there is me.
I’m real, I can feel, just can feel there is someday.
When I, still alive, flying free wish to be.

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