Today's parents do not find him by surprise famous question "about it." Most of them have read the relevant literature and competently tell the younger generation the truth about storks and cabbage. But one thing — the theory, and quite another — to practice.
Baby, as we know, knows the world of the game. In particular, and the world of intimate relationships. What to do if innocent infant play at some point you do not have seemed too innocent?
Usually this type of situation put parents in a dead end — they just do not understand what to do with the kid — to prohibit, to distract, to stop all possible ways? What scares modern parents in the "forbidden games" and what to do if a child is seen in such activities?
The engine of progress — the curiosity and thirst for knowledge. First of all, it is manifested in the fact that the baby all pulling in the mouth or tries to touch it. In particular, and his own body.
Genitals for him just as interesting as the toes or knees, the child is studying them to find out what they are for. And if the two-year toddler, taking off his pajamas in the morning, with the call tells you: "Do I have a pisya! And the ass! "Quietly agree with him," Yes, the priest — to defecate, pisya — to write, ears — to hear, and eyes — to see, and now wear more, and then freeze. "
If you think that the attention to the genitals of the baby too sharpened, in any case, do not pull, do not spank or punish him when he was with interest the possibility of his own body. Try gently, quietly switched his interest to something else.
Masturbation — a common phenomenon for preschoolers. It is important that it is not a substitute for a game and chat. In any case, check the following:
- What about the underwear. Do not shake, do not rub the panties? Are there any skin irritation?
- In some cases, baby resorting to masturbation? To calm down? Remove the emotional stress? Find together other, alternative.
Gradually acquaint the child with the generally accepted norms of behavior. Usually it does not require special efforts. The kid sees that society is not accepted to go naked, but if he happened to see mom or dad without underwear — that's okay too. It is better to quietly hide behind than excite morbid curiosity — the forbidden fruit is known to be sweet.
"Mom, Dad," the doctor and other games
Here's one story:
"I do not know where to start — I'm in shock. Yesterday, my six year old son told me that in the country, when adults were not at home, they played with a girl in my father and mother — lay on the bed, covered with a blanket, kissing and caressing each other. What to do? Talk with your neighbors — parents of the girl (the son said it she suggested a game)? Punish (to be honest, it was my first impulse, but I restrained myself)? Maybe it's time to run to a psychiatrist and treat the child? "
Indeed, what to do? We were asked to comment on the situation child psychologist Daria Golubev:
"First of all, it's time to calm down and pull myself together. The fact that you are told there is nothing criminal, it's perfectly normal stage, through which all children aged five to seven years. Now accepted blame loose morals — say, from all sides on children descend sexual themes. But remember his childhood. At all times, including those where there was a kiosk magazines with half-naked beauties and sex scenes necessarily cut from the film censor — the children were playing in the "mother-father", "doctor and patient", "bride and groom" and t . etc. Why are there — even baby animals, barely standing on his feet and reached sexual maturity, are already trying to try on sexy roles.
You are absolutely right that did not punish his son for taking part in the "forbidden games". How many crippled destinies, broken families was the result of the parents at the time "crap beat out" of the heads of the kids, thereby instilling fear and overwhelming aversion to the physical manifestation of love. Appreciate the confidence with which the child belongs to you! Not all the kids talk about these episodes of his parents, even though almost everything is somehow pass through them at a certain stage of its development. "
How to respond to such a situation?
If you notice that the child is showing increased interest in the question of "what boys are different from girls", consider them together with a children's atlas, calm and businesslike tone, explain what each part of the body has a purpose. Tell us what parts of the body are called intimate, personal, so they decided not to show to other people. After all, is not accepted, we go to the toilet in one's presence, then, and those parts of the body, which for this purpose are not taken anyone to show. For children 3-4 years, it is quite clear and adequate explanation.
Older preschoolers often wonder why adults can have sex, and children — do not. One might reply that sex — it's part of the family relationship. And in order to start a family, you must first grow up, learn to make money, and most importantly — to be responsible not only for himself but also for his family.
If your baby he is constantly becoming initiator of the "forbidden games" is reason to wonder whether he simply copies accidentally glimpsed in the movie sex scenes, or it lacks in family affection and warmth.
And another very important thing that needs to learn your child. No one has the right to touch him against his will — and especially to his "intimate" places! The right to "security of person" should be an iron my body — only mine. The other person (whether the same age, an older child or adult) without my consent can not touch me. The line between infant amusements and sexual harassment can be very shaky.
By the way, this rule applies to parents and other relatives. Do not kiss the baby violently, against his will. And if that someone is a stranger arrives, immediately react to this situation — the child come to the rescue.