We start from afar: the great and mighty minds of the last century, Richard Bandler and John Grinder was invented NLP — neuro-linguistic programming. This trend in psychology and psychiatry is a heap of disputes, the academic community does not recognize it, but the fact is that NLP is actively used in the various psychological training. With NLP you can learn how to manipulate people (which, it should be noted, is harmful for everyone), as well as to identify their shortcomings and get rid of them. Auditory training, through which you can at least try to negotiate with a lime and its negative qualities, called «six-step reframing.» This anger management technique does not require special skills, and most importantly, it can be used alone without a coach.
What is the essence? The word «reframing» is derived from the English verb «geggate», which means «to insert into the same frame» (a new picture, for example), «re-adjust», «to reframe,» «rethink» And this rethinking broken hitryuschie peppers on six steps — steps.
The essence of this method is to ensure that we are identifying a particular psycho emotional flaw in our behavior, we find in it a «positive life» and use this resource for their own benefit. The fact that, in our minds all emotions, including negative perform a specific function. And this function always has a positive charge for us and our personality. For example, fear of heights protects us from walking on the ledges, irritability allows us to say «no» to those who are attacking us with their requirements, etc. The only problem is that these emotions can get the better of us, and then the spleen becomes our middle name and «no», contrary to Hidden in the depths of humanity, I want to say all in a row (and a lot of different words after add). However, trying to completely remove or suppress disturbing our emotion, we can disturb our psychological balance. Reframing allows us to «trick» our minds and to change an unpleasant reaction or emotion to a less painful (if you’re lucky) or even pleasant (with luck). The choice, unfortunately, is not entirely behind us, and for our unconscious, but more on that later. Thus, the functions that are performed by us eliminates the drawback will now perform another, more acceptable for us, emotion or reaction.
TECHNOLOGY IN ACTION
Equipment is relatively simple, and it is easy to make. To begin with, as we work with our consciousness, this consciousness must be brought to a calm state. This will help us a little breathing meditation, which we wrote about in the nineteenth room. Watch for breathing, without being distracted by extraneous thoughts and banishing them, and gradually calm down the mind. Now nothing prevents us pay attention inward. In order to begin to do something, we need to precisely identify the problem — the emotion or reaction — which we’re going to find out. For example, «I want to start going to the gym, but I was too lazy to stop.» Or: «I do not want to get angry, when you have to stand in line, but still angry.» Further, we call this prevents us from reaction or emotion behavior-X. That’s it, we want to change.
Step 1: We need to find out what part of our being responsible for the appearance of behavior-X. What part of ourselves creates a behavior-X and why. We must remember that just did not happen, and if one part of our unconscious person generates a behavior-X, there is no doubt that it is done solely in good faith and pursuing positive goals for us. We turn our mind’s eye in yourself and ask ourselves: what part of us produces behavior-X? The answer we find in the physical layer. This is part of our physical body. Any. Elbow, neck, popliteal depression, solar plexus, etc. A friend of mine felt that his anger speaks aching pain in the elbow. The logic here is not and can not be — everyone will feel the answer differently. The signals can be easily trembling, tingling, blood flow, etc. If the answer is unclear, it is necessary to repeat the question until we do not understand what part of us, we will conduct further, strange as it may sound, the negotiations. Further, we call this part of our personality part-X.
Step 2: Once part of the X-identified, I recommend putting a hand on the place of your body, where it is located. Now we have to thank the part-X for its good intentions, that it is driven to create behavior-X. Then you need to gently offer part-X created to discuss the lack of it. This offer must be made in the form of a question. Well, for example: «Dear Part-X, are you ready to join me in touch and discuss jealousy created you (anger, irritation, desire to eat before going to bed, and so on. N.)?» Wait for the answer. The answer is unequivocal: yes or no. Form of response is always individual. If the answer is negative, Reframe the question.
Step 3. Having an unequivocal positive answer, ask the following question: «Honey of the X-tell, with what intention you create a positive behavior-X? Why did it to me? What is its value for me? «Someone will get a response in the form of some kind of visual images, for some it will be the kinesthetic feeling for someone sounds. In any case, the answer must be clear, without the ability to interpret it in two ways. Part-X can respond to that behavior-X is your safety, or the ability to concentrate, or helps distract assists emotional discharge, protects your sense of dignity, etc. Get the answer.
When the response is received, turn inward and ask: «Dear part-X, if you were given other ways of self-expression — not through behavior-X, a different but no less effectively, you’d agreed to try them?» Received a positive response (I can not explain exactly how, but in practice always clear, do you resist translational movement or happening).
Step 4. Now that part of the consent-X r I cooperate, contact and creative part of his personality. No need to figure out,
N = where it is, in the first case. It does not matter. The important thing is that your creative part is responsible for the so-called «resource status» of your consciousness. They allow us to feel a creative flight of ideas, inspiration, and so on. N. Ask her to propose the replacement of jealousy, anger, fear, etc. on the other, more positive, helpful or just painless for you things. Let these behaviors will not be less yuoo. Get your creative part of the agreement.
Now refer to part-X and tell her that now she can choose herself to replace that behavior-X. In its disposal all the wealth of the creative part of your arsenal. Have to choose 3-4 variants of behavior. Ask your part-X to signal «yes» whenever it will make a new choice. Listen carefully to the answers of your part-X. Then thank the creative part of its assistance and choice. Thank ask and continue to pursue its beneficial activity for your good.
Step 5. Mentally saying goodbye to your creative part, refer to the part of the X-and ask her if she would take advantage of new versions of the behavior / reaction behavior to replace the old-X over the next few weeks. Get consent. If you got all the answer is «no», reassure part-X is that it will be able to continue to use the old style of behavior, that is, the behavior-X, but you would like it to try first new options that she chose .
Step 6. EPER need to know whether there are other parts of you that might oppose your new reactions. Ask: «Are there any parts that are opposed to some of my new behaviors?» Be attentive to any signal. Carefully examined with each of them. If you get some kind of signal, ask the part that he was sent to strengthen its signal, if it is really mind. Make sure that new elections have met the approval of all concerned parts, otherwise an internal conflict. Make sure that these new options are also tested to any objection. Those who are interested in more detailed description of sheetishagovogo reframing, I am pleased to refer to the excellent book by R. Bandler and J. Grinder «Frogs — in princes.» Be happy.
Step 1. We define a part-X, that is, that part of our personality, which produces X-behavior.
Step 2. We come into contact with a part-X and offer it to us to communicate. We obtain consent.
3 Step. We ask of the X-about with some important and positive intention it generates behavior-X. We get the answer. Then ask part-X, she agreed to try other, less efficient behaviors. We get the answer.
Step 4. We appeal to our creative side with a request to pick up part of the X-replacement options of behavior-X. These behaviors should be no less functional and less traumatic for us. We obtain consent from the creative bowls do it. We report about this part-X.
5- and pitch. Thanks to the creative part and obtain consent from the part of the X-try these new behaviors.
Step 6. We find out whether there are in our part of our personality, we disagree with the new modes of conduct. If there are any, we avoid internal conflict, or refer them to our creative side, or their refreymiruem from step №2.