Modern parents can be difficult to navigate among the many theories about bringing up children. About how to inculcate a child the family values and the principles of using alternative psychology raise a child healthy and happy, says Rami Blekt.
Rami (Paul) Blekt, philosopher, writer, teacher and consultant in ancient Indian astrology and eastern (alternative) psychology, the father of three children.
If you want your child has grown man worthy of respect, remember, first of all the parents have to have spiritual guidance and to be an example for the children. Children tend to repeat our actions, but do not always listen to the words. So my first and important advice to parents: you need to develop themselves. Remember that raising a child, you are in many ways defined the line of his life and his future.
Think of a parent role
Keep in mind that being a parent — it’s hard work. When my daughter was three years old, she was asked what she wants to be when he grows up. She said, «Mom!» Ambient surprised: «It’s not a profession.» But in fact, my mother — this is a real profession, and difficult. Mom should be able to provide first aid, it should be top-class teacher, know how to create a family comfort and the right atmosphere, how to raise children. It is necessary to learn.
One of the main criteria for a successful life — this is how we were able to educate their children, how much love they were given.
For the upbringing of the child the same father and mother are required, the combination of masculine and feminine energies. The role of the mother is particularly important in the early years of a child’s life — all children are especially in need of affection and care. The father should do more education when the child grew up, about 7 years. It is important that the father did not lisp with children, and my mother was not stiff like a man. Only if both parents fulfill their traditional roles, the child grows up a harmonious personality. If a male or female energy is lacking, then the children may have health problems and difficulties in life.
Of course, often have problems: nowadays many men are so busy making money that they have no time for family. But it is very important that the father of at least one hour a day spent with the children, because they need no money, and attention and unconditional love.
Protect children from the influence of mass culture
You have to understand that modern culture encourages people actively in the process of consumption. I believe that the large corporations are a kind of «undeclared war», deliberately programming children on consumer sentiment. This is done through advertising, cartoons and movies. A child with a continuous stream of childhood hears appeals of certain brands to buy goods. If you do not pay attention to it, there is a risk to transform it into a stupid and selfish creature, which is easy to manipulate. Genetically modified foods, poor education, consumer attitude to life — with such influence over a generation or two we just left.
It all starts with today’s cartoons (especially American), which seems to be created for young children. But pay attention to the stories: aggression, fighting, fighting endless.
In the movies for teens more violence, there is sexual overtones, and over family values there just laughing. This movie is almost programs on children’s aggression in life, lack of respect for others — especially for parents.
Children are taught that only need to strive to ensure that look attractive in any way to achieve fame. And this attitude is inculcated from childhood. But the child sometimes one film to stray from the right path. Therefore, it is important to reasonably protect children from show business and consumer culture, instill moral values, go to church, read a good book together.
Access to the TV and the computer, it is desirable to limit — in fact, almost all modern parents complain that the child is immersed in a virtual space. It is better not to have a TV at home and do not buy your child a personal computer as long as possible. Sami Pick up cartoons and movies that you can watch with the whole family. Let it be Soviet cartoons, which for many years have taught us good.
Yes, it is not easy. But once we have children, we have to take responsibility for them. Of course, the child can tell you: «Everyone looked this movie, why can not I?» And the truth is, if everything really seeing this movie, you will be more difficult to refuse. Therefore, I urge you to be attentive to the child’s environment, to know whom to communicate and make friends of your children, and especially — to the choice of school.
Carefully choose a school
Our destiny is influenced by three things. Karma — what we got from a past life, the consequences of past actions. The second very important factor — education. And communication.
To send their children into the first school, you risk: he can get into bad company, and the impact it will have on the family is weakened (or even destroyed). If next to the house there are no schools, where children not only do math, but also bring spiritual values, I suggest thinking about home education. So, by the way, in Canada, recently conducted a study and found that children who were at home, the level of education and culture are much higher than those who attended public schools.
But if you do decide that your children will go to a regular school, do not let na drift process of their formation. I have worked with many families and had seen such cases: a smart girl falls into bad company, and in a matter of weeks rolled on the same level. In such a situation should immediately change the school.
No teacher will not replace the child harmonious family, so do not expect that everything you need your children will be taught in the classroom. Take as much as possible actively involved in children’s learning. In some schools, for example, parents come once a week after school and socialize with the kids: someone talks about trades, others — on the books, and others — about how to become more confident. And these lessons much more useful to the usual lessons!
Take time to talk with the class teacher, regularly interested in what is happening with your child. I would like to underline that the question of education in the West and the East are quite different. In Western culture, it is considered an educated man who read a lot of books, learned a wealth of information. On the eastern point of view, if you read a lot, but are unhappy, unhealthy, and unsuccessful, your knowledge is useless.
If you are not perfect the soul, enhanced learning will not bring happiness, but only lead to degradation. In addition, a large amount of information is a concern of the mind, especially in adolescents, so it is important to limit its flow. The child absorbs knowledge like a sponge, for it is important that he drank «clean water»: be careful what he reads, learns, looks.
Children under the rigor
Remember how the aristocrats raised children in tsarist Russia. Education was strict: strict discipline, no exceptions, fairly modest conditions. Approximately the same situation and now in expensive private schools in the West. There is proverb: «Spare the stick — lost son.» Of course, young children need to take care and pamper, but after 5-7 years of education should become stricter.
In the period from 12 to 15 years, teenagers are experiencing a difficult, «revolutionary» period: rebel, rude and scandals can harm ourselves, without even realizing it. Therefore, it is best if the children maximum immersed in activities that they enjoy: sports, music, painting. Do not leave them too much time to rest.
Learn to give and share
How can you protect the child from negative influence of the consumer society? Just teach him to give and to take care of loved ones.
In Russia, many parents are afraid to hurt their children, so they hide from the troubles of this world. I urge you to go for educational purposes, for example, in a hospital or hospice. Start with small things: remove together in the hallway, if there is dirty. Help someone who needs support. Take a trip to a nursing home where you want to help the volunteers.
In my view, to protect the child from all negative feelings and try to ensure that it is only the material — this is a serious mistake, especially education of boys. It is better if your child is a child to gain experience and habit of selfless service, is extremely important.
Tells the children about what is happening in society, how to recognize dishonest, manipulative techniques, let the child learn to be aware of the mechanisms of consumption. Here in Moscow there is a club for teenagers, where psychologists talk with children on these topics, and it works great! Do not assume that children are stupid and naive, it is not.