Bedbugs on the transistor

Bedbugs on the transistor

EARLY science fiction died Anatoly Dnieper was also a master of political pamphlets. Published works selected from the archive of the writer, refers to this genre. «Bedbugs on transistors», written 15 years ago, unfortunately, is not obsolete.

Jukes screaming at full throat:

— Is that the way the flies fly? Is flies fly so?

He called the projectionist, whispered something in his ear, and then said:

— Let these fools look again.

Projectionist drew the curtains, and in a moment on the screen appeared a terrible monster. Under the picture was going fine print explanation.

— Hey, Richelieu, read aloud! — Ordered Jukes.

— «The suborder of Diptera insects.»

— So, how many flies wings?

— Two …

— And you?

Richelieu was silent.

It was a time-lapse photography. Monster graceful legs buckled, raised wings, lifted her stumpy ass and slowly began to soar. Taper proboscis performed intricate movements, like aircraft radar antenna.

We were enchanted by this miracle of nature, and despised Richelieu. Contempt reached its climax when the screen is off for a moment to break out again with another image.

Have you ever seen a cartoon Force on our politicians? His portraits can be said: «Ridiculously like!» So this is the second monster was ridiculously like just flown away a fly. Instead of immediately break away from the support, it was the first reared and jumped several times, both on stilts. At this time four wings for some reason, expand and collapse, and then waved everyone in itself. We sprinkle of laughter, and jerk Green downright whinnied to please Jukes.

— Now get out!

Getting this venture was put in office Jukes, where we gathered to hear what he would say brash young guy who came from the capital.

— You provided a great honor … The president … requires continuous management of information … The completeness of the information …

After that, in our institute and entered the crossing at the door put three successive maypole, who heard nothing and saw nothing except passes. All of us checked out and issue a certificate.

When the formalities were over, we were told what we will do. Flies. More precisely, radiomuhami. More precisely, radiomuhami on molecular electronics.

Can you imagine! It flies sort of fly and carries the bowels of radio transceivers. He sits on your shoulder (you need to provide it to sit it on the shoulder, not the nose or on the head), and you at this time in a whisper tell your closest friend, that, say, our president — that his first mate — also in order Defence Minister — is clearly that, and so on, everything as it really is. Radiomuha all it takes and shortwave transfers where necessary. There’s listen to a tape recorded on a special message frame determine the location of the flies, the team on the radio gives the nearest police post there to meet you leaves a closed car. A fly flies further and sits down next to her shoulder.

But it is, so to speak, outdoor flies. A must have housefly, desk, flies for public spaces, flies transport, in general, only about forty different options radiomuh by which the state will keep abreast of the nation and to take timely and necessary political decisions.

If you think that it was a no-brainer, you are deeply mistaken.

Here are some key requirements that were formulated in the terms of reference on radiomuhu.

1. It can fly, crawl and when to sit still.

2. It does not fall on subjects with acute nervous system, and hovering over them.

3. Fly has an autonomous power supply.

4. In order not to arouse suspicion, it should pretend to be dead by the action of insecticides.

5. When pressed strongly, it is humming, and then crushed with a distinctive crunch.

6. Fly-hour, and once a week arrives at the appointed place for routine inspection.

7. It should not pursue senior government officials (except for a few names that are stored in the owls. Owls. Owls. Owls. Secret package).

Fly as receiving and transmitting device, do not pose any difficulty. Coumarone to do it, our main molektronschik that for the week amounted schematic block diagram, and has developed technology to connect molecular diodes and transistors in an amount equal to one third of flies vulgaris. Kirkip-power (as we called him) proposed elementary, but robust circuit Mushin energy due to the electromagnetic field generated by the clock of our propaganda radio station «Free World.» Blow your nose Green debugged orientation flies in space and time. On Richelieu fell all mechanical part: flying, buzzing, crawling on the horizontal and vertical walls and hover above the head of an important subject for the state of the nerve, and fading under the influence of chemicals. I was responsible for the appearance of flies and for that she should be crushed.

Soon we realized that depend on each other and all together from the Richelieu. Mushin electronics could not operate reliably without proper screening, but metal case is excluded, as it is not crushed. Fly — aircraft with flapping wings, but the wings do not have to reflect radio waves, otherwise there will be a reliable orientation in space.

However, all these scientific and technical issues have faded to psychological problems, the fly must choose that (or those) as to whom (or where) you need to make important decisions. How should it do so?

— You guys are mere babes! -razvodil Hands cheeked consultant with a paunch and a good blue glazami.- There can be seen immediately: there is ruffled, reading the newspaper, angrily throws it in the trash, he said in a whisper, looking around. That’s all. Him and take the fly.

Coumarone howled. He carefully wrote down a set of important features such as hypothetically and began drawing algorithm and molecular electronic circuits of a computing machine, which would be on the above visual and audio data oriented fly.

But now a third of the volume of Mushin is no longer enough. Coumarone grappled with Kirkipom-powered. And radionapravlennostyu. After all together we rushed to the Richelieu and begged him to press from mechanics.

It is closely. God, how he sharpens! Blank layout could not be distinguished from the normal being created by the Lord God. But as soon as a fly crammed radio transmitter, resolver car, food and liquid, she became heavy and ceased to fly! Then everyone jumped on me and told me to put away my stinking mixture. But I could not do it, because for the production of Mushin extract in the south of the country was already built factory. Richelieu had for street, very mobile flies replace one pair of two wings.

A week after thrashing at Jukes fly finally stopped before takeoff to stand on its hind legs. We have produced several dozen model flies and took them on field trials.

The desert was made a layout of a modern city with streets, restaurants, cars, power stations and the radio station «Free World.» In this city we caught up different people they behaved like normal, and they had to check all our molektroniku.

First fly sat on the shoulder of Richelieu. We could not understand why, but, it appears, at this point he micromanipulator hastily repaired the other foot and flies himself whispering obscene words. When he loudly sang our national anthem, the fly had left him alone and went to look for a more suitable facility. We are your pleasure soon found that arrived in town mockup audience did not particularly believe Mr success of the company and really behaved naturally. Anyway, very soon we will have won a huge number of juicy information.

As far as politics and economics, there is the most unlucky two deputies from opposition parties. Flies swarmed over them like a bunch of manure and then immediately got the idea to ensure that all members of Parliament muhoottalkivayuschim mikroradioapparatom.

At the institute, we eagerly began to process the results of field testing and to make minor amendments to the scheme. At the same time there were technologies that our data is urgently designed plant for mass production.

Mood was serene and happy, and after work we went to our cantina. We talked about that, about this, neighing like a horse when Richelieu entered, and taking all the dark eyes, suddenly staring at the ceiling. We did not understand, and also raised their heads, and what we saw there, made us greatly warmed, oledenet. On the ceiling I was sitting, at least a dozen flies.

Bastard Green singing the national anthem. One fly fell from the ceiling and flew to another place, closer to me. I am completely sober and began to praise the Minister of our culture. My fly did not move! Then I, too, began to sing the national anthem, but she continued to sit motionless. I yelled at full throat: «Long live the president of the republic!» The fly circled around Richelieu. I felt like a traitor. The cantina ominous silence reigned. All eyes were turned to the ceiling.

We did not notice the tall coumarone put three tables on each other and began to slowly creep up. Only when there was a loud bang and the tower of the tables with the coumarone collapsed, we have paid attention to it.

Lying on the floor, he slowly opened his fist. Between fingers jammed fly. He began to press her. She frantically buzzed, and then burst. Coumarone handed the corpse of my research. I sniffed it.

— In my opinion, this is a real fly …

— More specifically?

— Need a microscope …

Green volunteered to go for the microscope. He went and never returned. Microscope brought Richelieu. It was a fly.

During this time, coumarone caught a three flies, and they were all true. As for the rest, they were devilishly quirky, and therefore the rest of the night we sang the national anthem.

The next day we came to work and found out that all of us dismissed as unreliable. Leaving the Institute, we stopped at the door of the cabinet chief, where cries Jukes:

— Is it so bugs crawling? Do bugs crawling right?

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