My loss

My loss

On reception at the psychologist, MD, PhD Catherine Narkevitch, woman

Lost control of appetite. He used to obey her, and now raging tornado. WHAT TO EAT natural desire to turn uncontrollable elements?

A time of love and dislike

— Hello, my name is Natalia, I

29 years. I’m worried about my weight. Rather, what he got out of control.

— When did it happen?

— About six months ago. There has always been full, but diets are easily lost 5-7 kg, could easily avoid overeating, control weight on your own. Now everything has changed: the attitude to yourself, and weight. With the growth of 162 cm weigh 85 kg. I do not know the figure, and most importantly, there was disappointment at the fact that I’m fat, ugly and worthless. I became ashamed of yourself, hate, but with an appetite can not do anything. In the last 6-7 months if it broke loose. Eat greedily, I can not get enough. I’m easier to manage for a long time did not touch the food, than to stop myself when I start there. If we Dorval, then execute the command «Stop, glutton!» I can not.

— Tell us about yourself.

— I’m a photographer, I have two children. Jr. —

3 years old, the eldest — 5. Grove alone, without resentment toward their father, gave birth to themselves. Eighteen months ago, I met with Dennis. He is older than 10 years old, divorced, their children do not. My well received, they did too. After a month of dating began to live together. I used to anyone so do not trust, and with it all happened. I never doubted that did, since she called him to her. — When completely penetrated into the work, I realized that I hate it. Labor Day has become a burden, and the staff Denis -razdrazhat. Against the background of these experiences played out appetite. Once I come to the office, just like eating in the morning waiting for the lunch break. And then stopped going to lunch because of a business lunch is not enough, bought a second. It was easier to not have something to stop in time. Thoughts about food did not leave for a minute. In the evening, of course, I overeat. And so the last six months.

Before Natalya was not fixed on a set of weights, and worse to him because of the extra kilos are not treated. Something happened … something pushed her to the idea of ​​worthlessness. There was a powerful external factor that worked against her, and she dropped her hands.

— Tell us about yourself.

— I’m a photographer, I have two children. Jr. —

3 years old, the eldest — 5. Grove alone, without resentment toward their father, gave birth to themselves. Eighteen months ago, I met with Dennis. He is older than 10 years old, divorced, their children do not. My well received, they did too. After a month of dating began to live together. I used to anyone so do not trust, and with it all happened. I never doubted that did, since she called him to her.

Listen to and learn that Dennis — the head of department in the state structure. A year ago, Natalia gave to himself, giving a stable salary, overseas travel and benefits package. Previously, she worked for freelancing now had to get used to the fact that every day go to work, sit out from start to finish, performing duties, the essence of which she at first did not quite understand. Dennis taught harshly, without ceremonies, commanding tone. Annoying when not cope with the elementary, in his view, things. To report when employees, making it clear that all are equal, but the house was still tender and attentive. Natalia has entered a vicious circle, «the more I are dissatisfied — more committing acts against himself — the smaller and more like myself hate myself.» And Denis … Denis said that he likes, when a woman has a body. His wife was «anoreksichkoy» he was tired of the franchise in the food, the demonstrative refusal of food and other problems that surround yourself constantly losing weight woman. But somehow, chastising Natalia for industrial sluggishness and lack of zeal, publicly pointed to its fullness: «For the figure, too, need to follow-up!» «From prevention to say — at home he apologized. — You become thick. This can adversely affect the sexual relationship. » Natalia in a deep personal crisis caused by incorrect behavior of the men hated the work and self-doubt. If you do not resort to detailed diagnosis, then it reactive neurotic condition with low mood that manifests itself in eating disorders. She eats not, because what is in the depressive anesthesia — does not feel satiety. Compulsive eating — one of the ways of protecting the body get rid of anxiety and neurosis. Stress, ideas of self-worthlessness and only exacerbate the situation: stress causes an increase in appetite, increased appetite weight, the weight increases self-incrimination, and it, in turn, increases the appetite, which the body uses as an anti-anxiety agent. If you do not break the vicious circle, Natalia seriously ill and eventually will wave the hand.

Low self-esteem SUPPORTS depression and anxiety, and they, in turn, supports the increased appetite.

VOID UNDER FOOT

— One thing — the most to think that I’m fat, but to hear it from the man insulting, humiliating, horrible! From his words I have all snapped inside. I rolled the scandal broke out all the wrongs of recent months. She said she was tired of office rat feel that I did not have enough air, love and understanding. About much later regretted, but did not say it could not. Otherwise it would not be me.

— That said Denis?

— He apologized. But my self-esteem dropped to such an extent that I no longer look in the mirror … and indulge in food. Food relieves stress. I ate at every opportunity, in spite of myself to overeat.

Natalya stopped and continued after a pause:

— I have had difficult moments in my life, I bring up the children alone, but all turned out, I did not depend on anyone, I was sure of himself.

I’m not pretty, but my appearance allowed me to treat myself well and, most importantly, to respect themselves. Hear from men «thick» pulled the rug from under his feet. And if before the weight has collaborated with me, but now I have to fight for it, and forces it does not.

Chief prosecutor

— Natalia, now just try to answer that you care about more than -Your weight, related to you or Dennis shattered self-esteem?

— I never thought about it.

— Think about it, this is very important.

He speaks with inflections of thinking:

— Weight, of course, I can lose. Relationship with Denis …

I’m sure that he treats me well, this indicator — his attitude to my kids. They are attached to him, and the children can not be fooled. As for the self-esteem …

— You told him that his comments hurt you?

— Yes. I can not forget them, even after his apology. I’m sure that Denis attached to me. Moreover, I am sure that our relationship will end only when I stop them. And I’m sure they will break, if I understand that became shapeless and asexual … Break necessarily repeats, with tears in her eyes) … Yes, you’re right, self-confidence worries me the most. The last few months I’m not confident at all! Previously, this was not. I knew exactly what I have I, and «I» will not fail.

And now it is the «I» into a 85 kg dull jelly.

— Natalia, you are groped root of all evil. The main thing is your anti-stress effect now — working with self-esteem. It is in need of rehabilitation, otherwise you will not be able to get out of the vicious circle. The current self-supporting depression and anxiety, which in turn support the increased appetite. Listen carefully: you respect yourself, believe in your charm, trust yourself, know how to control appetite.

It is a fact, do not argue. Appetite blossomed when you stop respecting yourself. For that you do not respect yourself? What had created a charming red-haired Natalia that it has ceased to respect the most loyal to her people — she? Nothing! So stop hurt yourself. Feel sorry for yourself and love, collaborate with them and be attentive to her.

COMMENT PSYCHOLOGIST

It took us several talks to Natalia learned in person to recognize his real enemy — the idea of ​​worthlessness. To learn how to not self-destruct, do not trample their dignity. Nothing increases the fat deposits around the waist as the thought: «I’m useless, thick, asexual.» As soon as they watch, drive them away like flies obsessions. Think about something else, count up to a thousand, while the idea of ​​worthlessness will not resolve itself … Ask yourself, maybe it’s time to relax? Go somewhere? Buy yourself something?

Six weeks later we called Natalia and that’s what I heard:

— I stopped to criticize, thoughts of worthlessness is now virtually do not bother, as the mad appetite.

About the food I think is less adequate back a feeling of fullness. Ceased to overeating, eating behavior returned to normal weight become manageable, I began to lose weight. At home, too, everything is good, because now I’m confident and not afraid of anything.

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