Mark Twain 1906.
I do not know, for better or worse, but we continue to teach Europe. We have been doing this for more than one hundred twenty-five years. No one invited us to the teachers, we impose on ourselves. After all, we — the Anglo-Saxons. Last winter, at a banquet at the club, which is called «the far end of the Earth,» the chairman, retired military high rank, proclaimed with a loud voice and with great enthusiasm: «We — the Anglo-Saxons and Anglo-Saxons when something ought to, he goes and gets».
Chairman’s statement caused a storm of applause. At a banquet attended by no less than seventy-five civilians and twenty-five officers of the army and navy. It took probably about two minutes before they have exhausted their enthusiasm for this great declaration. Himself inspired prophet, izrygnuvshy her out of his liver or intestine or esophagus — I do not know exactly where he nurtured her — stood all this time, glowing, glowing smile of happiness, each radiating bliss sometimes your body. (I remembered how in ancient calendars depicted man exuding from the gaping womb of the signs of the zodiac and contented, such a happy, that he, apparently, quite unaware that he dissected dangerously and in need of healing by the surgeon.)
If we translate this extraordinary declaration (and the feelings expressed in it) into common parlance, it would sound something like this: «We, the British and the Americans — thieves, robbers and pirates, and this pride.»
Of all those present British and Americans, not one who had the courage to rise to civil and say that he was ashamed that he was Anglo-Saxon, that he was ashamed of civilized society, since it falls in the numbers of Anglo-Saxons, the shame of the human race. I did not dare to take on this task. I flew into a rage and had to be funny in the role of a righteous man, who is trying to teach these greenhorns moral foundations of decency, they can neither understand nor digest.
It was a sight worth seeing — a child’s direct, sincere, selfless enthusiasm for the stinking maxims of the Prophet in an officer’s uniform. Smacked of self-exposure:
I do not whether there were shed by an unexpected blow out the case secret impulses of our national soul? At the meeting were presented to the most influential groups of our society, the ones that are at the levers that drive our national civilization that give it life: lawyers, bankers, merchants, industrialists, journalists, politicians, military officers, officers of the fleet. They were all here. It was the United States convened for dinner and rightfully voicing on behalf of the nation his inner moral code.
This enthusiasm was accidentally broken through expression of feelings, which after recall with shame. No. As soon as someone from the following speakers to feel the chill of the audience, he immediately cram in all their banality of the same great thesis of the Anglo-Saxons and reaped a storm of applause. Well, so is the human race. He always left two moral code — the official, who he parades, and genuine, of which he is silent.
Our motto is: «… we believe in the Lord.» When I read this Bogomol’naya inscription on the paper dollar (valued at sixty cents), I always fancied that she trembles and pohnykivaet in religious ecstasy. This is our official motto. Authentic as we can see, very different: «When the Anglo-Saxons something ought to, he goes and takes.» Our official morality has found expression in a touching and majestic at the same time humane and good-hearted motto:
«Ex rluribus unum», as it were, from which it follows that we are all Americans, a large family, united by brotherly love. And our true morality is expressed in another immortal saying: «Hey, you’re there, get on the ball!»
We borrowed our imperialism in monarchical Europe, and our strange notions about patriotism — if at least one sane person in general will be able to really explain what we mean by the word «patriotism.» So, in all fairness, in response to these and other teachings we also have something to teach Europe.
Over a hundred years ago, we taught the Europeans first learned of freedom, we have a lot of success there contributed to the French Revolution — in its beneficial results and have our share. Later we taught Europe and other lessons. Without us, the Europeans would never have known what a newspaper reporter, no European countries have never tasted the sweetness would be exorbitant taxes, without us, the European Food Trust would never mastered the art of feeding people poison their own money, without our European insurance companies never learn to be rich so quickly through the defenseless orphans and widows without our invasion tabloids in Europe, perhaps, would have come not soon. Relentlessly, persevere, persevere we amerikaniziruem Europe and we hope in time to bring this matter to an end.